What did you do during the Covid-19 pandemic dad?

[Joe Guy]

Q: What's the last thing these two beer brewers said to each other?

A: I'm dying for a beer.

[RayThom]

Q: What's the last thing these two beer brewers said to each other?

A: I'm dying for a beer.

Don't you mean a "bier?"

[MajGenl.Meade]

Wrongo. They probably said, "I could do with another brew, bru"

[Gob]

Dorset's annual knob-eating competition is to be held online for the first time.



The event - in which contestants vie to gobble more of the county's traditional biscuits than their rivals - usually draws huge crowds.

But this year 100 competitive eaters will live-stream their attempts to swallow the savoury spheres.

Its sister event, the Dorset knob-throwing festival, has been postponed until 2021.

Entrants in that competition would normally gather in a field to toss the thrice-baked treats as far as possible.

Each hopeful in the knob-eating championship has been sent a packet of regulation Moores Biscuits for their heats.

Contestants have a minute to finish off as many knobs as they can manage.

But festival chairman Ian Gregory warned the bun-shaped confections were "quite dry" and "you can't eat very many of them" in such a short time.

"The world record stands at 13 or 14 - that was a momentous performance in 2015," he said.

"But since then no-one has done more than seven," Mr Gregory said.

Organisers said entries had come in from all corners of the UK, including Castle Donington, Ellesmere Port and Cockermouth.

"Obviously lots from Dorset" had also signed up, said Mr Gregory.

Proceeds from this year's event, which begins at 10:00 BST, will be donated to local charity, Weldmar Hospicecare.

The knob-throwing event started in 2008 and now incorporates a food festival, knob darts and games including knob and spoon racing and pinning the knob on the Cerne Abbas giant.

It is expected to return to Cattistock Fete, in west Dorset, on Sunday 2 May next year.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Cockermouth?

[Bicycle Bill]

Judging from the accompanying picture, it appears that one is allowed to dunk them in water to moisten/soften them up, much like competitors do with the hot-dog buns in the annual Nathan's Hot-Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island.

I just wonder, since this is being left up to the contestants' honor (or, since they are more likely all Brits, 'honour'), how many might try to gain an advantage by 'pre-soaking' these until they are little more than balls of soggy dough and then just slurp them down?  Or will a contestant have to rap the top of the table with each one to prove it is hard and firm first?

-"BB"-

[ex-khobar Andy]

The knob-throwing event started in 2008 and now incorporates a food festival, knob darts and games including knob and spoon racing and pinning the knob on the Cerne Abbas giant.

For the benefit of those of our readers who are not familiar with the Cerne Abbas Giant, I offer this without further comment:

[Gob]

Looks like me during lock-down.

[RayThom]

I thought gluttony was one of the seven deadly sins, or has that changed? How it became a competitive sport is beyond comprehension.

With the bad economy brought on by COVID, and subsequent food shortages for many, this competition is sickeningly in bad taste. I hope they get constipated for a month with no access to MiraLAX.

Pigs, all.

[ex-khobar Andy]

Looks like me during lock-down.

I never realized that that was a camera. Now you mention it . . .

Long lens of course.

[Gob]

A freezing kayaker rescued from the sea off The Lizard yesterday (Thursday) had driven down from Leicester, it has been revealed.

Cornwall Live reported how the kayaker was found "desperately clinging" to his overturned boat for more than an hour in freezing cold water a mile out to sea.

Rescuers said the man was suffering from extreme hypothermia when he was located partly submerged after a lifeboat crew was launched after an object was reportedly spotted. He was airlifted to hospital by helicopter.

The Falmouth Coastguard Operations Centre initially paged RNLI volunteers to set out following reports that an unmanned vessel was drifting about a half mile south of Gunwalloe on the Lizard peninsula at 10.43am today (May 14).

A rescue helicopter was also scrambled to Poldhu Cove during the operation.

Penlee RNLI's Atlantic 85 inshore lifeboat Mollie and Ivor Dent answered the shout and headed out from Newlyn in Force 5 to 6 winds and "moderate/choppy sea and 1.5m swell" with James Roberts at the helm and crew members Amy Smith and Andrew ‘Woody’ Wood onboard.

Speaking to BBC Radio Cornwall, James Instance, rescue centre manager at Falmouth Maritime and Rescue Coordination Centre, gave more details about the man and how he came to end up in the sea off Cornwall 's south coast.

He said: "The person had driven down from Leicester, had spent time in his car, had then gone out in a kayak on his own.

"No way of raising the alarm; if he hadn't been spotted by that one member of the public it is almost certain we would have been dealing with a fatality.

It's a fiver hour, each way, drive, Leicester to Cornwall.

They should have let him drown.

[ex-khobar Andy]

The first thing you learn in any kayaking training is how to right it when it capsizes. It's probably 50 years ago now and they wouldn't let me on the sea until I had shown that I could do it in a pool over and over again (literally); and then I had to do it in the sea. I'm pretty sure that my muscle memory could still do it; but of course it may be that while the spirit is willing, the flesh is now weak.

[MajGenl.Meade]

My family motto: "Oar not"

[Gob]

A woman has sparked outrage after driving an hour and a half to the beach before suggesting that others doing the same could cause a spike in coronavirus cases.



Jane Peacock made the baffling assessment while being interviewed by the BBC, causing viewers to point out the hypocrisy.

'It's lovely to get out but I'm quite shocked at how many people are here,' she said while relaxing on the beach.

Video of Covidiot here...

'They're not paying attention to social distancing. I find that quite annoying to be honest – it's like being in Tesco.'

Her daughter, Ellie, added: 'It's nice to get out of quarantine but I think it's going to peak again because everyone's going to go mad and go anywhere they can.'



Twitter users labelled the Peacock family's behaviour as 'selfish' and 'irresponsible' while others pointed out that she's a part of the problem.

One user named MK wrote: 'I think she sees herself as above the problem. This type of ego is what is wrong with the majority of the UK.'

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-

[Gob]

[MajGenl.Meade]

Married life got off to an unexpected start for a pair of newlyweds in South Africa when police showed up to the party. They had received a tip-off that the wedding in KwaZulu-Natal was happening on Sunday despite a nationwide ban on all public gatherings because of coronavirus.

All 50 wedding guests, the pastor who conducted the ceremony, and the newlyweds themselves were promptly arrested and taken to a police station outside Richards Bay. The whole group is to be charged in court on Monday.



The uMhlathuze municipality said the newlyweds would be "spending their honeymoon under stringent bail conditions"

[ex-khobar Andy]

That's a rock formation in Dorset (just up the road from Gob) called Durdle Door. Some great scuba sites around there.

[RayThom]

That's a rock formation in Dorset (just up the road from Gob) called Durdle Door. Some great scuba sites around there."

That's reminiscent of the rock arches I saw near Hanalei Bay on the island of Kauai.

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-