Bring on your Dad jokes

Got jokes? Funny images? Your tales of disaster? Youtube links?
Post them and share them.
Let the world laugh with you, (more fun if it's at you!)
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TPFKA@W
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Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

Why shouldn't you date math teachers?

Because they have a lot of problems and expect other people to find the solutions.

How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Ideally three, but Toucan.

A Spanish magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then POOF he disappeared without a tres.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
A barberqueue.

I thought of a carpentry joke.
I just wasn't sure if it woodwork.

How do you turn six to nine?
Remove the "s".

I've just released my own fragrance.
But nobody in the bus seems to like it.

So I was at this bar last night when the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "Hell, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed, well except this one guy.

Cheese is just a loaf of milk.
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

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eddieq
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by eddieq »

I saw a character in a tv show wearing this shirt
tacoeclipse.png
And I said, "It's a taco eclipse of the heart". It was dad joke gold. Nobody reacted.

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TPFKA@W
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

:lol: :ok
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

Burning Petard
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Burning Petard »

Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? That was no ladle, that was my knife.

With a tip of the hat to the batboys and Walt Kelly.

snailgate

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TPFKA@W
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, "Sorry, my fault."
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

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eddieq
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by eddieq »

A number of years ago when the kids were small, Xena was doing dog things. She came over to me, shoved her face in my crotch and then backed up and sneezed. I said, "I guess she has a nut allergy". To her credit, my wife broke up laughing. The kids were oblivious.

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Econoline
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Econoline »

If I had a DeLorean...
I would probably only drive it from time to time.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Joe Guy
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Joe Guy »

What do you call a dehydrated Frenchman?

Pierre.

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Econoline
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Econoline »

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

ex-khobar Andy
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Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018

Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

:funee:

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TPFKA@W
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

ketchup.jpg
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

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Econoline
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Econoline »

Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?

They just want to help you become a groan up.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Econoline
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Econoline »

You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

European.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Econoline
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Econoline »

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines...but catscan.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Econoline wrote:
Fri Mar 26, 2021 4:45 am
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines...but catscan.
But can the cats perform Lab tests?
Image
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

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Sue U
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by Sue U »

Bicycle Bill wrote:
Fri Mar 26, 2021 4:58 am
Econoline wrote:
Fri Mar 26, 2021 4:45 am
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines...but catscan.
But can the cats perform Lab tests?
Image
-"BB"-
What about a PET scan?
GAH!

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eddieq
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by eddieq »

My nose was running. My wife thought it was funny but it's snot.

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TPFKA@W
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

What works faster than a calculator? A calcu-now.
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

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TPFKA@W
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by TPFKA@W »

Woke up this morning with a stir fry on my pillow.
Think I was sleepwoking again.
"you’re a miserable bitch and I won’t feel one moment of sadness if the news one day is that you’ve gotten COVID19 from work and died of it." ~BSG

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eddieq
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Re: Bring on your Dad jokes

Post by eddieq »

8E97CE2F-1448-4BFA-BD25-E869CD4C8EC5.jpeg

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