A$$hole Parking

[Joe Guy]

[Scooter]

People with expensive cars and an entitlement complex park their cars in such a manner because they believe it will protect them from dings from cars in the adjacent spaces. They need to be taught it will not, by someone who keys their car thoroughly on both sides, or by smashing out his lights, as happened twice in as many weeks to a turd who used to park that way in the garage in my building. He learned his lesson.

[Lord Jim]

They need to be taught it will not, by someone who keys their car thoroughly on both sides, or by smashing out his lights, as happened twice in as many weeks to a turd who used to park that way in the garage in my building. He learned his lesson.

Do the police have any leads on the "lesson teacher"?

[Crackpot]

you know when people do that out in the far reaches of a parking lot (that has extra space it doesn't bother me much but when they pull that shit up close... Well lets just say they'd better hope someone else is around.

[Joe Guy]

The suspect was described having been in the area and possessing a green face with horns on his forehead while carrying a fully loaded key chain in open view.

At the moment he is being described as a "Person of Interest" and possible repeat offender.

The Gay Coalition of Canada has declared this to be a "vicious profiling gay bashing manhunt" and vows to bring in the real "keyer' who they say is actually a white man wearing a hulk mask to hide warts that are growing on two sides of his forehead.

No comments have been heard from Al Sharpton, Gloria Allread or George Zimmerman to date.

[Lord Jim]

Police are advising that if you see someone matching the description, do not approach...

The suspect is believed to be armed and fabulous....

[Gob]

Our local website has a regular feature...

[Joe Guy]

New reports have been released regarding the green vandalism suspect saying that many witnesses have heard the suspect say that he hates liberty.

It is now believed that the green faced, red eyed suspect is a member of a violent fringe Islamist group that has a compound in a remote area of Canada. He walks with a partial limp that is believed to be the result of painful butt surgery.

He also continues to be 'armed and fabulous' as another colorful news reporter has indicated.

The compound he occupies has been described as "pristine" and having a "beautifully decorated interior".

If you see what you believe to be this suspect, authorities want you call 911 immediately and take pictures of him with your smart phone.

[Jarlaxle]

People with expensive cars and an entitlement complex park their cars in such a manner because they believe it will protect them from dings from cars in the adjacent spaces. They need to be taught it will not, by someone who keys their car thoroughly on both sides, or by smashing out his lights, as happened twice in as many weeks to a turd who used to park that way in the garage in my building. He learned his lesson.

And the person who did that needs to get serious jail time. Vandalism should be punished horribly...Singapore is too easy on vandals.

[Lord Jim]

Singapore is too easy on vandals.

So you would recommend caning? How many lashes?

[Econoline]

you know when people do that out in the far reaches of a parking lot (that has extra space it doesn't bother me much but when they pull that shit up close... Well lets just say they'd better hope someone else is around.

Pretty much my sentiments, too...but I wouldn't go so far as to vandalize the vehicle. I sometimes deliberately back my (old, banged-up, rusty) van right next to the driver's side of the offending vehicle, about 3 or 4 inches away from it. (I back in so that my driver's door is openable but their's is not; if they've backed in I pull in forward.) Obviously this is not an approach that would work if your own vehicle is in pristine condition, but it gives me a way to vent my anger without actually doing any damage, and I think it gets the point across.

[Jarlaxle]

Singapore is too easy on vandals.

So you would recommend caning? How many lashes?

Ten, to the face. Second offense, hang him up by his thumbs and remove every square inch of skin between the neck and the knees with a scourge, then spray him with salt water..

[Jarlaxle]

you know when people do that out in the far reaches of a parking lot (that has extra space it doesn't bother me much but when they pull that shit up close... Well lets just say they'd better hope someone else is around.

Pretty much my sentiments, too...but I wouldn't go so far as to vandalize the vehicle. I sometimes deliberately back my (old, banged-up, rusty) van right next to the driver's side of the offending vehicle, about 3 or 4 inches away from it. (I back in so that my driver's door is openable but their's is not; if they've backed in I pull in forward.) Obviously this is not an approach that would work if your own vehicle is in pristine condition, but it gives me a way to vent my anger without actually doing any damage, and I think it gets the point across.

I'd worry about slashed tires, a broken windshield, a speared radiator, or a gallon of water in your gas tank!

[Crackpot]

And then they will be caned so what's the problem?

[liberty]

New reports have been released regarding the green vandalism suspect saying that many witnesses have heard the suspect say that he hates liberty.

It is now believed that the green faced, red eyed suspect is a member of a violent fringe Islamist group that has a compound in a remote area of Canada. He walks with a partial limp that is believed to be the result of painful butt surgery.

You caused me to have a coughing fit; I couldn’t stop laughing.
.


You guys are funny and humor is hard to write.

[Rick]

you know when people do that out in the far reaches of a parking lot (that has extra space it doesn't bother me much but when they pull that shit up close... Well lets just say they'd better hope someone else is around.

Pretty much my sentiments, too...but I wouldn't go so far as to vandalize the vehicle. I sometimes deliberately back my (old, banged-up, rusty) van right next to the driver's side of the offending vehicle, about 3 or 4 inches away from it. (I back in so that my driver's door is openable but their's is not; if they've backed in I pull in forward.) Obviously this is not an approach that would work if your own vehicle is in pristine condition, but it gives me a way to vent my anger without actually doing any damage, and I think it gets the point across.

I'd worry about slashed tires, a broken windshield, a speared radiator, or a gallon of water in your gas tank!

Ya'll can tell from this photo that they are parked in close proximity to something?

It appears as though there are many spaces available in this lot. I will agree however when space is minimal this would seem over the top.

Vandalism just for parking is a bit excessive, you would actually have a worse citizenship rating than the one that parked that way to begin with.

[Jarlaxle]

Id never DO it, I would WORRY about it!

[Rick]

My bad, I read that wrong...

[oldr_n_wsr]

I remember when I got my first brand new car I went to a wedding. Big parking lot and I parked way out in the back where there were no cars around me. I'm walking into the hall and see this big ass caddy parking right next to me (50 empty spots around me and the old geezer has to park right next to me). A lady gets out of the passengers side and pushes her car door open (coupe deville so only a two doors with and they are big doors) with her foot/leg and hits my passenger door. I go back and tell her she dented my car and should be carful next time. She says, well you know how heavy caddy doors are.
Some people.

[Scooter]

Do the police have any leads on the "lesson teacher"?

It was not me. But he was often parked near the door to the elevators so I would pass by it a lot and it was always parked that way. And when I saw it vandalized twice in about two weeks I figured someone had gotten pissed at having to schlep their groceries from the far side of the garage one time too many, and he must have thought so too, because I haven't seen him do it since.

eta - although I have also seen him around the building with a new Gina* every few months, could be he pissed off one of them



* the female version of a Gino - big hair, teased of course, makeup applied with a trowel, too much perfume, obvious fake nails, wearing or carrying a designer something just to be seen with it.