When abbreviations don't work

[Scooter]

[BoSoxGal]

[Long Run]

Vaccination date?

[ex-khobar Andy]

Vieques is an island, part of Puerto Rico but off to the east from the main island. A friend of mine was there because we had a project doing cleanup at the US Navy's bombing range. He was a scuba enthusiast and joined the local dive clue, Vieques Divers.

He had a cool T-shirt - 'Come Down with VD.'

[Scooter]

Another case where completing the thought would have avoided misunderstanding.

[Bicycle Bill]

A foot-long would almost double her mileage.....

According to statistics the average female will have five sexual partners in her life.  The average rate of sex is about twice per week, and usually tapers off to 0.5 times per week after age 40.  That works out to be 100 sex sessions annually.

Now, here comes the math.

From age 18 to age 40, there's 22 years.  100 sex sessions x 22 years = 2200 times.   WOW !! 
— but now we'll add another 300 times for age 40 - 80. This works out to become a total of 2500 sex sessions in a lifetime.

We can also work out the duration, since the average sex session lasts about 1.2 hours.  Therefore, 2500 x 1.2 = 3000 hours! 
This means that one spends almost 125 continuous days — or about 1/3 of a year — with 'penis inside pussy'!!

Now statistics reveal that the average cock is 6.5 inches long, and each fuck session consists of roughly 800 in-out strokes. Therefore, 6.5 inches x 1600 strokes x 2500 sex sessions = 26 million inches.
This means that the average sexually active woman will have had 410 miles (or 656 km) of cock in her before she hits the grave!  

So how's YOUR mileage??  

-"BB"-

[BoSoxGal]

Only a 60-something virgin would believe those ‘statistics’.

[Bicycle Bill]

Only a 60-something virgin would believe those ‘statistics’.

There you go again, assuming that I'm a virgin (although you're reasonably accurate on the age).
And you know what it means when you ASSUME something — you're making an ASS out of U in front of ME

-"BB"-

[BoSoxGal]

Okay Mr. sex expert, you’re not a virgin. Sorry I assumed so based on your belief that the average sex session lasts 1.2 HOURS and it takes 800 (or did you say 1600?) thrusts for the average guy to ejaculate.

Totally accurate information. (By the way, where did you cut and paste this unattributed information from?)










Bwahahaha!

[Bicycle Bill]

Okay Mr. sex expert, you’re not a virgin. Sorry I assumed so based on your belief that the average sex session lasts 1.2 HOURS and it takes 800 (or did you say 1600?) thrusts for the average guy to ejaculate.

Not everybody is a 'Two-Pump Chuck' ‒ or can only stage one performance per night.  I'm sorry if that's what you've had to put up with for so many years.

Totally accurate information. (By the way, where did you cut and paste this unattributed information from?)

Not sure.  It's on a 'calling card'-sized bit of pasteboard I came across many, many years ago, supposedly intended to be used as a 'pick-up' device or, at the best, a sleazy form of icebreaker.

A horny young stud was supposed to zero in on his objectif de la nuit and hand her this.   The only thing I changed was the final line.  On the card, the closing line was something about "if you feel that you have not been getting your fair share, the person who gave you this will be happy to help correct the situation."

I'm surprised that, while no one would probably have ever given YOU one of these, with your vast wealth of experiences both social and sexual you had not heard of or seen one before now.

-"BB"-

[Gob]

If you're spending less than an hour making love/having sex/shagging, you're doing it wrong.

[BoSoxGal]

I knew you’d come back with that BB. Very clever.

Sadly, you’re full of shit as usual. This has been studied for decades, it has nothing to do with good or bad sex.

No the world isn’t full of men who thrust for an hour before achieving ejaculation. The average is 5-7 minutes. That doesn’t mean lovemaking lasts only 5-7 minutes - good lovers engage in foreplay which includes lots of touch and oral sex etc., but no, they aren’t thrusting in and out of a vagina or anus for a full hour and 800-1600 strokes.

