Grannies, warm, cuddly, lovely...

[Gob]

A grandmother faces eviction from her home after waging a 12-year campaign of harassment against her neighbours during which she made their lives a 'living hell'.




Joan Nisbet, 71, sprayed weedkiller in a woman's face, blared gangster rap music, took part in naked sex acts and drove one neighbour to the brink of suicide.

In an unprecedented move, Croydon Council in Surrey have applied to place a closure order on her home in Kenley - a procedure normally used for shutting down drug dens.

During her 12-year campaign, she:

Sprayed weedkiller into the face of neighbour Lorraine Crowley, 55, and threw a pot of paint over 47-year-old Maria Bignell;
Blared music from gangsta rap group NWA, along with Eminem and Queen songs into the early hours;
Took part in sex acts with a boyfriend in the garden, forcing Maria and husband Mark into building a 7ft 6in fence.
Threatened to kill Mrs Bignell's children.
Drove Mrs Crowley's husband, Paul, to the verge of taking his own life.

In September, she was hit with a suspended jail sentence and a restraining order – but was hauled back in front of judges after she viciously mocked Mr Crowley for trying to commit suicide.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z1u2xe1vP9

[The Hen]

Some people are just born not nice.

I seriously doubt her behaviour was any better younger.

[MajGenl.Meade]

took part in naked sex acts

Oh that's not just gross it's criminal

[Jarlaxle]

I could have driven HER around the bend. Let's see...

She sprays weed killer on me...well, she does that, I break her jaw. If I manage to control myself and NOT break her jaw, I might "accidentally" give her a face full of wasp killer, or possibly engine degreaser.
She blares rap...I put They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha! or It's A Small World on a constant loop and go to dinner.
She fucks in public...I take pictures and post them on the internet...along with her name and address.

Also, I might do things like...
Get an old Lawn-Boy 2-stroke lawnmower, go rich on the oil mix, and make her house smell like burned oil for a few hours.
Uncap the headers on my Gremlin and run up the engine a few times...4000RPM and open pipes will make the ground shake!
Get a big spotlight, aim it at her house, and rig it to flash all night at random intervals. (Liz wears a sleep mask, I can sleep through anything.)
Come winter, plow all the snow from my driveway in front of hers.

[MajGenl.Meade]

"Come winter, plow all the snow from my driveway in front of hers."

A well-known strategy in Croydon, that.

[BoSoxGal]

Jarl, please won't you be my neighbor?




Not!

[Lord Jim]

Jarl, it sounds like you've really thought this out...

thoroughly....

[Lord Jim]

"Hey! You forgot the briefcase!"

[Jarlaxle]

Jarl, please won't you be my neighbor?




Not!

Hey...don't try to drive me crazier and we'll get along just fine! I suspect you would like having me as a neighbor. I suspect you would REALLY like having my garage and workshop as a neighbor.

[Jarlaxle]

Jarl, it sounds like you've really thought this out...

thoroughly....

Not really...just stuff off the top of my head.

[BoSoxGal]

Jarl, please won't you be my neighbor?




Not!

Hey...don't try to drive me crazier and we'll get along just fine! I suspect you would like having me as a neighbor. I suspect you would REALLY like having my garage and workshop as a neighbor.

I suspect you're right.

And I'm sure I'd love chatting with Liz over coffee/tea while you fixed my wheels.

Alas . . . let me know if the road tour ever brings you to Montana!

[Jarlaxle]

Actually, she'd be in the garage with me. :p

[BoSoxGal]

Well actually, so wouldn't I; I like to learn so wherever possible I can DIY next time.

[Jarlaxle]

Also, she views coffee like you might view Marmite or Mediator viewed sanity.