Jesus is back, look busy!

[Gob]

A man claiming to be Jesus is gaining followers and causing concern among cult experts in Australia.

Former IT specialist Alan John Miller, or AJ as he prefers to be known, runs a religious movement known as the Divine Truth from his home near the small town of Kingaroy in the state of Queensland.

Mr Miller claims that not only is he Christ, but his partner, Australian Mary Luck, is in fact Mary Magdalene, who according to the Bible was present at the crucifixion.

He told Sky News: "I have very clear memories of the crucifixion, but it wasn't as harrowing for me as it was for others like Mary who was present.

"When you are one with God you are not in a state of fear, and you have quite good control over your body's sensations and the level of pain that you absorb from your body."

Mr Miller holds seminars near his home and also travels around the world teaching people how to have a personal relationship with God, often by delving deep into their emotions.

Dozens of his followers are understood to have bought properties in the area to be closer to him.

After his crucifixion the Australian claims he entered the spirit world where he met Plato, Socrates, popes and presidents.

He also says he remembers performing miracles.

He said: "I did resurrect quite a number of people ... including a friend of mine Lazarus, who most people know is mentioned in the Bible."

Whilst critics dismiss his claims the seminars attract large groups of people, up to 150 a time.

British woman Louise "Luli" Faver, 39, is a former neuroscientist who has given up her career to be closer to the couple.

"It's just nice to instead of being surrounded by people who think you are nuts, to be surrounded by people who understand what you are going through and the difficulties of trying to deal with all the emotional stuff," she said.

She believes AJ Miller has helped her become happier and more fulfilled in life.

George Hamel has left behind a business and his wife in California to be closer to Mr Miller and his teachings. He firmly believes Mr Miller is Jesus Christ and insists there's nothing sinister about him.

"It's natural that people form fears when they don't know about something," he said.

"Anyone who has a chance to look into it aren't going to find anything too upsetting."

Some, however, are concerned - like the Rev David Millikan, who has met AJ Miller and has studied cults for 30 years.

He said: "The danger is you'll be drawn closer and closer into his web to a point that you lose access to your social life, you spend all your money, you'll have the curses of all your family ringing in your ears and you may well lose your relationship."

But Mr Miller says he does not demand anything of those who come and listen to him speak. He claims donations are welcome, but not obligatory.

He refutes any suggestion that he forces anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with.

"All we do is present seminars and answer people's questions. I still for the life of me can't quite understand where the cult thing has come from," he told Sky News.

He added: "There were lots of people in the first century who didn't believe I was the Messiah and were offended by what I said - and in fact I died at the hands of some of them.

"Unfortunately they didn't learn love either and my suggestion is, even if you don't believe I am Jesus, at least learn how to love."

Mary Luck admits her family have not supported her relationship with Mr Miller.

She said: "My parents became very afraid simply because AJ was saying he was Jesus publicly and by their own admission they feared for what my life would be like.

"They also had some fundamental issues with looking at emotions which is core to these teachings."

Through DVDs, the internet and in person AJ Miller is spreading his word globally.

Whether he is the Messiah or just make believe, there are plenty of people who are prepared to listen.

[dales]

English Standard Version (©2001)


For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray.

[rubato]

"Unfortunately they didn't learn love either and my suggestion is, even if you don't believe I am Jesus, at least learn how to love."

Being dead has REALLY rubbed the rough edges off of him; he used to be so insistent on being an exclusive franchise with strict rules for followers.


yrs,
rubato

[dales]

That can be explained by his "Messiah Complex".

or if one would like to meditate on this:

Matthew 11:30

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

New International Version (©2011)

[Joe Guy]

I would like to know one important thing...

Does Jesus like Vegemite?

[dales]

I've heard he's a marmite man.

[Gob]

Oh JC is definitely a Marmite man.

Clare Allen from Rhondda, south Wales, with the lid from the Marmite, which she says looks like the face of Jesus Christ

[Joe Guy]

Did God create Marmite in his own image?

[MajGenl.Meade]

he used to be so insistent on being an exclusive franchise with strict rules for followers.
yrs,
rubato

Those strict rules in full:

Mat 5:39 Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Mat 5:40 if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.
Mat 5:41 if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
Mat 5:42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.
Mat 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 6:2 when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised
Mat 6:3 when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
Mat 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged.
Mat 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
Mat 7:15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

(cont p. A.D. 94)

(That's enough rules. ed.)

[Sean]

I dunno... to me this JC is just as convincing as the last one.

For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray.

And that sounds like the kind of thing a false Messiah might say to cover his own arse...

[MajGenl.Meade]

Sean

Try your divining skills on this little lot!

List of people claimed to be the second coming of Christ (the first one is obviously a nut case by definition):

