Goldenballs
Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:27 pm
"It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking - or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast."
"It was a big year for 3D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seems like everything this year was three-dimensional, except the characters in The Tourist. I already feel bad about that joke. I'm jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?
I'd like to quash the rumours that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the Hollywood Foreign Press can hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish, that is not the only reason - they also accepted bribes.
"I Love You Phillip Morris stars Jim Carey and Ewan McGregor - two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous scientologists. Probably. My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke."
"I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed [the Sex and the City 2] poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza."
On Jennifer Lopez - "She's just Jenny from the block. If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada."
On multi-millionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg: "Heather Mills calls him the one that got away."
While introducing Robert Downey Jr - "Many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-12205469
