Plan B Forum

Add your own pun-based humour.

You're not going to spore any points with that one...

Lord Jim wrote:You're not going to spore any points with that one...

I found it humorous, LJ.
But then I pride myself on being a fungi.

-"BB"-

That joke is so old that it's getting moldy.

Holy Stiitake... I say enoki of this. I've morel less had with all of you. Now button it.

BTW -- I live in Kennett Square PA. I've heard them all.

Alas, Ray, I agree you have probably heard them all, but has your nose grown ordure blind from the wonderful atmosphere produced by the great gardening compost shipped to Northern Delaware?

snailgate.

Hey Ray, I think Snailgate might be trying to truffle your feathers.

Burning Petard wrote:Alas, Ray, I agree you have probably heard them all, but has your nose grown ordure blind from the wonderful atmosphere produced by the great gardening compost shipped to Northern Delaware?
snailgate.

I live in a development on top of one of Kennett Township's highest hills. The area is mostly residential and very few mushroom farms are close by. Only when the weather is at its hottest and most humid do I get even a hint of "mushroom soil." On average warmer days when I leave my humble abode and drive into the "valley" I have a 50/50 chance of an olfactory assault. I have to go more toward New Garden -- three or four miles west -- to really enjoy the deep, pungent, aroma of mushroom country. BTW -- it can get pretty ripe.

Fortunately, while my building was being built back in 2013-14 I was able to check out the new neighborhood fairly well. One of the things most important to me was just how bad the stink would be. The assault never happened and I never hesitated to sign on the dotted line when my community opened its gates.

Life is good... and methane and sulfide free.

March 16, 1960

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say (What you again)
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools
(How do you know it's full?)
'Cos there's not mush room inside

MajGenl.Meade wrote:March 16, 1960

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say (What you again)
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools
(How do you know it's full?)
'Cos there's not mush room inside

Oh cremini, has this thread hit bottom!

ya ll be trippin', yo...

you so psylly....

Once upon a time, I showed up at a young lady's door to go on a blind date. I was wearing sunglasses and had a white dowel rod that I'd painted a red tip on. We went out a few times after that, but she didn't like the movie "Airplane" that we saw on our last date. I decided that her sense of humor didn't really mesh with mine. Just not strange enough, although the blind date gag had her laughing. That was long before people RAOTFL.

Maybe half a dozen blind dates later, my favorite "setter-upper" (whom I've known since our first high school class 52 years ago this month) convinced me to go out with the future Mrs Mc. It sure took her a while to find a winner. We're all still friends.

That said, here's my favorite pun joke:
One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones. Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat. So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some. On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest. In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion. He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.

"Officer," he said, "what's going on?"

"You're under arrest," said the policeman.

"But why?" he asked.

The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

MGMcAnick wrote:... The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

Well, without a doubt, that is one of the worst pun stories I have ever heard.

Without geometry, life is pointless

RayThom wrote:

MGMcAnick wrote:... The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

Well, without a doubt, that is one of the worst pun stories I have ever heard.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made him .......
A super calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.

-"BB"-

That definitely RANKS right up there BB.