You could easily Google and find dozens and dozens of articles on the subject, starting with the Kinsey studies.

I’ve had lots of sex in my life. Some bad, but not a lot - don’t usually go back for more when it’s bad, although a man with a wonderful personality who treats a woman well is certainly worth the time to tutor if he’s unselfish and eager to learn. I’ve had a few really excellent lovers, young with lots of staying power and ability to go over and over, and older with staying power who makes one session more than enough to satisfy. However, even lovers like that don’t thrust for 800-1600 strokes and continuously for an hour. Only someone whose knowledge of sex is based on VHS and now internet porn would even for a moment think that’s average.

Do carry on with the personal insults, I know you can’t help yourself. All that rage and pent up frustration over a life without sex, good or bad. And not having anybody who could stand to spend time with you. That has to hurt and it’s textbook that you’d direct your hostility at women, especially one with the temerity to challenge you.

[BoSoxGal]

Here’s an article from a men’s magazine on the subject, to get you started. As I mentioned, there are dozens more you can look up. Or read Kinsey.

I won’t expect any apology or crow eating, since you can never admit you’re wrong even when you are, utterly. Not man enough, I guess.

Thank You, Doctors: The Average Sex Time Is Not as Long as You'd Think

Some scientific guidelines on what we should be shooting for.

By Stacey Grenrock Woods Feb 27, 2017 - Esquire

Yes, it does seem as if everyone at the all-boys high school and the methadone clinic is complaining of little else. I know what you're thinking: If only we had the perceptions of 34 Canadian and American sex therapists on this. Well, good thing we do.

According to a 2008 study "Canadian and American Sex Therapists' Perceptions of Normal and Abnormal Ejaculatory Latencies: How Long Should Intercourse Last?" coitus considered "adequate" lasted anywhere from three to seven minutes, not including the Pledge of Allegiance. For the more ambitious, seven to 13 minutes was considered a "desirable" length for intercourse. This data, from all the people who see therapists for sexual problems, corresponds closely to earlier studies, which put the average at five to seven minutes. (We can safely blame the two-minute discrepancy on the Canadians.)

Coitus considered "adequate" lasts anywhere from three to seven minutes, not including the Pledge of Allegiance.

Statistically speaking, a 2005 study found that sex lasts 5.4 minutes on average, although that data does not take into account foreplay, female orgasm, or non-heterosexual pairings. For historical perspective, Alfred Kinsey's 1948 research found that 75 percent of American men ejaculated within the first two minutes of sex. Progress.

"Very few people have intercourse per se [Latin] that goes longer than 12 minutes," says sex therapist Barry W. McCarthy. Essentially, ejaculatory inhibition, which is also called "delayed orgasm" or "junkie orgasm," has less to do with actual time than an inability to ejaculate when you'd like. And premature ejaculation, which is also called "rapid ejaculation," refers to intercourse that lasts less than a minute or two.

McCarthy says you can slow things down by honing your technique through what he calls "nonintercourse sex" (what the rest of us call "jerking off"). You also might want to try switching positions and varying the speed and pattern of your thrusts, and then you might attain the required 18-minute minimum no legitimately normal person ever fails to meet.

Thank You, Doctors: The Average Sex Time Is Not as Long as You'd Think

[BoSoxGal]

As an afterthought, I’m not sure which is sadder - that you believed this nonsense on the ‘introductory’ card you have, or that you’ve held on to it. Were you planning to use it someday? If so it says a lot about why you don’t and never have had a serious intimate relationship with a female of the species.

If you weren’t such a nasty cocksucker to me on a regular basis, I’d actually feel sorry for you.

[BoSoxGal]

A foot-long would almost double her mileage.....

According to statistics the average female will have five sexual partners in her life.  The average rate of sex is about twice per week, and usually tapers off to 0.5 times per week after age 40.  That works out to be 100 sex sessions annually.

Now, here comes the math.

From age 18 to age 40, there's 22 years.  100 sex sessions x 22 years = 2200 times.   WOW !! 
— but now we'll add another 300 times for age 40 - 80. This works out to become a total of 2500 sex sessions in a lifetime.

