Plan B Forum

Rookie Nudist Uses Binder Ring on His Cock, Dodges Jail Time


By Erin SherbertFri., Feb. 8 2013 at 2:20 PM



That doesn't belong on your dick

Apparently, there is a way to be godawful at public nudity.

A San Francisco man and wannabe nudist was cleared of indecent exposure after a sympathetic jury decided his only crime was trying too hard to fit in with the Castro nudists.

According to the Public Defender's Office, 48-year-old Richard Sierra decided one cold November day -- for the first time ever -- to join the local "urban nudism" movement.

However, being a novice nudist, Sierra felt a bit self-conscious completely disrobing. So instead he compromised with himself (and subsequently the public), by pulling his pants down to his knees and yanking his tank top to just above his genitals. That way nobody would see his hidden scars on his stomach.

Then came the "cock ring."

Sierra noticed many of the longtime Castro nudists were showing off cock rings -- and he wanted one, too. Sierra came up with a quick fix and placed on his penis the only thing he could find: a metal ring from a binder.

Alas, there is a way to make public nudity seem even more foolish.

According to the Public Defender's Office:

He attached it to his shirt and looped it around his penis to ensure his scars were covered. Sierra stood in front of Citibank on Castro Street, his genitals exposed. Meanwhile, a 53-year-old man walking his dog saw Sierra arranging his genitals and flagged down two police officers on bicycles. The dog walker reported that Sierra appeared to be masturbating with personal lubricant.

Police officers interviewed Sierra, who denied masturbating. He told them that he wanted to be just like the "naked guys," but was too shy to embrace total nudity (which makes him totally unlike the naked guys). Sierra was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

During his three-day trial, Sierra testified that he was not touching himself for sexual gratification and that he did not have personal lubricant, only a prescription cream for his chronic eczema. However, he didn't rub the cream on his genitals. He said he had no intention of wasting the medication, pointing out that it costs him $100 a pop, according to the Public Defender's Office.

It's worth noting that the cops did not book any of Sierra's items into evidence, nor did they attempt to collect any cell phone photographs taken by witnesses. Rusty Mills, an expert nudist and an expert witness in the case testified, giving the jury a little insight about why cock rings are used outside of sex.

Jurors deliberated one day before deciding Sierra wasn't guilty. After the verdict was read, Sierra reportedly "wept with relief," which makes sense considering he was facing a maximum of one year in jail and lifetime registration as a sex offender.

Now that this is over, Sierra is undoubtedly looking for a new hobby.