This month's "No Shit Sherlock" award

[Gob]

It may seem obvious to some but a new £118,000 ($187,000 USD) study has discovered people do not like the idea of strip clubs being outside schools.

It took a whole year for the University of Kent's School of Social Policy to reach the conclusion of their report which was paid for using taxpayers' money.

The research was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council, a non-departmental public body that receives most of its funding through the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills.

Paul Alcock, chairman of Maidstone Town Centre Management, said: 'This survey is a total waste of money because they are actually telling us the flaming obvious.

'Most people don't want lap-dancing venues where kids can see them.

'The place for this sort of club is at the bottom of the high street or somewhere out of the way.'

The study, called Sexual Entertainment Venues and the management of risk, canvassed residents in Maidstone, Lincoln, Newcastle and Brighton and not surprisingly, it found 83 per cent of respondents felt lap-dancing clubs are not appropriate near schools or nurseries.

Nearly 1,000 people completed the online survey, which was designed to challenge the negative image attached to lap-dance venues.

[Joe Guy]

Next study planned;

Should gun clubs be allowed to have target shooting practice on playgrounds at public schools?

The University of Kent is currently assembling a committee of government funded employees in order to decide the amount of taxpayers' money needed to complete the study.

However, the governmental committee that oversees the assemblage of committees has decided that a committee should first be appointed to determine whether or not a committee is necessary in this case.

No one from the government has commented thus far on the public school/target shooting issue due to the fact that the committee on commentary distribution has not yet voted to appoint a spokesman and put forth a majority's conclusion on the issue.

An announcement is expected as soon as all involved committees meet, confer and agree.

[Econoline]

It may seem obvious to some but a new £118,000 ($187,000 USD) study has discovered people do not like the idea of strip clubs being outside schools.

They prefer that strip clubs be INSIDE schools?????