Fighting instincts.

[rubato]

For the past year my sister and I have been flying down to spend the weekend with our dad as often as we can. Mom died last year and he's been on his own. He's 87 and had a small stroke back in the 1990s with a little diminution of short-term memory so, for example, we 'discovered' his safe deposit box keys 3 times in the span of half an hour the other night. And I realized that before I go each time I have to remind myself and then remind myself again several times during the trip (insert joke) NOT to do things for him. The natural instinct is to park closer so he does not have to walk as far, and to try to help him when he gets out of the car, or to help him recall things but the plain fact is that its a lot better for him to do these things for himself. Walking an extra block, standing up on his own and organizing his day are all beneficial things and trying to soften them is actually harmful to him.

So I go down and try to keep my instinct to help him in check unless it is something he really can't do or would be dangerous for him. He walks further and you can tell he is better off for it.



yrs,
rubato

[dales]

He walks further and you can tell he is better off for it.



Why not set your bees off after him, he'll get all the exercise the old coot needs.

[BoSoxGal]

Good for you, rubato. He's lucky to have such a caring son.