Members own writings, photography, music, art, poetry, prose.
Show off your own stuff, share the pleasure, suffer the critics.
Scooter
Posts: 17062 Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON
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by Scooter » Tue Jan 07, 2020 8:13 pm
Brought home a bag of 15-inch carrots from the grocery store. Can't help but wonder if some agricultural geneticist was feeling the need to compensate for something.
"The dildo of consequence rarely comes lubed." -- Eileen Rose
RayThom
Posts: 8604 Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:38 pm
Location: Longwood Gardens PA 19348
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by RayThom » Wed Jan 08, 2020 4:33 am
Scooter wrote: Brought home a bag of 15-inch carrots from the grocery store. Can't help but wonder if some agricultural geneticist was feeling the need to compensate for something.
Less than 20/20 vision, no doubt.
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
BoSoxGal
Posts: 19496 Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:36 pm
Location: The Heart of Red Sox Nation
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by BoSoxGal » Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:06 am
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
MajGenl.Meade
Posts: 21180 Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:51 am
Location: Groot Brakrivier
Contact:
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by MajGenl.Meade » Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:44 am
Buggers Bunny?
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
ex-khobar Andy
Posts: 5727 Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018
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by ex-khobar Andy » Wed Jan 08, 2020 1:38 pm
It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it.
Personally, I like carrot cake.
MajGenl.Meade
Posts: 21180 Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:51 am
Location: Groot Brakrivier
Contact:
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by MajGenl.Meade » Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:57 pm
Wow! That can't be beet.
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
Crackpot
Posts: 11535 Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:59 am
Location: Michigan
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by Crackpot » Wed Jan 22, 2020 1:54 pm
I can’t figure out if I’ve finally gained the confidence to speak up or is just stopped giving a shit.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
RayThom
Posts: 8604 Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:38 pm
Location: Longwood Gardens PA 19348
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by RayThom » Wed Jan 22, 2020 5:25 pm
ex-khobar Andy wrote: It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it.
Personally, I like carrot cake.
Guy in the cafeteria: Oh, young lady, while you were at the dessert counter I couldn't help myself and I ate the carrot in your lunch bag.
Young lady: Don't worry about it, I was done with it, anyway.
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
TPFKA@W
Posts: 4833 Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:50 am
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by TPFKA@W » Thu Mar 12, 2020 2:44 pm
I actually need to buy toilet paper but am embarrassed to do so fearing I will be seen as one of the panic buyers. Maybe I will get it from Amazon so it will be non-judgmentally delivered.
Joe Guy
Posts: 14952 Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California
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by Joe Guy » Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:53 pm
I've started to use both sides of the toilet paper. I figure now it will last twice as long.
TPFKA@W
Posts: 4833 Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:50 am
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by TPFKA@W » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:30 pm
Joe Guy wrote: ↑ Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:53 pm
I've started to use both sides of the toilet paper. I figure now it will last twice as long.
I am relieved to know you are not licking yourself clean.
But I know if you said you were you'd be speaking tongue in cheek.
Joe Guy
Posts: 14952 Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California
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by Joe Guy » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:36 pm
TPFKA@W wrote: ↑ Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:30 pm
I am relieved to know you are not licking yourself clean.
But I know if you said you were you'd be speaking tongue in cheek.
But it would be a real crack up...
Joe Guy
Posts: 14952 Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California
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by Joe Guy » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:38 pm
And the TP shortage is simple to explain. Every time someone sneezes ten people crap their pants!
(I stole that one)
TPFKA@W
Posts: 4833 Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:50 am
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by TPFKA@W » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:40 pm
Joe Guy wrote: ↑ Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:38 pm
And the TP shortage is simple to explain. Every time someone sneezes ten people crap their pants!
(I stole that one)
It's been posted about 110 times on Facebook. Toilet paper jokes are on a roll.
Joe Guy
Posts: 14952 Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California
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by Joe Guy » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:45 pm
I remodeled my bathroom...
TPFKA@W
Posts: 4833 Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:50 am
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by TPFKA@W » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:57 pm
Also posted under various titles, such as, "My new panic room". keep digging, you'll poop out something I haven't seen yet.
Joe Guy
Posts: 14952 Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California
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by Joe Guy » Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:00 pm
Okay....I think I'm a little late to the TP joke game. I'll stop and try to talk about more important tissues.
TPFKA@W
Posts: 4833 Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:50 am
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by TPFKA@W » Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:01 pm
Call me septical, but I don't think you can.