Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot on Twitter on Monday afternoon, introducing the world to Kingsley, the physical embodiment of nightmares.
With a jaunty, jovial opening message of "HIYA PALS!" Kingsley the terrifying star creature replaced beloved former Thistle mascot Jaggy MacBee (real name) as the crowd fronting symbol of the club.
Kingsley is desiged by artist David Shrigley and inspired by new commercial sponsor Kingsford Capital Management, which explains the name Kingsley but not why the head looks like Lisa Simpson if she had been tortured and then melted. And then addicted to crystal meth for a while.
The similarities between the monster, a thistle and the KCM logo are obvious though whether the tagline "Down To Business" also refers to the consuming of childrens' souls remains unclear.
What we can be sure of is that the response to the mascot has been nothing short of frightened, with many questioning what sort of a person could allow such a beast to roam the corridors of Firhill when it appears to yearn for sweet, sweet death almost as much as it wants to enslave man-kind.
The pupli-less eyes indicating that it is possessed or capable of telekinetic powers, the mouth of a creature kept in a basement - even the photo suggests that Kingsley is capable of summoning other demons from whence it came.
Until Kingsley can be found and stopped, no-one within a 50 mile radius of Glasgow will be safe. And although you could argue that people who live within a 50 mile radius of Glasgow weren't really safe before Kingsley anyway, something must be done.
Mascot from hell
Mascot from hell
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Mascot from hell
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Mascot from hell
They should have gone with this:

or maybe adopted this guy, from The Commonwealth Games:


or maybe adopted this guy, from The Commonwealth Games:




Re: Mascot from hell
That IS a bit terrifying. Why????
I like the purple-headed seed pod thingy, LJ!
I like the purple-headed seed pod thingy, LJ!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
