Do you love your state? Probably. Hopefully, at least.
But do you love everything about your state? Of course not.
So if you took a few moments you could definitely come up with some barbed, perhaps even bitter, description of your home. And that’s exactly how some people recently chose to respond to a European who asked, “Americans, how would you summarize your state in one sentence?”
Here is every state in the union, described perhaps more unhappily than the departments of tourism might appreciate…
"The dildo of consequence rarely comes lubed." -- Eileen Rose
"Colonialism is not 'winning' - it's an unsustainable model. Like your hairline." -- Candace Linklater
Thanks Scooter. I found them all entirely appropriate for the states I have visited. I have been 'just visiting' here in Delaware for 42 years now and the two word summary for Delaware is just fine.
Newfoundland and Labrador - You can't understand a word of what we are saying so don't worry about pretending that you do.
Prince Edward Island - We're going to milk "Anne of Green Gables" until the end of time because we have absolutely nothing else going for us.
Alberta - The Beverly Hillbillies scaled up to an entire province.
"The dildo of consequence rarely comes lubed." -- Eileen Rose
"Colonialism is not 'winning' - it's an unsustainable model. Like your hairline." -- Candace Linklater
ex-khobar Andy wrote:Vas te faire enculé et le cheval sur lequel tu es monté.
You're not even trying. "Fuck you and the horse you road in on" would more appropriately be translated (in Québec) as Tabarnaque de câlisse d'ostie de sacrement de ciboire.
Or, if you are from the Eastern Townships, Câlisse d'ostie de ciboire de sacrement de tabarnaque.
"The dildo of consequence rarely comes lubed." -- Eileen Rose
"Colonialism is not 'winning' - it's an unsustainable model. Like your hairline." -- Candace Linklater
Most of those were great, but I thought a few were a bit off.
Probably the most egregious misfire is Hawaii ("You're not welcome, but we'll take your money"), where I've been several times and never felt the slightest bit unwelcome. I dunno...maybe "Believe it or not, you're still in the US"? "Halfway to Oz"? "Jetlag capital of the US"?
I'm not sure I even understand the ones for New Mexico or Ohio. (My suggestions: NM, "Not new, not Mexico" and OH "Clowns to the left, jokers to the right, stuck in the middle with you".)
And Massachusetts? The "Two seasons" slogan, or BSG's alternative, would be just as (or more) appropriate for MI (or really, any state in the Great Lakes/Upper Midwest region). MA has much more of a reputation for taxes than MD, so maybe MA should have gotten "If you can dream it, we can tax it" and MD should be "Got crabs?"
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God@The Tweet of God
BoSoxGal wrote:Wouldn’t Old Mexico be more appropriate?
Good point!
Or TSFKAM ......
As this map shows, that could apply not just to California but also Nevada, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas, as well as parts of Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas, and Oklahoma. -"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
