We all love puns

[Lord Jim]

I will say that joe, as the most intelligent person on the site

Okay, well that settles it...

Wes and Joe must be the same person...

Nobody but Joe could possibly believe that...

[MajGenl.Meade]

[Crackpot]

Joe would never be so uncreative as to stoop to inane strings of incoherent vulgarity. I think Joe subcontracted all wesw posts to liberty.

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-

[Scooter]

[Scooter]

[Joe Guy]

I will say that joe, as the most intelligent person on the site

Okay, well that settles it...

Wes and Joe must be the same person...

Nobody but Joe could possibly believe that...

Wesw may be difficult to take at times but sometimes he's very perceptive.

BTW- Do you know what really bugs me?

Insect puns.

[Scooter]

Ooooh, that stings.

[Long Run]

Now we are on an insect aside.

[BoSoxGal]

A termite scurries into a bar and asks, is the bar tender here?


A dung beetle crawls into a bar and asks, bartender, is that stool taken?

[Joe Guy]

This isn't a pun. It's a sluggish joke....

A man hears a knock at his door. When he answers the door he looks down at the porch and sees a snail. The man says, "what the heck?" and he picks up the snail and throws it. 15 years later he hears a knock at his door. He answers the door and the snail is back and says "Why did you do that?"

[RayThom]

This isn't a pun. It's a sluggish joke....
A man hears a knock at his door. When he answers the door he looks down at the porch and sees a snail. The man says, "what the heck?" and he picks up the snail and throws it. 15 years later he hears a knock at his door. He answers the door and the snail is back and says "Why did you do that?"

WTF? I can't buy this, regardless if the snail can talk or not. You exaggerate more that Donald Fucking Trump.

The average garden snail moves at a speed of 0.029 mph. Now, just to make the math simple, let's say the guy at the door threw the snail one mile away. So, at the stated snail speed it would be back at the door in 5 days and 12 hours -- NOT 15 years later.

As my hero, George Bush, once said, "There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, 'Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me... I can't get fooled again!"

Idiot!

[Joe Guy]

Hey Ray!

What do you call a gangster snail's lady friend?

A gun mollusk.

[Bicycle Bill]

Two elephants were down at the river bank.  Suddenly one elephant noticed a turtle sunning itself on a log.  Quick as a flash, he reached out with his trunk, snatched the reptile off the log, bashed it against a rock a couple of times, and then finally threw it up against a tree on the bank.

The second elephant watches all this, and then says, "What in the world did you do that for?  That turtle wasn't bothering anybody."

The first elephant said, "One day, about ten years ago, I came down to this same riverbank to get a drink.  Just as I dipped my trunk into the water, that same turtle bit it.  It hurt like hell, and I never forgot about.  So today, when I saw him, I decided to get even."

The second elephant asks, "But how do you that he was the same one that bit you?"

The first elephant said, "I have turtle recall."

-"BB"-

[MajGenl.Meade]

Hey, Ray! You didn't allow for the snail's serious injuries. He had to go through shell.

[RayThom]

Hey, Ray! You didn't allow for the snail's serious injuries. He had to go through shell.

BOO! HISS!

[Joe Guy]

Meade is correct. Try throwing a snail away from your house and see how long it takes to come back. They get shell-shocked and lose their sense of direction.

[Long Run]

Yeah Ray, admit it. You just can't handle a good old fashioned shellacking.

[RayThom]

Yeah Ray, admit it. You just can't handle a good old fashioned shellacking.

Yeah, you're right, I'm shell shocked... and not from eating too many peanuts.

What does snailgate have to say about this?

[MajGenl.Meade]

The lock upon my garden gate's a snail, that's what it is
- Donovan and some of his close Buddhies.