Florida Man

Got jokes? Funny images? Your tales of disaster? Youtube links?
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Gob
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Florida Man

Post by Gob »

OK, google "florida man" followed by your birthday, (eg; "Florida man" January 06,) what headline do you get?
Florida Man Intentionally Drove Ferrari 360 Into Ocean At Top Speed

S_E / SHUTTERSTOCK NEWS
Trisha Faulkner

James A. Mucciaccio Jr., of Deerfield Beach, was identified as the Florida man who drove his Ferrari 360 into the Palm Beach Inlet the day after Christmas.

The driver was reportedly racing his Ferrari at top speed before launching himself and his vehicle into the Atlantic Ocean.

https://www.inquisitr.com/5238472/flori ... ari-ocean/
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

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Lord Jim
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Lord Jim »

Police: Man shot after refusing shot at Ocoee bar

By: Jason Kelly , Field Sutton
Updated: Oct 12, 2018 - 4:16 PM

OCOEE, Fla. - A 39-year-old man shot another 39-year-old man in the foot Tuesday evening at a bar after the victim refused a shot of alcohol that the gunman had offered him, the Ocoee Police Department said.

Police said they were called to Frank's Place on North Clarke Road near East Silver Star Road after Lathon Jeen Yee fired six shots at close range.
https://www.wftv.com/news/local/police- ... /851449806
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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Minor League Baseball Team Holding “Florida Man Night,”
In Honor of All The Crazy Headlines That Come Out Of Florida
You gotta love Florida.

Florida is directly responsible for almost 90% of every single bizarre news story we’ve ever had the privilege of sharing with you guys.  They all start pretty much the same way… “Florida man,” then insert some sort of meth-induced, redneck tomfoolery that even Stephen King couldn’t dream up, followed by an all but certain arrest.

In honor of this timeless American tradition, the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp (yes, that’s really the name of the Marlins’ AA team) is holding “Florida Man Night,” where the team will break a weird Florida law every single inning.

July 26th, that stadium is going to be packed.

And, don’t worry, lawyers will be on the scene.  No, not medical professionals… lawyers.

And, this guy will be there.



Lane Pittman made headlines for standing in the middle of Hurricane Matthew, shirtless and shoeless, waving an American flag while Slayer’s “Raining Blood” played.  An all-time great Florida power move, however, Lane was also arrested for playing the national anthem too loud during the 4th of July.

A true American hero.
https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2019/03/19/ ... f-florida/
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-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Oh — and the "Florida Man" story for my birthdate (11/27) —
Florida man accused of stabbing woman over underdone potato
by The Associated Press | November 27, 2018 at 1:06 p.m.

YULEE, Fla. -- Police say a 36-year-old Florida man is accused of stabbing a woman with a fork over an undercooked potato.

Action News Jax reports Kenneth Crumpton was arrested Monday and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.  He's remained in the Nassau County Jail on a $25,002 bond Tuesday. ($25,002??  Oddly specific number, there...)

An arrest report says the victim told a witness that Crumpton stabbed her in the head with a fork.  Crumpton told investigators he threw the fork at her and it "glanced off her head."

Police said the woman had multiple stab wounds and blood was on her head, but she refused treatment for her injuries.
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-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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BoSoxGal
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Re: Florida Man

Post by BoSoxGal »

I tried it with ‘Florida woman’ and came up with murdered woman stories. I suspect this would be true in the other 49 states, too.

We’ve [not] come a long way, baby!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
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Long Run
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Long Run »

Top three stories were about people doing this, but who doesn't want cookies (fourth listed item):
An apologetic but confused man greeted Florida firefighters after he allegedly started a house fire as he tried to bake cookies on a George Foreman grill, according to local media reports.

Smoke was coming from the house in Niceville, Florida, on Aug. 27 when the naked man met authorities at the door, according to a police report cited by the Miami Herald. At the time, the home was filled with smoke and multiple items were on fire.

"I'm sorry," he said to them and closed the door, the Northwest Florida Daily News reports.

