Men will screw anything
Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 11:10 pm
A woman who threatened to pull her suitors' teeth out, trick them into thinking she's pregnant and give them a mermaid tattoo on a fake online dating profile still got inundated with messages from men wanting to sleep with her fabricated persona.
Columnist Alli Reed conducted an experiment to test whether the 'worst fake dating profile in history' would deter the opposite sex, but she got more than 150 messages in just 24 hours.
The Los Angeles-based writer created the fake OKCupid profile, 'aaroncarterfan,' using a picture of her best friend who is a model, 'hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it,' despite how attractive the picture is.
She said in creating aaroncarterfan, she set out to be as horrible a human being as possible, which meant being 'mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative and even a gold digger.'
Finishing the statement 'I'm really good at,' she wrote 'convincing people im pregnat (sic) lol,' and she ended 'the first things people usually notice about me' with, 'Prolly (sic) the first thing they notice is the drink Im throwing in there (sic) face LOL.'
When it came to drinking and taking drugs, she wrote she did both often and said one of her main aims was 'keeping america american.'
She also said she was unemployed but couldn't live without '$$$' and cars and went on to say she enjoyed knocking coffee out of homeless people's hands because it was 'sooooooo funny.'
But, despite the despicable persona she created, responses flooded in Reed wrote in her column on Cracked, suggesting some men really didn't have any limits when it came to women, sex and dating.
With her goal to be 'so abhorrent that not even men who comment on YouPorn videos' would respond to her, she was shocked when she got more than 150 messages in just 24 hours.
Her new goal was to get the men to stop messaging her back, and her first response tactic was to be so 'unforgivably awful' by doing things like pretending to be a 14-year-old on Facebook to make fun of her sister's friends because 'LMAOOOOO bullying is fun.'
But one man hit straight back with: 'Lol your so funny. hahaha. you a sexy devil lolso dose ur sis know about it? Any plans for the weekend? Btw what's ur number so we can text?
To another man, she wrote: 'ya lol i fake bein pregnant so much that im like amazing at it, i deserve a nobel proze for it lol. ppl will give u whatever u want if they think ur pregnant SPECIALLY if they think there the dad, omg lol (sic)'
Alas, the being vulgar plan failed and the men kept messaging.
So she tried tactic two: She will ruin your life.
Reed complained to one man 'no one will let me give them a mermaid tattoo,' to which he responded 'hmm so what do I get if I let you? lol' and she wrote ' a mermaid tattoo.'
He responded 'haha deal! What's ur number I'll text u!!'
Next, she demanded men to let her pull out their teeth.
'I THINK U HAVE TOO MANY TEETH SO LET'S MEET UP AND I CAN FIX THAT. I CAN FIX THAT BY PULLING OUT ONE OF UR TEETH,' she wrote in capitals for added crazy.
They were still undeterred so Reed tried tactic three: Talking utter nonsense, partly because of 'the mental and emotional toll' the social experiment had taken on her. However, that didn't work either.
'There are any number of cynical conclusions I could draw from the results of this experiment,' Reed wrote in her column.
A Papa John's delivery man in Florida has been arrested and charged after he was allegedly caught on hidden camera having sex with the family dog.
Joshua Lee Werbicki, 22, was taken into custody on Friday at the Palm Bay restaurant where he works and charged with felony cruelty to animals and misdemeanor criminal sex act with an animal after a video was handed to the police.
Werbicki's roommate set up the camera after she became suspicious when the dog, a German Shepherd mix, began limping and became startled around people.
Brevard County Animal Services Sgt. Michael Healy told the news website FloridaToday.com that Florida law allows the possibility of a court-ordered injunction barring Werbicki from having future unsupervised contact with other animals.
Werbicki is being held on a $2,500 bond.
In August a registered sex offender in Florida was arrested for having sex with a dog a week after being jail on bestiality charges involving another pooch.
James Lyons, 52, from St Augustine, was taken into custody after police said he sexually abused his neighbor's dog