We can also work out the duration, since the average sex session lasts about 1.2 hours.  Therefore, 2500 x 1.2 = 3000 hours! 
This means that one spends almost 125 continuous days — or about 1/3 of a year — with 'penis inside pussy'!!

Now statistics reveal that the average cock is 6.5 inches long, and each fuck session consists of roughly 800 in-out strokes. Therefore, 6.5 inches x 1600 strokes x 2500 sex sessions = 26 million inches.
This means that the average sexually active woman will have had 410 miles (or 656 km) of cock in her before she hits the grave!  

So how's YOUR mileage??  

-"BB"-

Just saving this for posterity so you don’t decide to change the terms in light of facts presented.

[BoSoxGal]

Just a final note of education for you, BB, in case you ever get a chance IRL to test your theories on sex.

The average woman has zero interest in being pounded continuously for an hour. In fact, if you have anything more than a micropenis, this will usually end up hurting her because natural lubricant won’t last that long. Even if you brought some KY to the party, she’d be bored out of her fucking mind by you pounding pounding pounding for a fucking HOUR before getting off. If she didn’t just push you off and tell you to go jack yourself, she’d be thinking the whole time what a selfish asshole you are - because if you’re pounding pounding pounding that pussy for an hour, using Viagra or Cialis or whatever other fakery would be necessary to stave off normal, natural ejaculation for that long, you ain’t making love to her, you’re using her as a cum receptacle while you make love to yourself.

I know you’re going to be tempted to dismiss this advice because it comes from me, but I urge you to rise above your hatred for me and your junior high school conceptions of what good sex is supposed to be about. And you might want to do a little research into the myth of the vaginal orgasm so you really understand why women don’t fantasize about being pounded for an hour.

[Gob]

Someone's not getting any, obvs..

[BoSoxGal]

Typical juvenile response - and utterly predictable coming from you.

[Bicycle Bill]

As an afterthought, I’m not sure which is sadder - that you believed this nonsense on the ‘introductory’ card you have, or that you’ve held on to it. Were you planning to use it someday?

I saved it because I thought it was humorous, and because it doesn't take up a lot of space lying on the bottom of my jewelry box — where I also keep my cuff links, tie clips, various signet/class/organizational rings and regalia, other small bits of memorabilia from my past life... and my spare set of car keys.

I also have an Italian cornicello on a chain because I think it looks good on me on those few times I choose to wear it, not necessarily because I believe it will protect me from the "evil eye" (although if the truth be told, it's actually because the cycling character in "Breaking Away" wore one, but I still think I also wear it well).  But by all means, go ahead and make something out of that too.

Thank you also for all the statistics and references, most of which I see are from within the past 20 years.  You DO realize, though, that this card originally came into my possession sometime during the Nixon-Ford era, and it WAS  intended to be humorous, not necessarily accurate?  Maybe you should spend less time puffing on your spliff with your heels hooked over your ears, comparing orgasms and counting/timing penile thrusts, and take yourself in for a sense-of-humor tune-up instead.

Lastly, I resent the inference that I would at some point go back and try to modify the original post ("Just saving this for posterity so you don’t decide to change the terms in light of facts presented.").  Any time I have modified/edited/altered one of my posts it has been to correct a spelling or grammatical error or — as I am doing now — to add additional information to the original so as to confine it to a single post instead of hitting the 'submit' button like it was a telegraph key and generating a string of posts, not to rewrite the 'facts'.

-"BB"-

[BoSoxGal]

The Kinseys did their research well before Nixon, so try again.

The truth is that your card with its pick up line (?) reflects the same ridiculous school boy braggadocio attitudes and boasts about sex that have existed since the first insecure male started dragging his knuckles after a female.

It’s okay to just say you’re wrong. Women find that capacity wildly attractive in a man, in fact. Just a little tip for when you start playing the field in retirement, hitting up the ladies on the Amtrak tours.