The man "showed no sign of understanding the danger he was in,” the Herald quotes a police report. He later told authorities that he had smoked marijuana and consumed two liters of vodka, the Herald reports.

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Crackpot
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Crackpot »

Mine was not good
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

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MajGenl.Meade
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Re: Florida Man

Post by MajGenl.Meade »

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For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts

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RayThom
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Florida Man... April 1

Post by RayThom »

The fish in the small cooler? No problem. The shark in the big cooler? Problem.

A traffic stop turned into a citiation for a shark violation for a Florida man in the Keys on a Saturday fishing trip.

Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said when Deputy Nelson Sanchez stopped Jose Medina, 63, in Islamorada, he noticed fishing rods in the car. Medina and his passenger said they’d been fishing near the Indian Key Fill and showed off some snapper in a small cooler. MCSO said when the deputy asked about the larger cooler, Medina said it was “only a shark.”

When Deputy Sanchez flipped the top on the larger cooler, MCSO said he found a cleaned shark that Medina, a spearfisherman, admitted was a lemon shark. Sanchez said Medina claimed he saw the shark on the shoreline and didn’t want it to go to waste.

Lemon sharks are a protected species in Florida waters, so Medina was cited for harvesting a protected shark species.
https://www.flkeysnews.com/news/local/c ... 18534.html

BTW -- here is the Ferrari 360 submersible mentioned above:

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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

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Econoline
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Econoline »

From David Gerrold on Facebook:
  • Once again, that meme that's spreading like a social disease -- it is a social disease.

    Okay, go ahead and google "Florida Man" and your birthday. Just don't post the result.

    You're giving away your birthday information to data-miners and phishers and others who gather demographic information.

    I'm snoozing those who repost the meme. I'm tempted to unfriend those who give in to phishing schemes, but I'm not there yet.

    If your personal information is valuable to you, don't give it away to those who intend to misuse it.
...and his later follow-up post:
  • Here's a better game. Make up a headline -- "Florida man lose virginity to goat" -- then google the headline to see if it's true.
...and one of the responses to that later post:
  • They’re all true.
    :lol:
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
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Scooter
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Scooter »

Florida Man Who Threw Toilet Through Window in East St. Louis Found With Second Crapper

An alleged toilet chucker from Florida is facing a felony charge after flinging an old crapper through the window of the East St. Louis school board's headquarters, authorities say.

Police were called to the scene on February 15. There, officers were told that a man carried the commode up to the building and launched it through the front glass before sprinting away, police say.

Officers later found 36-year-old Dave Toliver about a block away, at the corner of Eleventh Street and Cleveland Avenue. They are pretty sure they have the right guy. He was sitting on a second old toilet, police say.

He is now in custody on a charge of criminal damage to property, a Class 3 felony. His bond is $10,000.
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Bicycle Bill »

It ain't just the men in Florida who do questionable things or go off the deep end.  Even the Easter Bunny gets into the act.

Easter Bunny Get Into Street Brawl Because ... well, Florida!


Of all the holidays on the U.S. calendar, Easter is definitely one of the most low-key.  Families gather, eat some ham, and maybe the kids hunt for colored eggs or eat a bunch of candy, but it’s generally pretty chill.  That is, unless you’re in Florida, where being in the holiday spirit and donning an Easter Bunny costume doesn’t stop anyone from getting into a heated street brawl in Orlando.

A video, which was first posted by Instagram user Workfth but subsequently removed due to a perceived “community guidelines” violation, shows a friendly Easter Bunny getting right in the middle of a physical altercation between two men
(actually a man and a woman, but never let the facts get in the way of a good story) on a busy street.  Curses are yelled, punches are thrown, and our furry friend is right there in the thick of it all.

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Posted again by a different user, the video can be seen below (until Instagram inevitably removes it yet again). (sorry, don't know how to embed an Instagram link; click here to view the video on Instagram)

It’s difficult to parse what exactly is happening here but it’s clear that the two men <sic> fighting at the beginning of the clip have a very big problem with one another.  The bunny arrives late to the brawl but manages to get a few jabs and hooks in anyway, landing repeated blows on one of the men before police arrive and break things up.

