20 years together and the wife still gets upset if I use her toothbrush.
So if anyone knows another way to get dog shit out of trainers I am all ears...
My mate’s missus left him last thursday; she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said; "Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff"
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said; "Is this your wife sir?".
Shocked I answered; " Yes".
They said; "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus".
I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality."
After both suffering depression for a while me and the wife were going to commit joint suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she went first killed herself I started to feel a lot better, so I thought what the heck soldier on..!
Love and marraige...
Love and marraige...
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Love and marraige...
Try telling those jokes to this guy..
He fell in love with his first wife because she was sincere and eager to please.
His second wife, a cousin, was irresistible because she did everything he wished and nothing he didn't.
"That alone made me love her."
His third wife won him because she submitted to his every request.
"I saw her, I liked her. I went to her parents and asked for her hand in marriage."
Wife No. 4 was very obedient.
So was wife No. 5.
Wife No. 6, the same.
As were wives 7 and 8 and 9 and ...
Well, by then - it was the late 1980s - things had taken off for Bello Maasaba, an Islamic faith healer from this city in Niger state.
He went from a wedding every few months to one every few weeks.
All told, the 87-year-old has married 107 women, which, even in a society with a tradition of polygamy, is on the high side.
The Nigerian government is not amused.
Neither are Islamic authorities in the state.
But he's still marrying, every time Miss Right comes along.
He now has 86 wives, the youngest 19 and the oldest 64.
Nine have died and 12 he divorced (for disobedience).
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/world/married-to- ... z1MDIxz0fZ
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”