A Llanelli Wedding...

[Gob]

Makes me quite homesick..

A PREGNANT bride's wedding dress was splattered with blood when a Llanelli wedding reception erupted in violence at the weekend.



The shocking scenes took place after the wedding of Llanelli Welsh Guardsman Liam Saunders and his Swansea bride Zoe Miller.
​

There were four arrests at the wedding reception at the Thomas Arms Hotel, police confirmed.

Mr Saunders, who saw conflict in Afghanistan with the Welsh Guards, said the fighting had ruined the couple's big day.

"I just cried myself to sleep because it was such a lovely day and too much money had been spent for that to happen," said Mr Saunders, a former Burry Port Junior School and St John Lloyd Catholic Comprehensive School pupil.

He added: "It's disgraceful. They should just have some respect and put their differences aside for the day."

The alleged conflict arose between certain wedding guests just before midnight on Saturday. Mr Saunders said: "It ended up with them fighting each other.

"My father had a heart to heart with me and he said he was so proud of the way I conducted myself, it was in a soldier-like manner.

"I had my tunic and I was representing the Battalion.

"I was drinking orange juice and water."

Mr Saunders said it was lucky the photographer had left.

"He would have caught some terrible shots," he added.

"The manager of the Thomas Arms was disgusted.

"I'm travelling back to barracks and I'm raging.

"It's completely ruined the day when everyone was enjoying themselves.

"It's supposed to be talked about for years for all the right reasons."

He said there were a number of children at the wedding who might have witnessed the violence.

Together with his bride they were ushered away from the trouble.

Mr Saunders, whose family hail from Burry Port, said: "Zoe had blood splattered on her wedding dress.

"She was on the table where the chair was thrown and the chair just skimmed her head.

"If it had hit her awkwardly it could have hurt the baby."

Zoe, 21, is a hairdresser from Mayhill.

A Dyfed-Powys Police spokeswoman said: "Police were called to a disturbance at the Thomas Arms Hotel, Llanelli, in the very early hours of Sunday, June 19.

"One male was arrested on suspicion of assault. Two males were arrested on suspicion of affray.

"One female was arrested on suspicion of a public order offence.

"They have been bailed pending further police investigations."

No-one at the Thomas Arms was prepared to make a comment.

http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Groom ... story.html

[Sean]

That's what you get for mixing LLanelli and Swansea...

[Gob]

Turks and Jacks don't mix, and should never interbreed.

The pub in question, the Thomas Arms, I was banned from there after 4 years of peaceful drinking and patronage.

I shouldn't have tried to get a free pint out of the landlady for my birthday.








Or at least I shouldn't have told her it was my 18 th birthday....

[loCAtek]

Wait, should anyone from Llanelli be breeding? A tiny, postage-stamped-sized region in retaliation ...pardon, easy mistake. That was: in relation to England's violent, Somalian breeding program, which makes the Llanelli 'catch, conceive and release' effort, seem like a microscopic contribution to the British empirical effort to perpetuate people who hate each other, mating , marrying and separating, then profiting, in that order, for the good of the commonwealth, who don't care so long as they get their pint?

[Sean]

That is the most incoherent thing I have ever read,

Seriously, did your parents have any children that lived?

[Gob]

Wait, should anyone from Llanelli be breeding? A tiny, postage-stamped-sized region in retaliation ...pardon, easy mistake. That was: in relation to England's violent, Somalian breeding program, which makes the Llanelli 'catch, conceive and release' effort, seem like a microscopic contribution to the British empirical effort to perpetuate people who hate each other, mating , marrying and separating, then profiting, in that order, for the good of the commonwealth, who don't care so long as they get their pint?

Roughly translates as; "I haven't got a fucking clue about what I'm saying, but I desperately need attention."

[loCAtek]

Should I explain that I was being silly? Why does he careI if I'm on ignore? ..oh wait, that decades old counter-silly kinda gave that away. Lemme see if he takes this seriously:

E-=hem, yes Gob, I think Somalis should be fed Llanellis to improve their fighting instinct it the pits. They could earn their citizenship by cage-fighting for food on the telly; keeping both populations down and earning entertainment revenue; it's a win/win!

Rah!

[Sean]

Should I explain that I am embarrassed havin posted something so retarded so am now going to try and convince people that I meant it that way and that I am in fact a comic genius?

Wibble.

[Gob]

E-=hem, yes Gob, I think Somalis should be fed Llanellis to improve their fighting instinct it the pits. They could earn their citizenship by cage-fighting for food on the telly; keeping both populations down and earning entertainment revenue; it's a win/win!

Rah!

Got this one...

