Plan B Forum

...for the first time, and says to all the regulars, people who've been drinking there for a couple of decades..

"Hey, you know what this place needs? I'll tell yah!! Those lights need to go, you need a bigger an better sign outside. We need to get a few thousand other customers in here. How about we rearrange all the furniture and get a disco going. I can set up cameras in here and broadcast events around the globe. We should sell different beers, and open a restaurant..."

Oh Gob, I bow before your demonstrated sagacity.

snailgate

Good one, Gob!

Is that called irony, sarcasm, or evading the question?

Bravo!

Way better than what I could come up with, Gob.

Who could this be aimed at?

The old winos at the bar got up and beat up the interloper. Some died because they hadn’t been exercising and the action was too intense. They grabbed the interloper and threw him out into the street. They covered him with lots of old books, like Moby Dick and Opera Scores, to leave him in clutter. After he went to the hospital, he never came back. When the winos came back in some said, “this place is a dump, and they don’t fix nothing”. Most of them left and went to the bar across the street. The few that were left didn’t have much money, so they nursed their drinks all day and late into the night, but still chased out any interlopers . The owner of the bar looked at his bleak future with a continuing decline in regulars at the bar and decided to retire. The bar was stripped out, with the space turned into a nail salon.

Methuselah wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 28, 2020 6:39 am

The old winos at the bar got up and beat up the interloper. Some died because they hadn’t been exercising and the action was too intense. They grabbed the interloper and threw him out into the street, where he died. When they came back in some said, “this place is a dump, and they don’t fix nothing”. Most of them left and went to the bar across the street. The few that were left didn’t have much money, so they nursed their drinks all day and late into the night, but still chased out any interlopers . The owner of the bar looked at his bleak future with a continuing decline in regulars at the bar and decided to retire. The bar was stripped out, with the space turned into a nail salon.

Alternate reality #1 —

A couple of the people in the bar agree with the interloper. Next thing you know there are ferns hanging everywhere, the jukebox is suddenly blaring (c)rap music, the TV is showing "Dancing with the Stars" or "The Masked Singer" instead of the ballgame, the cooler is full of $8 a bottle 'craft' beer made with anything that will hold still long enough to go into the brew kettle, and dozens of bottles of flavored rum, cinnamon-flavored and apple-infused whiskey, and triple-distilled, four-times filtered vodka made from organic grains grown and harvested only in the Ukraine by left-handed Latvian virgins have replaced the old familiar layout of Jack, Jim, Johnnie, Wild Turkey, Stoli vodka, Bacardi rum, that bottle of Bushmill's that only gets poured on St. Patrick's Day — and those couple odd bottles of Jaegermeister, slivovitz, akavit, or ginger brandy that they keep around for birthday shots and the occasional "I DARE you to try one of these" challenges.

The regulars, who have kept the place alive for years, look around and see that this just isn't their kind of place any more and migrate elsewhere to another hangout where they feel more at home. The owner, who now has to water the ferns, pick up the fallen fronds, and never really liked disco and neon signs in the first place, wonders why he ever listened to some loud-mouth who just came in off the streets all full of piss and vinegar. As the business (and his profits) decline, he finally decides to cut his losses and sells the place to someone who tears it down and puts up a four-plex of one-bedroom apartments on the lot.

So there you have it. Heads, Meth-head wins; tails, the rest of us lose.

-"BB"-

the cooler is full of $8 a bottle 'craft' beer made with anything that will hold still long enough to go into the brew kettle, and dozens of bottles of flavored rum, cinnamon-flavored and apple-infused whiskey, and triple-distilled, four-times filtered vodka made from organic grains grown and harvested only in the Ukraine by left-handed Latvian virgins

I have no problems with this being on offer - nor with plants. Plants are always good.

No reason we can’t have all that and the old staples. All the hipster bars carry the old staples, that stuff is ‘retro’ and hipsters will pay big bucks for retro.