Figs not on

[ex-khobar Andy]

I love figs. I've had them straight off the tree several times including once at the Botanical Gardens in Burlington Ontario - I spied a ripe one on the tree and asked a nearby docent (or whatever you call them at a botanical gardens) "Can I have it?" and he said "Go right ahead." Wonderful.

Juicy and with a flavor which only figs have. And I feel connected to the ancients.

Was in Trader Joe's yesterday. One pound of round, purple, organic, beautiful California figs for $4.99. Of course I scooped them up and raced home. I put the frozen stuff away and opened the box. And bit into one.

Nothing. No flavor. No sweetness. You know how we complain that apples and tomatoes don't taste the same as they did when we were kids? How someone invented Golden Delicious which are neither golden nor delicious? Well they've done the same to figs.

TJ's do some things very right. I can forgive them a lot for Contadino Pinot Grigio at $5.99, which has really helped with getting through the past 18 months. But they had a major miss with these figs.

[Joe Guy]

I have a fig tree. It produces figs twice per year. The next crop should be ripe some time this month. The problem with figs is they don't store well and once picked they last a couple days at best - even in the refrigerator.

[Long Run]

Every home needs a fig fan.

I have a friend who does fig jam, and uses most of mine. It is one way to figure out how to handle them.

[Joe Guy]

That dog should be wearing a fig leaf.

[Long Run]

Fig off! My dog is like a Greek figurine.

[Joe Guy]

Fig off! My dog is like a Greek figurine.

So, when you hear a dog bark and think it's yours, do you say, "Is statue barking?"

[ex-khobar Andy]

I have a fig tree. It produces figs twice per year. The next crop should be ripe some time this month. The problem with figs is they don't store well and once picked they last a couple days at best - even in the refrigerator.

Interesting. I didn't know that figs were so unstable, which explains why, I think, all the figs I have ever had, have either been straight off the tree or dried. Had plenty of California figs but always the dried ones. So I was excited to see these fresh ones. There is a label on the box which says 8/3/21 - presumably the picking and/or packing date. I bought them on the 12th so they were already 9 days old. Looked perfect - still do - so presumably they were bred to be shelf stable and transportable, like the apples and tomatoes I despise. There are very few things I do not eat but these are going in the compost.

[Gob]

I'm planting a fig this year, (Brown Turkey.)