Jokes: May not be everyone's taste...
Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 3:09 am
A horny housewife in stockings and high heels puts on a cape .
She bursts into the bedroom and shouts to her husband "SUPERPUSSY!!!!" .
He takes one look at her and says ..
"I`ll have the soup."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!
The missus was watching a cookery programme the other day.
I said, "What you watching that for? You can't cook."
She said, "You watch porn."
The Irish arm of Al Qeada have claimed resposibility for driving a cement truck off a bridge onto a commuter train in Surrey.
Police believe it was a suicide mortar attack!
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes like Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
Apple have announced a new product, just for women. The I-Tit will be a breast implant that plays MP3's.
Women's groups are said to be very pleased, as they are sick of men looking at their chests and not listening to them.
The Conservative Party in teh UK have just announced that they will be making it harder for people to claim benefits
They will now only be printing the forms in English.
A lady in a library wanted a book on euphemisms. So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it.
I needed some extra cash, so I robbed a bank.
Now I just need to figure out what to do with all this sperm.
Men; if you watch Cinderella backwards it's much better, it's about a woman that learns her place.
Just a word of warning to all you eBay users. Don't buy any printer cartridges from any sellers in Yemen. I ordered a couple about a week ago and there's still no fucking sign of them.
Stephen Hawking can finally achieve an erection now that doctors have disabled his pop-up blocker.
She bursts into the bedroom and shouts to her husband "SUPERPUSSY!!!!" .
He takes one look at her and says ..
"I`ll have the soup."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!
The missus was watching a cookery programme the other day.
I said, "What you watching that for? You can't cook."
She said, "You watch porn."
The Irish arm of Al Qeada have claimed resposibility for driving a cement truck off a bridge onto a commuter train in Surrey.
Police believe it was a suicide mortar attack!
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes like Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
Apple have announced a new product, just for women. The I-Tit will be a breast implant that plays MP3's.
Women's groups are said to be very pleased, as they are sick of men looking at their chests and not listening to them.
The Conservative Party in teh UK have just announced that they will be making it harder for people to claim benefits
They will now only be printing the forms in English.
A lady in a library wanted a book on euphemisms. So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it.
I needed some extra cash, so I robbed a bank.
Now I just need to figure out what to do with all this sperm.
Men; if you watch Cinderella backwards it's much better, it's about a woman that learns her place.
Just a word of warning to all you eBay users. Don't buy any printer cartridges from any sellers in Yemen. I ordered a couple about a week ago and there's still no fucking sign of them.
Stephen Hawking can finally achieve an erection now that doctors have disabled his pop-up blocker.
