Plan B Forum

Wife comes home and in a commanding voice says 'take off my blouse'
I agree and take off her blouse.
'Now take off my skirt'
I agree and take off her skirt.
'Now take off my bra'
I agree and take off her bra.
'And finally I want you to take off my knickers'
So I take off her knickers.
'And now for the last time please stop wearing my clothes!'


I had a really weird dream last night.
I dreamed I was swimming in Orangeade.
Turns out it was just a Fantasy


My wife came home today and told me to stop doing my flamingo impression.
So I had to put my foot down.


I was trying to explain puns to my kleptomaniac friend today, but she kept taking things literally.


I bought my epileptic mate a strobe for his birthday.
He'll have a fit when he sees it.


I always thought that I was blood type A. However, it turns out my doctor has terrible handwriting and it was a typo.


A man walks into the opticians and puts a parcel on the counter. He unwraps it to reveal a massive, knobly, stiff turd.
The optician said "what have you brought that in here for?"
The main replied " well every time I do one, it makes my eyes water"


My pet mouse, Elvis died today...
He was caught in a trap.

pretty good ones.....