My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
We all love puns
- Econoline
- Posts: 9555
- Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
- Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans
Re: We all love puns
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God @The Tweet of God
— God @The Tweet of God
Re: We all love puns
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."
-- Author unknown
-- Author unknown
Re: We all love puns
The worst one I recall:
The kingdom of the Trids was being bullied by a Giant; the giant demanded that each day a Trid would have to be presented to him (and he would drop kick him or her across the hill)--otherwise he would kick the entire Trid village to pieces. The Trids sent envoys to him to try and negotiate a peace, but he just dropped kicked them as well, so eventually they just accepted they could do nothingthey presented a new Trid to him every day.
One day a Rabbi visited from a foreign land and, on hearing of what was going on, offered to speak with the Giant on their behalf; when he went to him and asked him to stop the carnage , the giant just laughed and said "Hell no" . The Rabbi, angered, then said, "well why don't you just kick me" and the giant replied:
"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids".
Not worth the read, was it?
The kingdom of the Trids was being bullied by a Giant; the giant demanded that each day a Trid would have to be presented to him (and he would drop kick him or her across the hill)--otherwise he would kick the entire Trid village to pieces. The Trids sent envoys to him to try and negotiate a peace, but he just dropped kicked them as well, so eventually they just accepted they could do nothingthey presented a new Trid to him every day.
One day a Rabbi visited from a foreign land and, on hearing of what was going on, offered to speak with the Giant on their behalf; when he went to him and asked him to stop the carnage , the giant just laughed and said "Hell no" . The Rabbi, angered, then said, "well why don't you just kick me" and the giant replied:
"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids".
Not worth the read, was it?
Re: We all love puns
I thought that story would have ended up with the giant getting his comeuppance like the giant ending up losing his vision due to carelessly kicking a townsperson made from dried grass.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
- Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9015
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
- Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County
Re: We all love puns
What kind of cellular device does a pirate use?
An Aaayyyyyye-phone.
-"BB"-
An Aaayyyyyye-phone.
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
- Econoline
- Posts: 9555
- Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
- Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans
Re: We all love puns
SPRING GETTING CLOSE......SAW SOME BUDS ON A TREE THIS MORNING.....
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God @The Tweet of God
— God @The Tweet of God
Re: We all love puns
It won't be long until it's time to do some Spring pruning...
-
- Posts: 5419
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
- Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018
Re: We all love puns
Econoline wrote:SPRING GETTING CLOSE......SAW SOME BUDS ON A TREE THIS MORNING.....
FAKE BOOZE!!!
Re: We all love puns
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
We All Love Puns
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
- Econoline
- Posts: 9555
- Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
- Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans
Re: We all love puns
When life hands you plastic, make laminate.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God @The Tweet of God
— God @The Tweet of God
Re: We all love puns
A man had a craving for mutton, so he cooked laminate it.
- Econoline
- Posts: 9555
- Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
- Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans
Re: We all love puns
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God @The Tweet of God
— God @The Tweet of God
Re: We all love puns
You can hear the laminatations of punsters everywhere over that one.Joe Guy wrote:A man had a craving for mutton, so he cooked laminate it.
- Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9015
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
- Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County
Re: We all love puns
Took my pet bunny to the barber shop and asked them if they could do a hare cut.
-"BB"-
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
We All Love Puns
Barbershop... or butcher?Bicycle Bill wrote:Took my pet bunny to the barber shop and asked them if they could do a hare cut.
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
- Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9015
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
- Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County
Re: We all love puns
I should have posted this one on Valentine's Day ....
What did the plow say to the tractor?
"Pull me closer, John Deere."
-"BB"-
What did the plow say to the tractor?
"Pull me closer, John Deere."
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
Re: We all love puns
It should be meteorite meatier, right?