Remember To Feed And Water Daily

[Timster]

My Grandmother, whom all but raised me during my 'informative years' as my mother was her foster child and had me out of wedlock; [yes the plot thickens and sickens.] was one of those old people that was placed into an elderly "care" facility due to a broken hip; and her only natural son whom had sexually abused my mother for almost fifteen years refused to help her in any way but to place her there. I was eighteen and in NO position to help or object.

I did the only thing that I could. Visit.

I remember holding in my arms this proud farm wife whom had raised 23 foster children and cared for several German POWs with love; racked with sobs about her treatment at the facility. She told me how they ignored her repeated requests to take her to the (her words) toilet.

The staff there left her to lay in, this very proud women's, her own excrement for hours on end.

I was naturally appalled. And I vowed to her that I would take care of that. [Meaning that I threatened the entire staff with a certain, slow, ugly and untimely death should I ever hear of this ever reoccurring again.

It never did.

The upshot was that she recovered and was able to go home and die peacefully from complications unrelated and surrounded by family and friends.

Now. This may not be typical. However. Aside from my own anecdotal experience? From the reports I have read; it is not Untypical leaning towards common place.

I personally lean toward the Skynard lyric: When I grow old you won't find me in an old folks home; You Got That Right!

[Timster]

Oh! And rather than edit the above; I would like to add.

For those that are keeping track of the eternal record: Cafe' dart for example.

My Grandmother was a throw away baby. Literally. Some of you may remember. It matters not. I will reiterate here.

My Grandmother was delivered by a County nurse and a Midwife. She was born with Spina bifida. For the uninitiated, that means that her spine was exposed at birth.

The County nurse diagnosed her and declared her "non viable". Rolled her into the daily newspaper and summarily dumped her into the trash. True fucking story!

Whereupon the Midwife took it upon herself, in stealth, to extract my Grandmother and see that she was raised to health.

This woman should have died then and there.

Now I realize that some here do not believe in a higher power; but WTF? Explain that to me...

[@meric@nwom@n]

Guess she was a pinkie eh?

Unreal that they would just wrap her up and throw her away.

[loCAtek]

Scooter, that's why I've never retaliated against your accusations, I understood it was probably someone, or someones, close to you who had been abusive drunks.

I'm sorry that this disease has hurt you too. I mean that, I've always thought you were an upstanding guy

[Miles]

Kindly piss off, Miles.

After considerable thought that is precisely what I intend to do.

[@meric@nwom@n]

See that's why I didn't tell Miles to piss off even in light of the fact that I found his post completely holier-than-thou insulting.

Oh well.

[loCAtek]

Because he has humility, you don't want kindness nor holiness, 'Que too bad;

[The Hen]

I realize many parents can be a right fucking pain in the arse.

I looked after my alcohlic father for a good decade before he died.

Only those amongst us who have never been a pain in the arse themselves should be able to get out of caring.

I was a pain in the arse for a number of years for my parents. In the words of someone wiser than me ...."this too shall pass".

[Gob]

It's notjust elder care either

Abuse filmed by the BBC at a Bristol residential hospital has been condemned as "shocking" by the government.

It comes after police arrested and later bailed four people over the treatment of patients with learning difficulties at Winterbourne View.

Care Services Minister Paul Burstow said he was determined to strengthen safeguards for vulnerable adults.

The care watchdog said there was an "unforgivable error of judgement" in not investigating earlier abuse claims.

During five weeks spent filming undercover, BBC Panorama's reporter captured footage of some of the hospital's most vulnerable patients being repeatedly pinned down, slapped, dragged into showers while fully clothed, taunted and teased.

NHS South West said it had been "appalled" by the issues raised.

The hospital's owners, Castlebeck, have apologised and suspended 13 employees.

Avon and Somerset police confirmed three men - aged 42, 30 and 25 - and a 24-year-old woman were arrested as part of their investigation into the hospital.

Mr Burstow said: "The abuse of people with learning disabilities at Winterbourne View uncovered by Panorama is shocking. There can be no place for such inhumanity in care services.

"There have been failures of inspection and adult protection which have exposed people to appalling abuse.

"I am determined to strengthen the system of safeguarding to protect vulnerable adults from abuse."

Mr Burstow said he had already ordered a thorough examination of the roles of both government regulator, the Care Quality Commission (CQC), and the local authorities.

CQC chairman Dame Jo Williams admitted the failure to follow up the reports of a whistleblower - a senior nurse at the home - had been an "unforgivable error of judgement".

She said the CQC was conducting a "root-and-branch review" to find out why that had happened.

Dame Jo, who said she had no plans to resign, told BBC Radio 4's PM programme: "I am absolutely determined that we must do better."

She said the whistleblower had apparently contacted the CQC two or three times: "Once should have been enough. We have to listen to the people who are brave enough to raise their concerns."

She said each CQC inspector had a caseload of about 50 homes but she said it was too early to say if their heavy workload was to blame.

NHS South West said it was "appalled" by the issues raised surrounding the care home.

In a statement, it said: "We always expect safe, high-quality care from providers of services and the abuse of vulnerable patients is totally unacceptable."


Shocking Video on page.

[Jarlaxle]

Those of you who are trying to rationalize/generalise abandoning a "loved one" to a nursing home should be ashamed. The vast number of residents in homes are not shit eating/smearing individuals just lonely forgotten old people whose families no longer have any use for or time for. Perhaps, if you really want to know, you should visit a nursing home and talk to the residents. Do it on a holiday and see just how many have family visiting.

My father will, unless Fates are kind and he is hit by a dump truck, probably be thought of as a "nice old guy", a "big teddy bear", and "that old singer". Like many psychopaths, he can be charismatic and even charming when he isn't beating the shit out of someone or blackmailing his own mother.

[Jarlaxle]

And all people are saying Miles is that things are not always as they appear to be. My grandmother, my father's mother, lived with us from when my parents were married until she died. She was a vicious bitch who was continually verbally abusive to my mother and to us, her grandchildren, often when she was drunk. Her own daughters, one in Italy and one who lived in the same city as us, flatly refused to have her live with them once they were married and were able to escape for her. Had it been for my father she would long since been packed off to a home. Once he got so angry that he handed her a one way ticket on the next boat back to Palermo. Another time, which I was old enough to remember, she made the mistake of letting my father overhear her telling my sister (then 16 or 17) that she was destined to grow up to be an even bigger slut than my mother. My father packed up all of her things, put her in the cab, shoved some bills in the driver's hand and told him to take her anywhere she wanted to go. It was my mother who always ended up playing peacemaker between them, not that my grandmother ever showed the slightest bit of appreciation towards her for it, or just for generally acting as her slave for almost 30 years. Of course, she put on a really good "sweet little old lady" act towards anyone outside the immediate family, but we all grew up in a house where there was constant conflict due to her drinking and general nastiness. When she died, when I was 18, I was not the least bit sorry.

Some other relatives of ours did not put up with such vile behaviour from their parents and did cart them off to a home, where they no doubt would have come off very convincingly as "lonely forgotten old people" to strangers who had no clue what vicious monsters they had been towards their own flesh and blood.

Holy cow...she sounds as vicious as my father and that's a trick. Talk about two peas in a pod.

Damn, there are some fucked-up family lives on this board.