Sex and love

[Gob]

Women should embrace numerous sexual partners instead of channeling their energy into finding 'the one', a new book advises.



Sex coach and midwife Lauren Brim, 31, grew up in a Christian family in Orange County, California, which taught sex is sacred in marriage. It is global a social construct, she says, built to wound women sexually.
Now, with eight partners on the go and about 100 under her belt, LA-based Brim insists she has been enlightened. 'Sex is really energising. What’s tiring is dating,' she told The Telegraph. 'Women are so insistent on partnership and marriage because culture gives them no other format for sustained and socially approved sexuality and love.'

In her recently-released book, The New Rules Of Sex, Brim describes her colorful catalogue of sexual experiences - sex with exes, with women, with numerous people at once, in all manner of unusual locations.
And she reveals midwifery led her to a sexual awakening. 'I was watching women giving birth,' she explains in a YouTube promotion, 'and I was seeing that women who were in touch with their sexuality had much easier birth experiences - sometimes orgasmic birth experiences; empowering experiences. 'Women who weren't in touch with their sexuality really struggled. They had a lot of interventions a lot of problems.'



The realization provoked her to analyze the rules of sex in western society, she says. 'I was raised in a Christian family and was getting this message from my family, from society, from the church, that sexuality was really not ok; that it was something you could have with your husband when you got married. Sex and relationships and love were knotted up and I needed to unravel them 'Later in my adult life I got more messages from society that it was ok to have sex but only with someone that you saw a potential relationship with; with someone that could potentially become your husband. 'That didnt feel great either. 'So I was suffering a lot with how to be sexual. I had this sexuality inside me and never felt like I could express it without getting in trouble for it.'

When she turned 27, finding a relationship became near-impossible. 'I looked around and saw there were many single people around me, all of them attractive, talented and intelligent people,' she told The Telegraph. 'Some of them hadn’t been in a relationship for years.' 'I don’t believe in putting your energy into waiting for the perfect partner to come along. I believe in looking at what’s there.'

Brim, a trained dancer who has performed with New York City's Radio City Rockettes, insists the book is not a How To guide - rather a reconfiguration of sexual rules. She says readers will be empowered to stop expecting love from sex, which should be celebrated in its own right. 'These expectations I had of my sexual partners - "why didnt they love me?" 'Sex and relationships and love were knotted up and I needed to unravel them. 'Where do sexual ideas come from? Why are we telling women they can only have relationships? 'We need to set women free because women are really sexual and they're powerful. Her message to the female population? 'Relate to people differently, have less expectations.'

[MajGenl.Meade]

After a lovely dinner, much wine and much bridge last night with our best friends, I've decided that volume 2 of my Civil War adventure will be called "Snooks - 50 Shades of Blue and Grey". Can't fail to sell millions but I will have to dumb it down a lot

[rubato]

Her advice is more descriptive than prescriptive for single 20 and 30-somethings. But once you marry and start a family the equation changes.



yrs,
rubato