My heart bleeds for him...

[Gob]

A bar has been forced to apologise to two customers who were given a receipt describing them as 'gay guys on stools'.



Al Butler and his friend, both aged 26, were left fuming when they were handed the bill at the end of their lunch.

A waitress had written 'Gay guys...stools' on it to show fellow staff where the pair were sitting when they delivered their food.

He complained after spotting the line on the receipt at Judson's Bar, in Pocklington, North Yorkshire which was used as a guide to indicate to staff where customers were sitting.

Mr Butler has been left angered by the treatment he received calling it as 'unacceptable as racism.'
He said: 'My friend spotted it first and said "I think the manager's misconstrued our lunch"

'I obviously thought it was inappropriate. It took a while for it sink in. It was not insulting, it was just a shock.

'I was surprised. I would not expect it anywhere else. It's as equally unacceptable as racism.

'It's not a bad thing to be called gay - although I'm not and neither is my friend - but I think it's prejudiced. It's jumping to a conclusion without the need to do so.'

Mr Butler, who was visiting his home town from Derby, where he works as an aerospace engineer, claimed when he had complained in person at the bar he had not received an apology.

Instead the barman simply told him: 'Sorry, there's nothing I can do.'

[Scooter]

The bar was "forced" to apologize? By whom?

I don't suppose the apology could possibly have come because the owner was appalled by the unprofessional behaviour of his staff.

[Lord Jim]

The waitress was obviously in the wrong here...

She should have written, "overly sensitive jerks...stools"...

[Scooter]

If she had written, "black guys...stools", or "Jews...stools", would they have been "oversensitive jerks" for taking offence?

[Lord Jim]

Well, if it had happened to me, I'd have probably just had a laugh over it...

And if I were black, and I was there with a black friend, and we were the only black guys in the place I don't think I'd be particularly offended by "black guys...stools" as an instruction to tell the order server where to deliver our food...

Obviously it would be different if they had written something like "coons...stools" or "spades...stools"...

Which I think is kind of the point...

The waitress didn't use a derogatory term; the ticket didn't say "faggots...stools" or "queers...stools"...

Could she have come up with something better? Yeah, sure, maybe, I guess...

But it sure doesn't look like something to get a pole up one's ass to the extent this guy did, talking about being "shocked" and thinking it was important enough to throw a hissy fit to the press....

Whether or not this was the best description the girl could have come up with, there's certainly no indication here that there was any malicious intent... (not even Mr. Pole-up-the-ass alleges that...)

If this is the worst thing that happens to that guy this year, he's way ahead of the game...

[Joe Guy]

If she had written, "black guys...stools", or "Jews...stools", would they have been "oversensitive jerks" for taking offence?

If she had written either of those the waiter probably wouldn't be able to find them to give them their order.

[rubato]

Being called a stool is bad enough but a gay guys stool is beyond insulting.

Outrageous !

At least they didn't say it was a camp stool.

[dgs49]

So...was the waiter able to identify which patrons were to receive the meal?

It would appear that he was.

Is it insulting to be perceived as gay?

[Big RR]

I don't think the question is whether calling someone gay is an isult, it's more that there are just things we don't comment on. People could have gotten just as mad about a receipt saying "the old guy (or woman)" or "the fat guy with the ugly woman". Even if they are true observations, it is not polite to comment on them (or especially, to reduce them to writing); there's just no need for it.

[Lord Jim]

But Big RR, "fat" and "ugly" are more than just things that "aren't commented on"; they are insults...

[Big RR]

Not really, a fat person is a fat person, and an ugly person is an ugly person (OK, ugly is in the eye of the beholder, but I think we probably could all agree on what constitutes fat); kind of like what constitutes "old". These words can be (and are sometimes) used as insults (like "gay" is by some), but they are not necessarily so

[rubato]

I think there is a general rule that other than clearly neutral descriptive terms references to appearance are a sensitive issue. Comparatives are especially touchy and even positive comparatives are fraught with peril; nearly everyone knows that you can't say " it's the ugly one" even if 99.999% of persons would correctly identify the right one but you cannot also say " the pretty one" w/o giving even more grievous insult to all other members of the group and incurring lasting hatred.

There is also, in this day and age, the likelihood of being thought sarcastic.

Yrs rubato

[oldr_n_wsr]

There is also, in this day and age, the likelihood of being thought sarcastic.

There is also, in this day and age, people who are oversensative.

[Big RR]

I'm telling you, I didn't come to this establishment to be insulted.

Oh? Where do you usually go?

[dgs49]

Obviously, if the waitress had realized her description was going to show up on a written document, she would have chosen her words more carefully. Does the fact that she assumed her communication would be completely private matter? Her intent was not to insult, but rather to identify in a shorthand way.

If they were midgets and she wrote, "the two midgets"?

[Big RR]

Why obviously? If descriptions of patrons are routinely put on serving slips, don't you think the waitress would have known it would be written down? My guess is that the copy is not one ordinarily given to patrons, but they are always written down.

[oldr_n_wsr]

The establishment should give each table a number.
Then those sitting at table 1 can feel superior to those at table 8.

[Crackpot]

That would require the ability to read and understand a map.

[eddieq]

Was the server unprofessional? Sure. But this guy is acting like a huge thunder twonk and blowing it way out of proportion. The old "me thinks he protests too much" comes to mind. Many people just look for a reason to be offended and this guy seems like one of them.

[Lord Jim]

The establishment should give each table a number.

I believe that's standard practice in the restaurant industry oldr; they probably did that in this place too.

Because of the use of the word "stools" my assumption was that the guys were eating at the bar, so there wouldn't be a table number.

ETA:

I pretty much agree with Eddie....

Eddie, if you're going to post sensible stuff like that, you should post more often; we could use more sensible stuff around here...