We all love puns
Re: We all love puns
The well known Cinese detective Charlie Chan was on a case and was shot at--a bullet grazed his scalp. Because of the bleeding he held a handkerchief on it and applied pressure-- a few minutes later the bleeding stopped and he remarked "So, the clot thickens".
We all love puns
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
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ex-khobar Andy
- Posts: 5739
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
- Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018
Re: We all love puns
True story. I was in a hardware store in Saudi Arabia - early eighties. I was passing the time with my Pakistani buddy who worked there. A Korean contractor man came in, came up to the counter and said: "I want something to crean tires." Ali asked him to say it again, please. "I want something to crean tires." By the third time he was clearly getting frustrated, so I stepped in to help.
"Some oriental people have trouble with the letters 'r' and 'l'. He wants something to clean tires with."
"Clean tires? What does he mean?"
"I dunno, you're the hardware guy. I'm just translating for you."
So Ali went into the back and returned with a spray can of something to make black tires blacker and handed it to the Korean man. He looked at it and by this time he was almost tearful.
"No no no. I want to crean tires!"
And he went down onto his hands and knees on the floor which was a lovely marble effect tiled surface. And he mimed swabbing the floor with a cloth and a bucket, shouting as he did so. "I want to crean these tires!"
Ali managed to suppress his laughter long enough to find a bottle of 409. I was having trouble controlling myself. "Please give it to him and I'll pay for it. Tell him it's on the house!"
As he walked away he turned around to look at these two idiots doubled over at the counter. He's probably still telling the story about the Englishman and the Pakistani who couldn't understand him, laughed uncontrollably at nothing at all, and gave him a free bottle of floor cleaner.
"Some oriental people have trouble with the letters 'r' and 'l'. He wants something to clean tires with."
"Clean tires? What does he mean?"
"I dunno, you're the hardware guy. I'm just translating for you."
So Ali went into the back and returned with a spray can of something to make black tires blacker and handed it to the Korean man. He looked at it and by this time he was almost tearful.
"No no no. I want to crean tires!"
And he went down onto his hands and knees on the floor which was a lovely marble effect tiled surface. And he mimed swabbing the floor with a cloth and a bucket, shouting as he did so. "I want to crean these tires!"
Ali managed to suppress his laughter long enough to find a bottle of 409. I was having trouble controlling myself. "Please give it to him and I'll pay for it. Tell him it's on the house!"
As he walked away he turned around to look at these two idiots doubled over at the counter. He's probably still telling the story about the Englishman and the Pakistani who couldn't understand him, laughed uncontrollably at nothing at all, and gave him a free bottle of floor cleaner.
Re: We all love puns
hop sing brought fingerprinting to America.....
...I thank ben cartwright for that.
...I thank ben cartwright for that.
We all love puns
What a coincidence -- Hop Sak is my Chinese tailor.
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
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MajGenl.Meade
- Posts: 21200
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:51 am
- Location: Groot Brakrivier
- Contact:
Re: We all love puns
Hao Hai is a Chinaman?
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
We All Love Puns
About 167.1 cm.MajGenl.Meade wrote:Hao Hai is a Chinaman?
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
Good one.
Re: We all love puns
shaft....,
...ok, that was funny...., and not the "funny" kinda funny, but humourous kinda funny...
unfortunately for scooter, it did not come from his own mind, but from the mind of another, like no other.....
...."taking it to the streets, there s no other"....
the things you wanna do to........
I don t wanna be TOO hard on scooter...., he might get the wrong idea.....
...he is waaaaay too old for me, but I dn t want to hurt his feelings........
...ok, that was funny...., and not the "funny" kinda funny, but humourous kinda funny...
unfortunately for scooter, it did not come from his own mind, but from the mind of another, like no other.....
...."taking it to the streets, there s no other"....
the things you wanna do to........
I don t wanna be TOO hard on scooter...., he might get the wrong idea.....
...he is waaaaay too old for me, but I dn t want to hurt his feelings........
Re: We all love puns
....and speaking of queer commies.....
...how is that fucking joe guy, fellow?
I hope that he is still hanging low and to the left....., not too far left mind you, but just far enough left to be strange to the right....
.... you know what I m sayin'?
I will say that joe, as the most intelligent person on the site, might really appreciate that AvE fuck, and that zip tie fuck.....
....maybe even that freak, danger cat.....
they are all on the lubetube......
just sayin'.....
...how is that fucking joe guy, fellow?
I hope that he is still hanging low and to the left....., not too far left mind you, but just far enough left to be strange to the right....
.... you know what I m sayin'?
I will say that joe, as the most intelligent person on the site, might really appreciate that AvE fuck, and that zip tie fuck.....
....maybe even that freak, danger cat.....
they are all on the lubetube......
just sayin'.....
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Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9728
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
- Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County
Re: We all love puns
Why did the prune take the apricot to the dance?
Because he couldn't find a date.
-"BB"-
Because he couldn't find a date.
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
Re: We all love puns
...speaking of dried up old fruts..........
Re: We all love puns
jim, I did not know that that was a marley song......
...thanks,
wes
...thanks,
wes
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Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9728
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
- Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County
Re: We all love puns
wesw wrote:...speaking of dried up old fruts..........
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
Re: We all love puns
jeez...., I didn t know that you were a fruit, bill......
....old..., yeah. dried up, yeah....,
...but I just thought that you were shy with the ladyfolk.
sorry bro.....
....see you at the rest stop, eh?
....old..., yeah. dried up, yeah....,
...but I just thought that you were shy with the ladyfolk.
sorry bro.....
....see you at the rest stop, eh?
Re: We all love puns
big RR...., shouldn t that be.... sinese?