I think I like #7 the best. And #10.Dave’s top 10 funniest jokes of the Fringe festival 2022. [The award is named the Dave. I have no idea why. The percentage after each is the jury's score.]
1. I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta – Masai Graham (52%)
2. Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next day delivery? – Mark Simmons (37%)
3. My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock – Olaf Falafel (36%)
4. By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I, but it is the same house and the same family – Hannah Fairweather (35%)
5. I hate funerals. I’m not a mourning person – Will Mars (34%)
6. I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back – Olaf Falafel (33%)
7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford (29%)
8. I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery – Tim Vine (28%)
9. Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker (27%)
10. I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days – Will Duggan (25%)
Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
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Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
As reported in the Guardian.
Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Is #7 funny because FedEx is slow?
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
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Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Break it down to a sentence: Fed Ex. Fed is a verb, Ex is a noun. It took me a few seconds and I am not sure I would have got it if I had heard it as part of a routine.
#6 is good too.
#6 is good too.
Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Prime examples of the dire state of current UK "comedy".
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Doh!ex-khobar Andy wrote: ↑Mon Aug 22, 2022 8:01 amBreak it down to a sentence: Fed Ex. Fed is a verb, Ex is a noun. It took me a few seconds and I am not sure I would have got it if I had heard it as part of a routine.
#6 is good too.
Thanks very much!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford (29%)
Well, good. I was trying to figure out why anyone would want to send a food parcel to their ex-wife. Laced with poison? I dunno. Mine's still dead, just like Generalisimo Francisco Franco. No FedEx involved.
"Prime examples of the dire state of current UK "comedy"?"
Agreed.
Well, good. I was trying to figure out why anyone would want to send a food parcel to their ex-wife. Laced with poison? I dunno. Mine's still dead, just like Generalisimo Francisco Franco. No FedEx involved.
"Prime examples of the dire state of current UK "comedy"?"
Agreed.
A friend of Doc's, one of only two B-29 bombers still flying.
Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Dire? I don’t know; these three made me chuckle out loud - a rare occasion.MGMcAnick wrote: ↑Tue Aug 23, 2022 10:10 pm7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford (29%)
Well, good. I was trying to figure out why anyone would want to send a food parcel to their ex-wife. Laced with poison? I dunno. Mine's still dead, just like Generalisimo Francisco Franco. No FedEx involved.
"Prime examples of the dire state of current UK "comedy"?"
Agreed.
3. My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock – Olaf Falafel (36%)
9. Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker (27%)
10. I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days – Will Duggan (25%)
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
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Re: Funniest one liners from this year's Edinburgh festival
Re: threesomes, and why most women don't seem to care for them.9. Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker (27%)
If the configuration is FFM, unless both women are truly bisexual one of them almost always spends a lot of time waiting for her turn. And of course, there ain't one man in a hundred who can properly satisfy two women at once.
And because of male ego, pride, and maybe a certain amount of innate jealousy ('Why am I letting that other SOB bang my gal?'), a MMF three-way is like a home-made rocket ship — apt to blow up and scorch you badly. But from the woman's POV, if it holds together, it's totally worth the risk.
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?