John Nichols Thom (1799–1838), a Cornish tax rebel
Arnold Potter (1804–1872), Schismatic Latter Day Saint leader
Bahá'u'lláh (1817–1892), born Shiite, adopted Bábism later in 1844
William W. Davies (1833–1906), leader of a Latter Day Saint schismatic group
Mirza Ghulam Ahmad (1835–1908), claimed to be the awaited Mahdi as well
Haile Selassie IHaile Selassie I (1892–1975) disapproved of claims that he was Jesus but the Rastafari believe he is the Second Coming.
George Ernest Roux (1903–1981), called the "Christ of Montfavet"
Ernest Norman (1904–1971), an American electrical engineer
Krishna Venta (1911—1958), born Francis Herman Pencovic in San Francisco
Ahn Sahng-Hong (1918–1985), a South Korean
Sun Myung Moon (1920–2012), believed by members of the Unification Church to be the Messiah and the Second Coming of Christ
Jim Jones (1931–1978), claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus, Akhenaten, Buddha, Vladimir Lenin, and Father Divine in the 1970s
Marshall Applewhite (1931–1997), an American
Yahweh ben Yahweh (1935–2007), born as Hulon Mitchell, Jr., a black
Laszlo Toth (1940–), Hungarian-born Australian who claimed he was Jesus Christ
Wayne Bent (1941–), also known as Michael Travesser
Ariffin Mohammed (1943–), the founder of the banned Sky Kingdom in Malaysia
Mitsuo Matayoshi (1944–), a conservative Japanese politician
José Luis de Jesús Miranda (1946–), Puerto Rican
Inri Cristo (1948–), a Brazilian astrologer
Thomas Harrison Provenzano (1949–2000), an American convicted murderer
Shoko Asahara (1955–), founded Aum Shinrikyo in 1984.
David Koresh (1959–1993), leader of a Branch Davidian religious sect in Waco
Hogen Fukunaga (1945–) claimed he was Jesus Christ and Gautama Buddha.
Marina Tsvigun (1960–), leader of the Great White Brotherhood
Sergey Torop (1961–), claims to be "reborn" as Vissarion, Jesus Christ returned
Maurice Clemmons (1972 – 2009) murdered four police officers in Washington state
David Shayler (1965–) proclaimed himself to be the Messiah.
Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez (1990-), sent to kill U.S. President Barack Obama
Alan John Miller (1962–), leader of the Australia-based Divine Truth movement
Lia Eden (1947-), born as Lia Aminuddin in Indonesia

[oldr_n_wsr]

Doesn't seem like he's hurting anybody, nor keeping them against their will. Leave him be.

even if you don't believe I am Jesus, at least learn how to love."

Not a bad message.

[rubato]

he used to be so insistent on being an exclusive franchise with strict rules for followers.
yrs,
rubato

Those strict rules in full:

Mat 5:39 Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Mat 5:40 if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.
Mat 5:41 if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
Mat 5:42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.
Mat 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 6:2 when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised
Mat 6:3 when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
Mat 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged.
Mat 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
Mat 7:15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

(cont p. A.D. 94)

(That's enough rules. ed.)

This is the relevant passage. I'm surprised you didn't think of it:

"No one come to the father except through me."

My comment was about the Buddhist lack of exclusivity in the quote; wholly un-Christian. The claim of exclusive truth of Islam and Christianity are what typify them in a world of faiths which do not.

yrs,
rubato

[MajGenl.Meade]

Don't be surprised. It was the 'rules' I was interested in.

Since you mention it, all faiths claim to be true. Some may defy the law of non-contradiction by (falsely) asserting that there are many truths (itself an exclusive truth claim because all other claims to the contrary must be false).

But let's keep this as light-hearted and rubbishy as possible. Too much actual discussion will upset Ray

Meade

[rubato]

The rules include the exclusivity thing. "the lord thy god is a jealous god" right? In the OT, god fucks with your shit if you forget that one. Really uncompromising about it.

I am being light-hearted. That's why I was having fun with AusChrist 2.0 espousing a new-agey "all paths lead to the truth" thing. It amuses me that he is accepted as the one-and-only true messiah with such glaring omissions in plausibility. But people believe all kinds of implausible crap, astrology, homeopathy, "toxins", kirlian photography, faith healing, magnets, that microwaves cause cancer or other diseases &c.




yrs,
rubato

[Sean]

Hmmm...

Mostly nutters Meade, with the possible exception of Haile Selassie. For it is written in the Gospel of Brian 8:12

Only the true Messiah denies his divinity.

[MajGenl.Meade]

"Mostly"?

Oh pshaw, next you'll be saying we should follow the gourd when any fule kno it's the sandal .......



Anyway, I'm still trying to get over the fact that rubato doesn't believe in magnets!

[oldr_n_wsr]

Modern life would be impossible without magnets.

[Joe Guy]

I'm pretty sure Jesus used magnets to help him walk on water.

He used the same concept that allowed him to not slide off the dashboard of my father's car.

[Lord Jim]

Last Saturday I went downtown to get my hair cut, and as I arrived a little early and it was a nice morning, I stood outside for a while having a puff on my pipe and finishing my coffee, when up walks a drunken schizophrenic street person...(mental illness and substance abuse is really not a winning combination; I don't know what it is but these types always seem to gravitate to me. Any time I'm out in public, if there's a four star kook within 100 yards, I can count on him or her coming up to me.)

The fellow just stands uncomfortably close to me (personal hygiene was obviously not a priority) and stares at me for a little while, and then asks me for change, which I gave him. I rarely give change to these types but as I was stationary, I thought a 50 cent "go away fee" would be worth it.

He did not go away, but what followed was rather entertaining, so I suppose I got my fifty cents worth. He proceeded to announce to me that he was Jesus, and then went on to declare that he could tell that I was a gay Jew...

Unfortunately I happened to have coffee in my mouth when he said this, which I expelled in a blast of laughter. When I had composed myself, I replied, "My Lord, I have to say I am deeply disappointed. Not even close. I happen to be a straight Catholic. Somehow I had always expected that your powers of clairvoyance would be a little better than that. I guess you're a little rusty. Perhaps you would do better trying to guess my age or weight?"

This response seemed to confuse him (well, more than he already was, anyway) and he finally moved on....

I felt like shouting after him, "And by the way, what ever happened to 'cleanliness is next to Godliness'?", but I refrained...