It's Good Friday, Friday, Friday

[The Hen]

What's this, what's this, what's this?

Hen stands with her head slightly bowed and both arms straight out horizontal to the ground.








A hell of a way to spend Easter.




Boom tish.


Thank you very much. I'll be here all weekend.

[The Hen]

MEMORANDUM
TO: Jesus, Son of Joseph.
          Woodcrafters shop.
          Nazareth.

FROM: Jordan Management Consultants.
             Jerusalem.

SUBJECT: Staff Aptitude Test.

DATE: May 22/30
 
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the 12 men you
picked for management positions in your new organization.
All of them have now taken our battery of tests, and we have
not only run the results through our computer but also have
arranged personal interviews for each of them with our
psychologist and vocational consultant.
 
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are
lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for
the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have
the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your
search for persons of experience in managerial ability and
proven capability.
 
Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of
temper.
Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.
The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place
personal interest above company loyalty.
Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine
morale.

We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has
been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business
Bureau.
James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely
have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score
on the manic depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is
a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has
a keen business mind and has contact in high places. He is
highly motivated, ambitious and innovative. We recommend
Judas Iscariot as your controller and right hand man. All
other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new venture.

[The Hen]

Fish for Lent
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood.  On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill.  Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper.   This went on each Friday of Lent.  On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John.  He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore.  They decided to try and convert John to become a Catholic.  They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic.  They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are Catholic."  The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.

The next year's Lenten season rolled around.  The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was setting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill.  The neighborhood men could not believe their noses!  WHAT WAS GOING ON?   They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent.  The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water.  He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish."

[Timster]

ROTFLMFAO! Classic!

[@meric@nwom@n]

[The Hen]

To all of you Ed's out there, (and yes I DO mean YOU Ed).