Catastrophic Vegemite Event in Redwood City CA

[Joe Guy]

Early last week I noticed I was almost out of Marmite. There was just a thin layer at the bottom of the jar that had served me so well since I graduated from Vegemite usage.

After careful consideration, I decided to buy Vegemite this time because I remembered liking it. I wondered if Marmite was like comparing heroin to Vicodin. Would Vegemite be too weak and put me through some sort of withdrawal and yearning for the thicker and richer Marmite?

I was willing to try the experiment, knowing that if needed I could still procure Marmite and have it within two days because I'm an Amazon Prime Member.

I ordered a 220g jar, the biggest size ever for me.

Last evening it was delivered.... in an envelope. The envelope was padded but huh!? A glass jar shipped in an envelope?

I opened the envelope to discover that the jar of Vegemite was wrapped in small-bubbled wrap and taped very tightly. I was concerned. It took a lot of effort and the use of scissors to cut the tape and slowly unwrap the jar.

After prying off the second and final layer of wrap, to my horror, a growing fear was realized.

The bottom of the jar had been smashed to bits, leaving pieces of glass and Vegemite intermixed.

Panicking, I thought quickly. I'll use a sieve to separate the glass from the Vegemite and filter it into a tupperware container.

Eventually the more logical and very sad thought occurred to me. I couldn't keep it. I'll have to return it to Amazon and get my money back.

I remember thinking that leaves me with a jar of Marmite that I believe I've scraped to death, so I'm virtually out of 'mite'.

I was a little shaky.

Worse yet, what am I to do now? Should I only order Vegemite by the tube for fear of another catastrophic event like this one?

A real dilemma.

I decided to put off the decision as to what & how to order until this morning.

I'm still shopping at Amazon and will make a decision soon.

Alternative Ending to My Story (before someone else does it)

....After prying off the second and final layer of wrap, to my horror, a growing fear was realized.

The bottom of the jar had been smashed to bits, leaving pieces of glass and Vegemite intermixed.

I immediately dialed 911 and reported the Vegemite spill. I told the dispatcher that it was just me and my cat, Jojo, and a broken jar of Vegemite.

Five minutes later, two firetrucks, an ambulance, an S.P.C.A. wagon and a truck with 'Hazmat' in big letters arrived. The police closed off my block and evacuated all of my neighbors.

The S.P.C.A. officer, dressed in a Hazmat gear, rushed over to Jojo, picked him up and took him out to her van. Another Hazmat clad individual quickly placed an oxygen mask over my face and whisked me out to the ambulance.

Needless to say, I was up all night while the workers cleaned up the Vegemite spill and finally left me alone. Jojo will be returned to me later today after he is tested for potential toxic infection.

They weren't worried about me. I was told that being a Vegemite/Marmite junkie made me immune to any potential toxicity and I was advised to buy more of the stuff soon but get the tube and keep it in a locked safe when not using it.

Which I've done. Ordered more, that is.

THE END

[Lord Jim]

Joe, you should take this as a Sign....

Your Guardian Angel is looking out for you....

Two words:

Cold Turkey....

[Joe Guy]

Well, I ended up buying Marmite again. It was the only mite I could get within two days. All the others offered come from the UK and Australia and I'd have to wait at least two weeks.

[Lord Jim]

[dales]

Joe - - - you might want to look into some 12-step programs in your area.

Others have traveled the well-trod path before you, you can meet with succcess if you take one day at a time.

Above all.......
















FIND A SPONSOR!

[Gob]

[Sean]

Alternative, alternative ending...

....After prying off the second and final layer of wrap, to my horror, a growing fear was realized.

The bottom of the jar had been smashed to bits, leaving pieces of glass and Vegemite intermixed.

I immediately dialed 911 and gave them a heads up that I would shortly be arriving at the emergency room with lacerations to the mouth, throat and stomach.

Then I made toast...

[Joe Guy]

Alternative, alternative ending...

....After prying off the second and final layer of wrap, to my horror, a growing fear was realized.

The bottom of the jar had been smashed to bits, leaving pieces of glass and Vegemite intermixed.

I immediately dialed 911 and gave them a heads up that I would shortly be arriving at the emergency room with lacerations to the mouth, throat and stomach.

Then I made toast...

That's a better ending than mine...

[Joe Guy]

Joe - - - you might want to look into some 12-step programs in your area.

Others have traveled the well-trod path before you, you can meet with succcess if you take one day at a time.

Above all.......

FIND A SPONSOR!

I'm not addicted to Marmite or Vegemite.

I can quit any time I want. In fact, every day I quit at some point....

[Lord Jim]

That's like the old WC Fields line:

"Quitting drinking is easy...Why, I've done it 100 times"

[MajGenl.Meade]

Hey Joe I heard etc etc

Doesn't Cost Plus World Market have a guy who hangs around outside with marmite doobies and vegemite in unbreakable U.N. condoms hidden under his raincoat?

890 Jefferson Avenue
Redwood City, CA 94063
Tel: (650) 701-1820

[Joe Guy]

Holy Vegemite!!

Thanks, Meade!! I went online to Cost Plus and it says they have Marmite and Vegemite right here in Redwood City. And it’s cheaper than what I’ve been paying.

I went half way around the world for this and now I find that it’s in my own backyard.

[Gob]

All part of the master plan.

[Lord Jim]

Thanks, Meade!!

Just what every addict needs...

An enabler....

[TPFKA@W]

Where is the alternative ending, the realistic one, where you dial 911 and are ultimately removed from your home in a straight jacket because you admit to liking both Marmite and Vegimite?

[Gob]

[Joe Guy]

Where is the alternative ending, the realistic one, where you dial 911 and are ultimately removed from your home in a straight jacket because you admit to liking both Marmite and Vegimite?

I'll share this with you if you promise not to repeat it.

Just last week I thought I dreamed that I had a menage a trois.

I woke up with a jar of Marmite on my left & a jar of Vegemite on my right. Ever since then quite a few people seem to treat me differently.

For example, I walked into a bar and all the women stood up and made hand gestures as though they were raising the roof and yelled, "Here comes the playaaaah!!"

[Lord Jim]

I walked into a bar and all the women stood up and made hand gestures as though they were raising the roof and yelled, "Here comes the playaaaah!!

I knew the stuff tastes worse than used motor oil, but I was unaware of it's hallucinogenic properties....

[Gob]

I knew the stuff tastes worse than used motor oil,

We bow to your superior experience of such things.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Hallucinogen?
Maybe I should try it.