Would you shop your kid?

[Gob]

Your teenage son or daughter comes home with ill-gotten gains from the recent looting and you catch them red-handed. So do you hand your own offspring over to the police?

It's a moral dilemma no parent wants to confront for real.

The idea that your child is involved in events that shocked you and a nation is hard enough, but then you've got to decide what to do about it.

For some, choosing whether to hand your child into the police depends entirely on the severity of the crime. Parents have to weigh up the damage a criminal record might have on their child's future prospects - not to mention the strain on their relationship.

Others are unequivocal. Children have to learn to face the consequences of their actions, regardless of the anguish that might cause.

Speaking through her tears, Adrienne Ives explained why she turned in her 18-year-old daughter Chelsea after seeing pictures of her allegedly rioting on the TV news.

"I just hope that other people find that courage. I just done what I felt was right."

Chelsea Ives, an Olympics ambassador, denies violent disorder, attacking a police car and two counts of burglary.

On Friday, two boys aged 15 and 14 were handed in by their mothers after they were allegedly pictured taking part in riots in Salford, Manchester.

A judge on Saturday praised the parents of the 14-year-old, telling the court: "I only wish more parents took their responsibilities as seriously."

Police in Manchester, who have set up "shop a looter" boards, described the actions of the 15-year-old's mother as "extremely admirable" and thanked her for handing him in.

While some of the looters and rioters now in custody were shopped by parents who simply suspected their children were involved, many more were turned in once suspects' pictures were posted on mobile screens and advertising vans. In that situation, parents may have felt it was better they acted first rather than wait for the knock on their front door.

For Margaret Morrissey, founder of campaign and support group Parents Out Loud, there is no question that any parent who took such action did the right thing.

"Sometimes love's got to be very tough and tough love does help," said the mother-of-two.

"It's saying... we will support you, but this is what happens if you do something that is morally and criminally wrong to society.

"It means not that I care for you any less, it means probably that I care for you more."

She admitted it would cause "incredible heartache" and distress, but "to preserve society for you and your children, you have to pay the price".

But writer, campaigner and parent Toby Young, who is setting up one of the UK's first free schools, disagreed.

Asked whether he would turn in his children, he told the BBC: "I think it depends on the severity of the crime. Murder, yes, obviously.

"Looting? If my child was guilty of taking something from a shop that had been broken into, probably not.

"You'd have to weigh up the wrongness of what they'd done against the damage it could do to their future employment prospects.

"If it was the first time they'd broken the law and they got caught up in the heat of the moment and weren't themselves, then it might be overzealous to frogmarch them into a police station."

He said he would nevertheless insist they pay the shopkeeper back in full - "albeit anonymously".

People discussing the issue on online forums appear more in favour than not of handing their children in, but there were warning voices too.

One writes: "I would deal my own punishment. Wouldn't want to mess any future chances for my child by them possibly having a criminal conviction.

"Love the way everyone says 'yes', but in the real world would you really?"

Another points out the perils of having to disclose a criminal record for five years or more.

Would I? I'd like to think yes. But, if the Hatch were to do something so utterly, utterly, out of character as stealing or looting or rioting, I think my first resort would be a mental health assessment. Seriously.

[The Hen]

Would i shop the Hatch? I'd have her turn herself in, thereby relieving me of the need to shop.

If she refused to turn herself in, then I would shop her.

[dales]

YES, having my older daughter involved "on the wrong side of the law" from age 15 to 19 the only thing that woke her up was a short stint in ADULT JAIL (drugs/assult).

She was in the juvenile system for years (made a ward of the court) and she thought it a joke at the time.

No more Juvie for you, kiddo!

That was 10+ years ago and it was hell on earth for myself and family, she needed to learn a lesson!

[SisterMaryFellatio]

Yep, Pudd would be frog marched to the nearest cop shop along with his ill gotten gains!

[Jarlaxle]

They tried that on my brother. He cold-cocked his father and took off after taking a shit in the driveway.

[rubato]

My first 'object lesson' in personal responsibility was at 4-6 yrs old being hauled by the collar around the block to the neighbor's behind us for accidentally breaking their clothesline.

(we were doing experiments making 'standing waves' along the wires and discovered something about metal fatigue instead)

yrs,
rubato

[loCAtek]

Yup, the foster-kid was caught on camera vandalizing cars, and the Ex and I let him be cuffed and hauled away. If/Whenever he caused property damage, we made him repair it personally, or work to pay off the costs.

[Gimcrack]

Damned right I would. We have law enforcement relatives and they have told TheKid that even were I to ignore misbehavior, they would not.

She has a few friends that have been banned from local stores due to shoplifting, a few others who have spent time in our fair juvie facility. They're all welcome in my home, with restrictions. No kiped stuff in my home. If you're doing illicit drugs, do it elsewhere - not on my property. Drugs are also not welcome in my house. It's kinda cute seeing guys hem and haw about bringing in their backpacks, especially if it's raining.

[loCAtek]

Attention parents, turn in your kids;

Maryland Flash Mob

[The Hen]

Mother forces 'thief' son into parade of shame



A MOTHER made her child sit in public with a sign pinned to his shirt that said: "Do not trust me. I will steal from you as I am a thief."
The boy, thought to be aged about 10, was also wearing Shrek ears and writing lines in what appeared to a form of public punishment, according to dozens of witnesses who contacted the Townsville Bulletin.

The boy spent almost an hour on Sunday near a popular waterpark in Townsville while his family ate lunch nearby, The Daily Telegraph reported.

Diane Mayers was so "horrified" when she saw the boy she contacted Child Safety Services to intervene.

Ms Mayers, who worked with the department in the past, said any long-term effects of public humiliation would have been much worse than physical abuse.

"The boy just kept his head down and was staring at the ground," she said. "The parents had gone to all the trouble of printing two copies of the sign - one for the back and one for the front - and laminating them. A lot of work had gone in to it.

"A lot of people walked past and were laughing at him, including boys who would have been his age.

"At one point the boy had taken off the Shrek ears. My daughter walked past and heard the mother say, 'Put them back on or I'll smack your head in'."

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national/mother- ... z1VocNKsJh

[Gob]

I bet the little fucker won't steal again.

[The Hen]

Or ... he will end up running away from home.

Or ... he will divorce his parents.

[BoSoxGal]

Every day in juvenile & adult court I deal with the fallout of incompetent parenting.

The woman who was so horrified by this boy's humiliation - how would she 'handle' her child in similar straights? Take away the Wii for a day? Oh, the horror!

Slap the hand for such behavior & more of the same is invited. I agree with Gob; when this kind of parenting is outlawed as 'abusive', we will all pay the price.

There is something to be said for shaming. Shame DOES feel awful, which is why doing it serves to motivate a child to avoid future shaming by refraining from the behavior that would bring it on.

[loCAtek]

How about enforcing positive behavior, before the child 'acts out' in response to negative overload? Too much effort to do that?

[The Hen]

There are too many parents who place 'friendship' with their child before their responsibility as a parent.

It is NECESSARY to be the tough guy in the relationship., and it is the role of the parent and no-one else.

[dales]

Children and their parents are NOT friends!

My two adult daughters are NOT my friends, they are my daughters!

[Jarlaxle]

Or ... he will end up running away from home.

Or ... he will divorce his parents.

Or...he'll come home with a gallon of petrol & a lighter and torch the place.
Or...he'll step in front of a bus and ruin four lives (his, his parents', and the driver's).
Or...he'll start hitting the drugs.

[dales]

Or he'll enter into the polical arena.

the horror, the horror...

[The Hen]

You win Dales!