Plan B Forum

Dave’s top 10 funniest jokes of the Fringe festival 2022. [The award is named the Dave. I have no idea why. The percentage after each is the jury's score.]
1. I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta – Masai Graham (52%)

2. Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next day delivery? – Mark Simmons (37%)

3. My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock – Olaf Falafel (36%)

4. By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I, but it is the same house and the same family – Hannah Fairweather (35%)

5. I hate funerals. I’m not a mourning person – Will Mars (34%)

6. I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back – Olaf Falafel (33%)

7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford (29%)

8. I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery – Tim Vine (28%)

9. Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker (27%)

10. I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days – Will Duggan (25%)

ex-khobar Andy wrote: ↑

Mon Aug 22, 2022 8:01 am

Break it down to a sentence: Fed Ex. Fed is a verb, Ex is a noun. It took me a few seconds and I am not sure I would have got it if I had heard it as part of a routine.

#6 is good too.

MGMcAnick wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 23, 2022 10:10 pm

7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford (29%)

Well, good. I was trying to figure out why anyone would want to send a food parcel to their ex-wife. Laced with poison? I dunno. Mine's still dead, just like Generalisimo Francisco Franco. No FedEx involved.

"Prime examples of the dire state of current UK "comedy"?"

Agreed.

9. Don’t knock threesomes.  Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker (27%)