At the Funeral

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Plethora," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a lot."

-"BB"-

[Gob]

Ouch!!

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Bargain," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a great deal."

-"BB"-

[Gob]

Ouch x 2.

[ex-khobar Andy]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Blowjob," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "he would have enjoyed that."

[Gob]

OFFS!!

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Watertunnel," and sits back down.

"It's okay," the woman says, "I know you meant well."

-"BB"-

[Joe Guy]

Meanwhile, at a school down the street from the funeral:

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class. The boy said, "I should be in the 4th Grade. I am smarter than my sister and she's in the 4th Grade".

The teacher had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal moved the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The teacher decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Teacher: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Teacher: What is in your trousers that I don't have?

Boy: Pockets.

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Teacher: What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

Boy: Bubble gum.

Teacher: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent.

The principal was looking restless.

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: OH MY GOD!!

Teacher: What starts with 'F' and ends with a 'K' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Teacher: What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Eeeep!

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Aaaargh!

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this boy to the university. I got all the answers wrong!"

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Cavernous," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "that's very deep."

-"BB"-

[Gob]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  

Not at her living husband's funeral then?

[ex-khobar Andy]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  

Not at her living husband's funeral then?

A woman is sitting at her living husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Premature," and sits back down.

"No," the woman says, "that's too soon."

[Joe Guy]

A widowed woman is sitting at her dead husband's funeral celebration. A male man leans way too near to her and asks questionably, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead and say something now if you'd like to speak," the widowed woman with the dead husband replies.

The man gets out of his chair and stands up, coughs and clears his throat, and says "Redundant," and sits back down on his chair where he had been sitting prior to standing.

"Thanks very very much," the woman vocally says to man with her voice, "that was much more than necessary."

[Crackpot]

Boooo Hiss! Weak.

I expected better from You Joe.

[Joe Guy]

How about the man stands up and says, “He and his wife here had a great bakery business. In fact, I have in my possession the very last loaf of bread they made together”. Then he sits down.

“Thanks”, the woman says , “I kneaded that.”

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Globe," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "that means the world to me."

-"BB"-

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a few words?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Staying Alive," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "he would've liked that."

-"BB"-

[Bicycle Bill]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral.  A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a few words?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "I can't tell you how much that means to me."

-"BB"-

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-