Gay floods

Got jokes? Funny images? Your tales of disaster? Youtube links?
Post them and share them.
Let the world laugh with you, (more fun if it's at you!)
Post Reply
User avatar
Gob
Posts: 33646
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:40 am

Gay floods

Post by Gob »

In its first two days, a parody UKIP account - inspired by a UKIP councillor's comments linking flooding with gay marriage - has amassed more than 80,000 followers.

By any standards, the rise of the @UkipWeather Twitter account is pretty remarkable. The spoof account has tweeted just 16 times since it was set up on Saturday, but has gathered more than 80,000 followers. That's more than double the number of followers of the official @UKIP Twitter account. The Twitter account was inspired by comments made by UKIP councillor David Silvester - now suspended - who blamed recent flooding in the UK on the government's decision to legalise gay marriage.

UKIP has suspended an Oxfordshire councillor after he blamed recent flooding on the government's decision to legalise gay marriage.

In a letter to his local paper, David Silvester said he had warned the PM the legislation would result in "disaster".

He said David Cameron had acted "arrogantly against the Gospel".

In the letter to the Henley Standard he wrote: "The scriptures make it abundantly clear that a Christian nation that abandons its faith and acts contrary to the Gospel (and in naked breach of a coronation oath) will be beset by natural disasters such as storms, disease, pestilence and war."

He added: "I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill.

"But he went ahead despite a 600,000-signature petition by concerned Christians and more than half of his own parliamentary party saying that he should not do so.

"It is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods."

He went on to say that no man, however powerful "can mess with Almighty God with impunity and get away with it".

UKIP leader Nigel Farage said he was entitled to his "strong Baptist view of the world", but had defied a request not to do further media interviews.

Mr Farage said: "So we suspended him, quite rightly."


UkipWeather ‏@UkipWeather Jan 19

A lingering look between 2 men at a gym in York has sparked concerns from residents living near the River Ouse
UkipWeather ‏@UkipWeather Jan 19

Council gritters are on high alert after a man in Peterborough went into a pub and ordered a glass of white wine
UkipWeather ‏@UkipWeather Jan 19

The early sunshine in the Cotswolds has been replaced by cloud after a man spent a suspiciously long time grooming his facial hair
UkipWeather ‏@UkipWeather Jan 19

Dark clouds are forming over the Midlands following voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons
UkipWeather ‏@UkipWeather Jan 19

A morning kiss between two consenting adults will lead to drizzle on higher ground
More here...
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

User avatar
Joe Guy
Posts: 14962
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California

Re: Gay floods

Post by Joe Guy »

Global warming is Obama's fault....

Image

User avatar
Gob
Posts: 33646
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:40 am

Re: Gay floods

Post by Gob »

BETROTHED homosexuals are to use their magical flood-creating powers to bring new life to desert regions.

Gay people in civil partnerships, who have been granted the power to summon rainstorms from the heavens by God and UKIP, plan to use it benevolently.

Nathan Muir, who saw storm clouds forming as he kissed his husband on their wedding day, said: “We’re honeymooning in Sub-Saharan Africa so that we can bring the waters of gayness to its parched landscape.

“If one small kiss summons a full-on pea souper imagine what fully penetrative gay intercourse could do.”

He added: “A lot of people think God dislikes homosexuals, but if that’s so why did he give us supernatural powers?

“Apparently he destroyed Sodom by sending loads of fire and brimstone, but those things are very useful in the right amounts.

“If Sodom’s level of gay sex had been just a fraction lower it would’ve been kept snugly warm. The moral is that God’s fine with moderate amounts of gay sex.”

Homosexuals are being welcomed in drought-prone regions, with Australia’s Irri-GAY-Tion chain of honeymoon hotels in the Outback paying couples $2,500 a night.

And in Africa, gay marriages are the new craze among farmers keen to provide for their families.

Ethiopian Abdu Gobena said: “They say homosexuality is an abomination in God’s sight, but on the other hand walking seven miles a day for drinking water sucks pretty hard too.”
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

User avatar
Econoline
Posts: 9607
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans

Re: Gay floods

Post by Econoline »

Hmm...maybe gay people should start moving to California.

Oh, wait. :oops:
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

User avatar
Lord Jim
Posts: 29716
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 12:44 pm
Location: TCTUTKHBDTMDITSAF

Re: Gay floods

Post by Lord Jim »

Econoline wrote:Hmm...maybe gay people should start moving to California.

Oh, wait. :oops:
Yes, living in San Francisco I can tell you for a fact that the theory that the presence of gay people causes torrential rainfall doesn't hold water....
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Joe Guy
Posts: 14962
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California

Re: Gay floods

Post by Joe Guy »

But it has caused a drought... :D

User avatar
Long Run
Posts: 6721
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:47 pm

Re: Gay floods

Post by Long Run »

Joe Guy wrote:But it has caused a drought... :D
This is the problem right here:

Image

User avatar
Crackpot
Posts: 11536
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:59 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Gay floods

Post by Crackpot »

In related news Dave Agema is now claiming he was taken out of context.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

Post Reply