You cannot get there from here.

[Gob]

Well you can, but...

I live a short walk from a very nice beach, accessible only by foot. I just wrote this up for the local Facebook page.



A conversation I have had three times in the last fortnight.

Walk out of my house to find a car containing 5 people attempting a 63 point turn in our courtyard.

Him: "There's no parking here is there?"
Me: "Sorry mate, no, residents only"
Him: "Where can I park?"
Me: "If you drive down the lane, (sotto voce "just past the sign which reads "PRIVATE LANE, NO UNAUTHORISED ACCESS") there's a layby on the main road."
Him: "That's a fair way. Can I not drive through here?"
Me: "It's a dead end mate, where you heading"
Him: "Nanjizal"
Me: "There's no way to drive to Nanjizal, you have to walk there."
Him: "Walk!" (Said in a tone which indicates I may as well have said "grow wings and fly there.")
Me: "Yep, it's about a mile, mile and a half at most"
Him: "You're kidding"? (looking at me as if he expects me to say; "OK, I'm kidding, it's just past that the hedge, about 20 yards away, right there.")
Me: "It's a lovely easy flat walk, apart from the steep hill at the end. How did you find out about it?"
Him: (Shows me an article on his phone "10 best secret beaches in England")
Me: (Reading aloud,) "Nice beach/30 minutes walk from Trevescan/no vehicles/steep hill. Yes, that's Nanjizal."
Him: "So I can't drive there?"
Me: "Nope, sorry"
Him: Drives off never to be seen again.

I suppose if I wanted to be cruel I could have told him that there's no ice-cream van, pub, amusement arcade, café, donkey rides, and half the year there's no bloody sand either.

[Long Run]

Seems to be a tourist requirement to drop off their common sense before getting in the car.

[Gob]

Agreed.

[Joe Guy]

Are you sure you can't drive there?

[TPFKA@W]

I am quite sure you can drive there. It would be a bit bumpy though I expect. I vote you stop giving practical advice and let the games begin. Then photograph the interesting results and report back here.

[Big RR]

I'd be a bit wary about that; they'll know where he lives and can come back to repay the "kindness".

[TPFKA@W]

I doubt they would be in any sort of condition to make a comeback payback. Unless it was in zombie form.

[eddieq]

Everybody - and I mean everybody, thinks that these kinds of signs or warnings don't apply to them. I can be at a traffic control due to an accident or a fire, cones, flares, fire trucks, road closed signs - all clearly visible. I am standing there in bright yellow directing people to turn. Every time, I get someone who stops, calls me over, and says, "Can I go that way?" "No sir, you cannot." "But, I need to go that way" "Do you live in this block?" "No, I just don't want to go around".