Favourite cure.

[Gob]

You may not see it on NHS guidelines anytime soon, but two scientists at the University of Sydney have put forward a handy case of how masturbation can help prevent cystitis, cancer and diabetes.

No, it's not a spoof, and no, one of them isn't called Mrs Palmer.

Anthony Santella, a public health scientist and his colleague Spring Chenoa Cooper, a senior lecturer wrote an opinion piece in the academic website The Conversation, commenting on the "ridiculous" myths around masturbation.

One of course includes the famous one about it making you go blind (if that were the case, 94% of men and 84% of women would be carrying white sticks).

Cystitis
The authors say that it can help prevent cystitis through the process of tenting - where the cervix opens due to arousal. "Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous. This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out."

Diabetes
What does the one-hand shuffle have to do with diabetes, you ask? This one is slightly more tenuous - but masturbating releases the same hormones that induces drowsiness. The authors say: "Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release.

Cancer
In the same way that masturbating helps to 'flush' the cervix, masturbating can apparently help lower the risk of prostate cancer. It gives the "prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents."

Finally...
"Masturbation also improves immune functioning by increasing cortisol levels, which can regulate immune functioning in small doses. It also reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins in the bloodstream."

[Econoline]

And in a related study....

Sex as Exercise

Karelis and his colleagues recruited 21 young heterosexual committed couples from the local area and had them jog on treadmills for 30 minutes, while researchers monitored their energy expenditure and other metrics, in order to provide a comparison for the physical demands of sex. The scientists next gave their volunteers unobtrusive armband activity monitors that gauge exertion in terms of calories and METs, or metabolic equivalent of task, a physiological measure comparing an activity to sitting perfectly still, which is a 1-MET task. Then the scientists sent the couples home, instructing them to complete at least one sex act a week for a month while wearing the armbands, and to fill out questionnaires about how each session made them feel, physically and psychologically, especially compared with running on the treadmill.

When the researchers analyzed all of the resulting data...

[Sue U]

the scientists sent the couples home, instructing them to complete at least one sex act a week for a month while wearing the armbands, and to fill out questionnaires about how each session made them feel, physically and psychologically, especially compared with running on the treadmill.

some men, according to their activity monitors, used more energy for brief periods during sex than they did jogging

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, don't they?