Post Olympartum Blues

[MajGenl.Meade]

What to do from 4 a.m. until midnight now? Think about ways to improve the Olympics, that’s what.

1. Ban boxing entirely. It is the only (I believe) Olympic ‘sport’ that has as its objective hurting another human being – degrading and contrary to the Olympic Spirit

2. Ban basketball entirely. An alternative sport with a slightly better chance of an unpredictable outcome would be baby-seal clubbing. At best, give both USA teams a gold medal and tell them to stay home and save money – the ROW can compete for silver and bronze (which is all they can ever win anyway)

3. Tell the Northern Irish to make up their minds. Either compete with Ireland or refuse to compete at all until the stupid Olympics committee in the UK admits that it isn’t “Great Britain” but “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland” – i.e. Team UK. The IOC should punish “GB”
for fielding athletes from a foreign country. Next time in Rio – UK (not GB)!

4. Add Test Cricket. This will extend the games from two weeks to approximately two years and fill that boredom gap between summer and winter games. OK so it will fill it with a different kind of boredom but.......

5. Insist that any musical acts younger than 64 years of age may only perform cover versions of songs by musical acts older than 64 years. It was very noticeable that the two best performances of the Opening and Closing ceremonies were covers of a Beatles song and a Who song.

6. Ban all sports in which the ONLY determining factor is points awarded by judges. “Faster, Higher, Stronger” and smaller bikinis – these should be the only criteria.

7. Get rid of the little lights and “scoring” pads in fencing – back to bare metal and points and let’s see something more like Pirates of the Caribbean and less like a small fender bender***

8. There is no rule 8, Bruce

9. Tell Oscar to either run in the real Olympics or in the Paralympics but not both. He’s a hero to me for what he does privately as well as publicly but really – a leg in both camps?

Meade

eta ***this rule of course applies only if they keep boxing in the Games.

[Lord Jim]

I agree with some of your suggestions Gen'l but I like Olympic boxing....

The fact that they only go three rounds makes it a lot more exciting and compelling to watch than a 10, 12 or 15 round bout where they do nothing but dance half the time...From the moment the bell rings, the fighters have to start showing why they're there...

An alternative sport with a slightly better chance of an unpredictable outcome would be baby-seal clubbing.

Hey, we damn near lost to the Lithuanians fercrisakes.....

Sometimes those seals can be tougher than they look....

One of the things that I found surprising about these Olympics is the way I got really hooked on watching some of the minor sport competitions that I wouldn't have thought I would have found interesting...

Archery can actually be exciting....

Who knew?

[Joe Guy]

5. Insist that any musical acts younger than 64 years of age may only perform cover versions of songs by musical acts older than 64 years. It was very noticeable that the two best performances of the Opening and Closing ceremonies were covers of a Beatles song and a Who song.

Are you saying that Paul was doing a cover of a Beatles song and The Who were doing a cover of a Who song?

Is that possible?

[Gob]

What to do from 4 a.m. until midnight now? Think about ways to improve the Olympics, that’s what.

1. Ban boxing protectors entirely. no head guards and harder gloves. It is the only (I believe) Olympic ‘sport’ that has as its objective hurting another human being –the finest example of Olympic Spirit


4. Add Test Cricket. This will extend the games from two weeks to approximately two years and fill that boredom gap between summer and winter games. OK so it will fill it with a different kind of excitement but.......

[dales]

10. Clothing optional for woman's beach volleyball

[Sean]

If they dropped all of the equestrian sports they'd have lots of spare horseshoes to put in the boxing gloves...

[loCAtek]

Add: Full Contact Cinnamon Challenge (warning contains vomit);

[MajGenl.Meade]

5. Insist that any musical acts younger than 64 years of age may only perform cover versions of songs by musical acts older than 64 years. It was very noticeable that the two best performances of the Opening and Closing ceremonies were covers of a Beatles song and a Who song.

Are you saying that Paul was doing a cover of a Beatles song and The Who were doing a cover of a Who song?

Is that possible?

No I was not, Joe. Paul's performance was not one of the "two best" but at least I saw it. However NBC did not show the Who as part of the Closing Ceremony presentation. What they did is edit the CC down so they could show a one hour pathetic "humour" show directly after (then the news I think) and only then did they show the 8 minute Who performance long past my bed-time. So they were not included in my "two best" either.

Hats off to Arctic Monkeys and the Kaiser Chiefs

Meade

[Lord Jim]

If they dropped all of the equestrian sports they'd have lots of spare horseshoes to put in the boxing gloves...

That's usin' the old noodle Sean...

It is the only (I believe) Olympic ‘sport’ that has as its objective hurting another human being – degrading and contrary to the Olympic Spirit

On the contrary; hurting another human being is very much in "the Olympic Spirit":

On other days, wrestling, boxing, and the pancratium, a combination of the two, were held. In wrestling, the aim was to throw the opponent to the ground three times, on either his hip, back or shoulder. In ancient Greek wrestling biting and genital holds were illegal.[pussies...]

Boxing became more and more brutal; at first the pugilists wound straps of soft leather over their fingers as a means of deadening the blows, but in later times hard leather, sometimes weighted with metal, was used. In the pancratium, the most rigorous of the sports, the contest continued until one or the other of the participants acknowledged defeat.[According to another source, you wanted to make sure that you didn't actually kill your opponent, because the dead guy would be declared the winner....among so many other things, we also apparently owe the invention of irony to the ancient Greeks...]

http://www.ancientgreece.com/s/Olympics/

If you want to eliminate sports that aren't in keeping with the "Olympic spirit" I recommend that we start with some of the truly candy-assed pseudo "sports" like "synchronized swimming".....[edited to remove free advertisement for the image nazis]

OK so it will fill it with a different kind of excitement

Yes, the boring kind....

[dgs49]

The older I get the more illustrations I see of the maxim (my own, if you please) that, "There is no activity so stupid that some people will not become obsessed with it." Consider not only all the off-the-wall crap that IS in the Olympics (badminton?), but also the bullshit "sports" that advocates want to see added in the future (rock climbing).

I think special recognition should be given to the former Olympic boxing champion, Cassius Clay, who made the greatest single contribution to public boorishness in professional athletics. Without his influence the spectacle would be much different. A jackass like Bolt would have been boo'd out of the stadium a couple generations ago.

[Gob]

Speed climbing woudl be a great Olympic sport!

[Lord Jim]

It would be a lot more impressive with babies strapped to their backs....

[Gob]