We all love puns

Got jokes? Funny images? Your tales of disaster? Youtube links?
Post them and share them.
Let the world laugh with you, (more fun if it's at you!)
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Econoline
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Econoline »

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People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Scooter
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Scooter »

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

-- Author unknown

Big RR
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Big RR »

The worst one I recall:

The kingdom of the Trids was being bullied by a Giant; the giant demanded that each day a Trid would have to be presented to him (and he would drop kick him or her across the hill)--otherwise he would kick the entire Trid village to pieces. The Trids sent envoys to him to try and negotiate a peace, but he just dropped kicked them as well, so eventually they just accepted they could do nothingthey presented a new Trid to him every day.

One day a Rabbi visited from a foreign land and, on hearing of what was going on, offered to speak with the Giant on their behalf; when he went to him and asked him to stop the carnage , the giant just laughed and said "Hell no" . The Rabbi, angered, then said, "well why don't you just kick me" and the giant replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids".

Not worth the read, was it?

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Crackpot
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Crackpot »

I thought that story would have ended up with the giant getting his comeuppance like the giant ending up losing his vision due to carelessly kicking a townsperson made from dried grass.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Bicycle Bill »

What kind of cellular device does a pirate use?

An Aaayyyyyye-phone.
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-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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Econoline
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Econoline »

SPRING GETTING CLOSE......SAW SOME BUDS ON A TREE THIS MORNING.....
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People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Joe Guy
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Joe Guy »

It won't be long until it's time to do some Spring pruning...

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ex-khobar Andy
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Re: We all love puns

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

Econoline wrote:SPRING GETTING CLOSE......SAW SOME BUDS ON A TREE THIS MORNING.....
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FAKE BOOZE!!!

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Long Run
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Long Run »

Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."

"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"

"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."

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RayThom
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We All Love Puns

Post by RayThom »

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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

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Long Run
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Long Run »

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Econoline
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Econoline »

When life hands you plastic, make laminate.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Joe Guy
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Joe Guy »

A man had a craving for mutton, so he cooked laminate it.

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Econoline
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Econoline »

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People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Long Run
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Long Run »

Joe Guy wrote:A man had a craving for mutton, so he cooked laminate it.
You can hear the laminatations of punsters everywhere over that one.

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Took my pet bunny to the barber shop and asked them if they could do a hare cut.
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-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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RayThom
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We All Love Puns

Post by RayThom »

Bicycle Bill wrote:Took my pet bunny to the barber shop and asked them if they could do a hare cut.
Barbershop... or butcher?

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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Bicycle Bill »

I should have posted this one on Valentine's Day ....

What did the plow say to the tractor?

"Pull me closer, John Deere."

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-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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Lord Jim
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Lord Jim »

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Joe Guy
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Re: We all love puns

Post by Joe Guy »

It should be meteorite meatier, right?

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