Plan B Forum

...it was wrong on so many levels.



(no, I didn't think of that myself, but I didn't catch the name of the comic who said it so I can't attribute it)

Today I farted on a crowded elevator...

I try and do that on purpose.

No, what you want to do is fart on an elevator with just one other person on it right before you're about to get off at your floor...

And let that sap get the blame for it when people get on at the next floor it stops at...

Lord Jim wrote:No, what you want to do is fart on an elevator with just one other person on it right before you're about to get off at your floor...

And let that sap get the blame for it when people get on at the next floor it stops at...

I'm proud of my farts. I don't want anyone else getting the credit for them.

Of course, if two people are on an elevator and one of them farts, both of them know who did it.

Big RR wrote:Of course, if two people are on an elevator and one of them farts, both of them know who did it.

Unless they both did it

Big RR wrote:Of course, if two people are on an elevator and one of them farts, both of them know who did it.

Hence my partner's "rule of three" for farting on elevators: you can't fart if you're alone, because someone could get on before you get off and know that you farted, you can't fart with only one other person on the elevator, because they will know it was you, but if there are three you can glare accusingly at the other two and neither of them can say for sure that it is you.

Sirs,

As you may well know, the investigation of flatulence and its source has a long and storied history. As Dr. Benjamin Franklin advised, Fart Proudly.

Yours, &c.

Scooter wrote:

Big RR wrote:Of course, if two people are on an elevator and one of them farts, both of them know who did it.

Hence my partner's "rule of three" for farting on elevators: you can't fart if you're alone, because someone could get on before you get off and know that you farted, you can't fart with only one other person on the elevator, because they will know it was you, but if there are three you can glare accusingly at the other two and neither of them can say for sure that it is you.

It does afford plausible deniability.