Once tempers die down a bit the bunny becomes an instant celebrity and proceeds to shadowbox to the amusement of the gathered spectators.  Hilariously, despite throwing repeated punches with a police officer standing just feet away, the bunny sidesteps any reprimand while the cop sorts things out between the two original combatants.

It’s a lovely little video and further proof that Florida is a treasure that should be cherished and appreciated for the entertainment it gives us all.

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-"BB"-
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Burning Petard
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Burning Petard »

Yes, I am paranoid about privacy and the internet but:

"Florida man throws samurai sword at sheriff's deputies"

snailgate

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RayThom
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Florida Man

Post by RayThom »

It appears to be whitey coming to the aid of a black woman. Maybe we can get along.

Ol' Eastie seems to be lapin up all the glory.

Check it out:

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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

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Long Run
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Re: Florida Man

Post by Long Run »

Little older, but illustrates why Florida Man became a thing:
Florida man thought he was stealing opioids but instead got laxatives, police say

A Florida man is facing felony charges after allegedly stealing pills he thought were opioids. They were actually laxatives.

Peter Emery, 56, was caught on video taking pills from a lock box, according a Pinellas County Sheriff's Office affidavit.

He later told police that he took two pills thinking they were hydrocodone acetaminophen — a narcotic that contains an opioid. When he learned that they were "something else," he threw the pills away, the report says.

The pills were "Equate gentle laxatives" — an over-the-counter medication that can help relieve constipation, according to the product's listing on Walmart's website.

Emery's roommate switched the pills after suspecting Emery was stealing his pain medication, WFLA-TV in Tampa reports. Roommate Jayme Ream also set up a camera to record the incident, the station says.

Emery has multiple prior theft convictions, an arrest affidavit says.

Online records show that Emery was booked on felony charges including multiple counts of petit theft on Thursday.

Emery was arrested by Pinellas Park Police near St. Petersburg, Florida, records show. A police affidavit lists his full name as Peter Hans Emery Jr.
A Florida man told police he wasn’t drinking and driving — he was only downing an open bottle of Jim Beam at stop signs or traffic signals.

Earle Stevens Jr. of Vero Beach was arrested for driving under the influence and driving without a valid driver’s license, according the police report obtained by TheSmokingGun.com.

The incident all started when a woman called the Indian River Sheriff’s Office after she said Stevens’ car kept striking her car while in line at a McDonald’s drive-thru, the police report said. “She stated that his vehicle struck her rear bumper a second time and ‘over and over.’”

The woman stayed at the scene and pointed out Stevens to a deputy when he arrived.

“In the passenger seat I could see an open bottle of liquor in a open brown paper bag. As Mr. Stevens spoke I could smell a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath. His speech was slurred and his eyes were red and glossy,” the deputy wrote in his report.

Stevens reportedly told the deputy the bottle on the passenger’s seat contained Jim Beam bourbon.

The deputy said he asked Stevens how he was feeling and he said, “I’m feeling pretty good.”

“I asked Mr. Stevens if he had been drinking today and he stated, ‘yes.’ I asked him how much he had to drink and he stated, ‘I don’t know, about three drinks.’”

Then things got weird in an only-in-Florida kind of way.

“I asked him he he was drinking in the vehicle and he stated, ‘No,’” the deputy wrote in the report. “When I asked him where he was drinking he stated ‘Stop signs.’ He further explained that he was not drinking while the car was moving and only when he stopped for stop signs and traffic signals. I asked him again how much he had to drink today and he stated, ‘Four drinks.’ This was more than his original statement of three drinks.”

The deputy then asked Stevens to perform a field sobriety test. Surprise — he didn’t pass it, according to the deputy.

During the exercise, Mr. Stevens was observed swaying in a circular manner. Stevens later registered a .153 and .147 on a breath-alcohol test, the deputy said.

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