My keyboard has been drinking
My necktie's asleep
The combo went back to New York, and left me all alone
The jukebox has to take a leak
Have you noticed that the carpet needs a haircut?
And the spotlight looks just like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes
As usual the balcony's on the make
And my keyboard has been drinking, heavily
My keyboard has been drinking
And he's on the hard stuff tonight

My keyboard has been drinking
And you can't find your waitress
Even with the Geiger counter
And I guarantee you that she will hate you
From the bottom of her glass
And all of your friends remind you
That you just can't get served without her
My keyboard has been drinking

My keyboard has been drinking
And the lightman's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And my keyboard-tuner's got a hearing aid
And he showed up with his mother
And my keyboard has been drinking
Without fear of contradiction I say
My keyboard has been drinking

Our Father who art in ?
Hallowed by thy glass
Thy kindom come, thy will be done
On Earth as it is in the lounges
Give us this day our daily splash
Forgive us our hangovers
As we forgive all those who continue to hangover against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver from evil and someone you must all ride home

Because my keyboard has been drinking
And he's your friend not mine
Because my keyboard has been drinking
And he's not my responsibility

The bouncer is this Sumo wrestler
Kinda cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is just a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fencepost
I'm going down, hang onto me, I'm going down
Watch me skate across an acre of linoleum
I know I can do it, I'm in total control
And my keyboard has been drinking
And he's embarassing me
My keyboard has been drinking, he raided his mini bar

My keyboard has been drinking
And the bar stools are all on fire
And all the newspapers were just fooling
And the ash-trays have retired
And I've got a feeling that my keyboard has been drinking
It's just a hunch
My keyboard has been drinking and he's going to lose his lunch
And my keyboard has been drinking
Not me, not me, My keyboard has been drinking not me

[Sean]

Like it!

Reminds me of:

[loCAtek]

Astute observation of my admission, from over three years ago, chaps. Rah! Way to keep up.

MeanWhile in an intoxicated state, I'm still more original and funny than you Llanelli (re: Somali immigrant fodder) are.

Keep trying, you'll make amusing some day, I'm sure!



...or die trying

[Sean]

What the fuck are you talking about?

I responded to a witty poem Strop posted.
Hate to break it to you but not everything is about you...

MeanWhile in an intoxicated state, I'm still more original and funny than you Llanelli (re: Somali immigrant fodder) are.

Yeah and when I'm bladdered I think I can play like the ghost of Hendrix. We've all been there...

[Gob]

MeanWhile in an intoxicated state, I'm still more original and funny than you Llanelli (re: Somali immigrant fodder) are.

Can someone decipher why Lo thinks she's funnier than Llanelli?

Oh, and why Somali immigrants are "fodder"?

Some sort of bizarre racist taunt, maybe?

[The Hen]

I vote for "racist taunt".

If that was humor, it must be some kind of "American" humor. Because, seriously, I don't get it.

[Scooter]

Nah, she's just crocked. Again. Or still, whichever the case may be.

[Sean]

Oh it was definititely a bizarre attempt at a taunt. To her insulting a persons race, nationality or ethnicity is the height of highbrow humour.

One thing to remember though, it's a 'joke'. So if you are offended it is because you have no sense of humour.

And not because she's a racist cunt.

[loCAtek]

This was posted in Laffs, no?

Actually, I didn't find it very funny at first, since I've seen plenty of wedding brawls; thought it was part of the traditional entertainment. In fact, I was pretty proud of the fact that at my first wedding, the fight was more unique in that it took place between twin sisters. No lie. The guys all gathered 'round waiting for the clothes to start coming off.

I added the Somali=ism to liven up the old stand-by of put Llanelli together and violence ensues. You don't want folks, making jokes, don't put it in the humor section.

...but that's just me.

[The Hen]

Oh it was definititely a bizarre attempt at a taunt. To her insulting a persons race, nationality or ethnicity is the height of highbrow humour.

One thing to remember though, it's a 'joke'. So if you are offended it is because you have no sense of humour.

And not because she's a racist cunt.

Ahh I see. It's the old "I am funny because people I know laugh at me" syndrome. The operative word is "at" not "with". Personally I find this now tragic.

[Lord Jim]

Mr Saunders, who saw conflict in Afghanistan with the Welsh Guards

He had to go all the way to Afghanistan to fight with other Welsh Guards? Couldn't he have done that just as easily back here in the barracks? I thought when people were sent to Afghanistan, it was to fight with the Taliban, not the Welsh Guards...Why did....


Oh....

Never mind....

[The Hen]

Give 'em a pint and they'll travel to the ends of the earth to thump anybody.