Directions...

[Gob]

SIR – On a recent trip to County Mayo, we became hopelessly lost (Letters, March 2).
My wife stopped the car and inquired of a young local boy: “Excuse me, how do you get to Ballina?”
He replied: “My cousin takes me.”


Next time he will presumably ask : “Excuse me, could you direct me to Ballina?”
To which the boy could well answer:- "I don't know becuase my cousin takes me, as my cousin knows the way."

"I stopped and asked a man the best way to Camborne, he asked if I was going by foot, or by car. I said "by car... "He said: "That's the best way"

I once asked a garda officer who was on duty whether I was OK to park where I was, meaning were there any restrictions in place, he looked at me thoughtfully and said; 'well you might be getting away with it...'

"Excuse me, could you direct me to to the Lewdown turn-off"
"She works up there in the paper shop, I married her sister."

"Turn left where the post office used to be ...You know the post office? Aye, well it's not there, it's in the other direction entirely"

[Lord Jim]

Excuse me, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?"

"Practice..."


(I believe that may be the world's oldest joke of the sort in the OP...)