oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[oldr_n_wsr]

Been picking up a kid for a meeting or two each week. He's 17 and still attending high scool to try and get his diploma. Technically he is still in 9th grade, 3 years behind where he should be. He seems committed to staying sober but he is not "big" on school. I've been trying to change his attitude on school and offered to tutor him on his math troubles.
I admire the young'uns who want this program, as I know back then I would not even have entertained the thought.
One day at a time.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Doing step four right now. My sponsor told me to go back as far as I remember in my past. Found out I hate him for that (not really). Started writing down some really shitty things from grammar school. Not so much the resentment list they show int eh big book, just situations and experiences from those early years. I buried much of that time and while I guess it's good to get it out, it sucks at teh same time.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Hi, I'm oldr_n_wsr and I am an alcholic. I am back one day after a few days of drinking. Not much else to say.

[Gob]

Keep moving forward mate, relapses are normal.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I have no plan on not contiueing with sobriety. Just don't understand how/why sometimes I just go and drink liquor. Talked to an old friend of mine who is a psychiatrist specialising in addictions. Got an appointment with him tomorrow.

[Gob]

Wow Good for you mate, respect!

[Crackpot]

My dAd made 13 years last week

[Joe Guy]

Just don't understand how/why sometimes I just go and drink liquor.

There will be bumps in the road but don't be discouraged. The main thing is to keep focused on your goal. I've no doubt that you'll succeed.

And don't forget to save your ear wax.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Talked to my shrink (he doesn't mind me calling him a shrink as over the years I have called him worse. We've been friends for almost 40 years). He has two drugs that I can take, one takes away the "yearnings" to drink (which are constant) and if you do you do not get the buzz. The other makes you deathly ill if you do drink (he says you will only do it once, maybe that's what I need). He is contacting my Primary Came Physician for vitals and such and I am going in for a full physical in less than two weeks.

We'll see how things play out.
I drank saturday but didn't yesterday nor today (so far, and don't plan to).

My dAd made 13 years last week

More power to him.

[Rick]

Oldr you can always feel free to call me if you want, I'm certain I can listen long enough for you to talk yerself out of a drink.

Seriously...I'll PM you my number, just gotta ask...

[oldr_n_wsr]

Thanks keld. I do have a support group that I call but sometimes, i don't know, I just go for it.
It's like having a constant itch that you ignore most of the time and can tolerate some of the time, but then, even subconsiously you go and scratch it (aka get a drink). And once you scratch it, you keep scratching until it is ripped open, and even then you keep scratching because it still itches. Finally it bleeds and hurts too much to scratch and you let it be........until it starts again.

I'm seeing my shrink this weekend and we'll see what he is recommending as far as drugs to take away the craving. Along with the drug that makes one deathly ill if you drink while on it. We'll see.

Thanks Again Keld.

[Joe Guy]

It takes a very strong willed person to accomplish what you are now doing, Oldr. From what I can see, based on opinions and ideas you've expressed here, you can succeed.

If you view your situation from an outsider's perspective you will realize that others realize that you are doing this not only for your own health, but ultimately to keep your family intact and secure. You are acting unselfishly and showing serious concern for your family.

Is there a more noble goal?

One day at a time.

That's all you need to do.

There will be occasional rocks on the road to sobriety, but with patience & time those rocks will turn to pebbles and eventually disappear.

Okay, I'll stop now. I'm starting to write like a very bad Leonard Cohen impressionist.

But it's the thought that counts... ain't it...

[Econoline]

A "very bad Leonard Cohen impressionist" would have said something like "The rocks turn into roses/and the pebbles into pawns." (Oh, wait...that might have been LC himself....)

Hang in there, oldr*. If "one day at a time" stops working, try "one hour at a time". We're all cheering for you.





* it seems a bit odd for me to be calling someone who's younger than me "oldr".

[oldr_n_wsr]

Don't know how old you are but I will be 55 in June. The older and wiser handle came about from some of the really stupid things I did in my youth. The movie Jackass and their stunts were tame compared to what me and my buddies did when we were young. Had any of us died we would have won a Darwin award hands down.

Anyway, friday I start my drugs. Forgot the name of it but if I drink while taking it, I get very very sick. It also is supposed to take away the constant "itch" that I have, so we will see. It's a 4 to 6 month treatment and hopefully by then I can take over.

I'm not a God person but I do believe there is something (as opposed to someone) out there. I ask whatever is out there to relieve the itch, but it has not been taken away. If drugs do it, I will be happy (or at least relieved). Some in AA are opposed to this (not my sponsor as he said do what you have to) and say I have to surrender. Wel, I surrendered and I still have the itch. The itch is constant and unending. If that worked, I would not be seeking other treatments. They give drugs to heroin addicts and alcholics to detox, so why not to help with the urges.

[Guinevere]

Older, you should do what *you* need to do for yourself, and not worry about what anyone thinks -- maybe aside from your sponsor and it sounds like he is on board.

Good luck with the new approach, I truly hope it works for you.

[Econoline]

What Guin said.

(Oh, and as someone everyone pointed out in a "Happy Birthday" thread last November, I'm 66. Maybe I should just call you "wsr"? )

[oldr_n_wsr]

Or maybe we should call you econo_oldr_line.

[Rick]

Ecoldrvan...

[oldr_n_wsr]

I can't wait until I am 66. Then I will retire (or is it 67 now, I can't keep up) and be able to do all those things I want to do like ride my motorcycle or snowmobile and go hunting for weeks at a time. Of course I might have to hang with the wife once in a while, but heck, thats a small price to pay.

[Rick]

I lived my retirement while I was in College, now I have to die at my desk...