Plan B Forum

The gags are flowing thick and fast on social media after it was announced that Watson and three other members of Australia's floundering cricketing team - Mitchell Johnson, James Pattinson and Usman Khawaja - would be stood down for Thursday's third Test for a breach of team discipline.


The quartet had failed to complete written "homework", set by head coach Mickey Arthur, to deliver a presentation, by email or in person, on what they brought to the team in the wake of last week's embarrassing defeat in Hyderabad.



The move was supported by Australian captain Michael "Pup" Clarke, but has become a laughing stock on social media, where the homework debacle has been given the online spoofing treatment.

No longer the baggy greens, Australia's cricketers are being portrayed to as the saggy greens.



In one image doing the rounds, Shane Watson is pictured sitting despondently at a desk in a school uniform, grasping a pencil with his head in his hands.

"Homework due Saturday," says a note on the blackboard behind him.

Bart Simpson's famous blackboard gag, which features in the opening credits of each show, has been altered to repeatedly say: "I will not question Michael Clarke's authority".

Also creating debate online is what form the cricketer's homework was meant to have taken. Were they meant to do a speech? Maybe a PowerPoint presentation?

"Clearly only one man can save Australian cricket... Robert Gaskins, the inventor of Microsoft Powerpoint," tweeted David Tossell (@David-Tossell).

Former England skipper Michael Vaughan tweeted an image of a man he described as "Australia's new number 3": Bill Gates.



The billionaire Microsoft founder is shown pointing to a screen which says: "Why I Should Be The Australian Cricket Team's Powerpoint Coach".

Poor Shane Watson has already copped it in the English press, where former English swing bowler Matthew Hoggard said he wasn't the "sharpest tool in the shed".

"Getting him to write things out and put them in front of the coach is not going to be his strong point," he told the BBC.



One Twitter user, Luke Salmon ‏(@aussalmon), has gone further, claiming Watson was dropped for submitting as his PowerPoint presentation a photograph of a power point.



An imaginary letter said to have been written by Johnson in messy schoolboy scrawl is also doing the rounds on Twitter.

"Dear Mick, I reckon we need 2 Fix 3 Fings. 1. Make sum more Runz," it begins.

Perhaps the quartet should have looked to cricketing heroes of yesteryear for some guidance and inspiration, tweeted Channel Nine reporter Tom Steinfort (@tomsteinfort).

"David Boon has released his own PowerPoint presentation, showing what the Australian cricket team needs to improve," he tweeted, alongside an image of cans of VB beer.

London's Daily Mail, licking its lips at the prospect of an Ashes showdown this year, has done its own homework. "Check out our three-point presentation, Mickey," it reads.



Alongside three images of Shane Watson, Peter Siddle and Mitchell Johnson is the caption: "Can't bat ... Can't bowl ... Can't catch!"

Australian coach Mickey Arthur says "back-chat" and "giving attitude" had become an unacceptable part of the Test team culture, leading to his decision to stand down four players for the third Test in Mohali.

Arthur has outlined in his latest blog on the Cricket Australia website the other indiscretions which led to his unprecedented decision to axe Shane Watson, James Pattinson, Mitchell Johnson and Usman Khawaja for not submitting requested feedback after Australia's humiliating defeat in the second Test.

High performance manager Pat Howard refused to divulge what the other behavioural issues were when he addressed the media on Tuesday.

Arthur hasn't named names, but offered detail on the culture problems in his blog.

"Being late for a meeting, high skinfolds, wearing the wrong attire, back-chat or giving attitude are just some examples of these behavioural issues that have been addressed discretely but continue to happen," Arthur wrote.

"If we're deadly serious about getting back to number one in the world, all players need to raise the bar and lift their game.

"If not, we must be content at being number three or four or five in world cricket because we won't get any better. The players won't learn and we'll continue a vicious cycle.

"Let's be absolutely clear.

"The decision to suspend Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson, James Pattinson and Usman Khawaja for not adhering to a team request is the defining moment, but it has been a culmination of lots of small minor indiscretions that have built up to now."

"Being late for a meeting, high skinfolds, wearing the wrong attire, back-chat or giving attitude are just some examples of these behavioural issues that have been addressed discretely but continue to happen,"