A man walks into a bar....

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Gob
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A man walks into a bar....

Post by Gob »

...for the first time, and says to all the regulars, people who've been drinking there for a couple of decades..

"Hey, you know what this place needs? I'll tell yah!! Those lights need to go, you need a bigger an better sign outside. We need to get a few thousand other customers in here. How about we rearrange all the furniture and get a disco going. I can set up cameras in here and broadcast events around the globe. We should sell different beers, and open a restaurant..."
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

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Sue U
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Sue U »

:lol:
GAH!

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MajGenl.Meade
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by MajGenl.Meade »

:roll: :lol:
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts

ex-khobar Andy
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

:D :lol: :ok

Burning Petard
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Burning Petard »

Oh Gob, I bow before your demonstrated sagacity.

snailgate

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dales
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by dales »

:ok :ok :ok

Good one, Gob!

Your collective inability to acknowledge this obvious truth makes you all look like fools.


yrs,
rubato

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Joe Guy
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Joe Guy »

:) :D :lol:

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TPFKA@W
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by TPFKA@W »

Is that called irony, sarcasm, or evading the question?

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Guinevere
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Guinevere »

Bravo!
“I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks.” ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg, paraphrasing Sarah Moore Grimké

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datsunaholic
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by datsunaholic »

Way better than what I could come up with, Gob.
Death is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

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Econoline
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Econoline »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :ok
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
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Methuselah
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by Methuselah »

Who could this be aimed at?

Methuselah
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Let me finish the story

Post by Methuselah »

The old winos at the bar got up and beat up the interloper. Some died because they hadn’t been exercising and the action was too intense. They grabbed the interloper and threw him out into the street. They covered him with lots of old books, like Moby Dick and Opera Scores, to leave him in clutter. After he went to the hospital, he never came back. When the winos came back in some said, “this place is a dump, and they don’t fix nothing”. Most of them left and went to the bar across the street. The few that were left didn’t have much money, so they nursed their drinks all day and late into the night, but still chased out any interlopers . The owner of the bar looked at his bleak future with a continuing decline in regulars at the bar and decided to retire. The bar was stripped out, with the space turned into a nail salon.
Last edited by Methuselah on Sun Nov 29, 2020 4:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Let me finish the story

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Methuselah wrote:
Sat Nov 28, 2020 6:39 am
The old winos at the bar got up and beat up the interloper. Some died because they hadn’t been exercising and the action was too intense. They grabbed the interloper and threw him out into the street, where he died. When they came back in some said, “this place is a dump, and they don’t fix nothing”. Most of them left and went to the bar across the street. The few that were left didn’t have much money, so they nursed their drinks all day and late into the night, but still chased out any interlopers . The owner of the bar looked at his bleak future with a continuing decline in regulars at the bar and decided to retire. The bar was stripped out, with the space turned into a nail salon.
Alternate reality #1 —

A couple of the people in the bar agree with the interloper. Next thing you know there are ferns hanging everywhere, the jukebox is suddenly blaring (c)rap music, the TV is showing "Dancing with the Stars" or "The Masked Singer" instead of the ballgame, the cooler is full of $8 a bottle 'craft' beer made with anything that will hold still long enough to go into the brew kettle, and dozens of bottles of flavored rum, cinnamon-flavored and apple-infused whiskey, and triple-distilled, four-times filtered vodka made from organic grains grown and harvested only in the Ukraine by left-handed Latvian virgins have replaced the old familiar layout of Jack, Jim, Johnnie, Wild Turkey, Stoli vodka, Bacardi rum, that bottle of Bushmill's that only gets poured on St. Patrick's Day — and those couple odd bottles of Jaegermeister, slivovitz, akavit, or ginger brandy that they keep around for birthday shots and the occasional "I DARE you to try one of these" challenges.

The regulars, who have kept the place alive for years, look around and see that this just isn't their kind of place any more and migrate elsewhere to another hangout where they feel more at home. The owner, who now has to water the ferns, pick up the fallen fronds, and never really liked disco and neon signs in the first place, wonders why he ever listened to some loud-mouth who just came in off the streets all full of piss and vinegar. As the business (and his profits) decline, he finally decides to cut his losses and sells the place to someone who tears it down and puts up a four-plex of one-bedroom apartments on the lot.

So there you have it. Heads, Meth-head wins; tails, the rest of us lose.
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Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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BoSoxGal
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Re: A man walks into a bar....

Post by BoSoxGal »

the cooler is full of $8 a bottle 'craft' beer made with anything that will hold still long enough to go into the brew kettle, and dozens of bottles of flavored rum, cinnamon-flavored and apple-infused whiskey, and triple-distilled, four-times filtered vodka made from organic grains grown and harvested only in the Ukraine by left-handed Latvian virgins
I have no problems with this being on offer - nor with plants. Plants are always good.

No reason we can’t have all that and the old staples. All the hipster bars carry the old staples, that stuff is ‘retro’ and hipsters will pay big bucks for retro.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan

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