Considering a radical change...

[Econoline]

The sentence "I agree with rubato and Lord Jim" is one which I rarely get to write here, and when the opportunity to say that presents itself I can't resist.

Jarl, I hope you listen to your friends here, even if you don't consider us friends, well some of us have been there done that and somehow survived. The Christmas season is definitely the shittiest time of year for some of us sometimes, and the cheeriest most uplifting things are really the worst. (An antidepressant is not a chemical lobotomy, BTW...it's a correction of a chemical imbalance, and if you find one that works it won't make everything better but it might let you imagine a path toward somewhere rather than nowhere.)

[rubato]

A lot of psychotropic drugs are like aspirin or Motrin; something you do for a limited time to cope with a temporary problem and make it more bearable. Like taking an anti- inflammatory for tendinitis. Many of them have milder effects and are a lot less damaging than drinking to excess day after day would be.

I have nothing against self- medicating with alcohol; it's effective, cheap and can be quite pleasant. But very harmful on an ongoing basis. Can cause major injury.

"Talk therapy" can be very good but it can take a lot of trial and error to find a therapist who works for you.



Yrs,
Rubato

[oldr_n_wsr]

medicating with alcohol; it's effective, cheap and can be quite pleasant.

I would advise not to medicate with alcohol. Alcohol is a depresant and will only "highten" the depression. It's will, temporarily, deaden feelings but they return and are magnified when you wake up. It does not correct the chemical imbalance that may or may not be there.

[oldr_n_wsr]

IIRC you are in RI. Here are some links to support groups in that state.
http://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/p ... =RI&spec=2
http://www.butler.org/patientsandcommun ... spital.cfm
http://www.yellowpages.com/providence-r ... ort-groups
https://providence.net/medical-services ... roups.html
http://pop.mentalhealthamerica.net/find-affiliate

Please keep us posted.

[Rick]

Well since you decided to tell us you wanted to end it here, maybe you would at least tell us about what you thought the beginning of the end was

[MajGenl.Meade]

Also I'm thinking the ceiling fan installation may not have gone so well....

[Econoline]

Yeah, that was one of my first thoughts, too. (Or maybe the floor sanding? BTDT.)

There's nothing like a home improvement project gone bad to spin an incipient bout of depression out of control. I could tell you about a certain 13-hour-long gas water heater installation--with random uncontrolled leaks every time I tried turning the main water shutoff back on--that had that effect on me, but no, on second thought, I couldn't...I'd rather keep that memory deeply buried. My wife fled to her mother's house at some point in the drama and alone in the basement at around midnight this could have described my thoughts exactly:

I'm considering...basically rebooting my life. Just walk away from everyone and everything...hitch-hike someplace (don't know--or care--where)...just start from scratch.

Considering that everything I have ever touched in my entire wasted life turns to shit, the best thing I could do...would probably be to leave and never return.

Yeah, BTDT, ouch.

[TPFKA@W]

I wish I could lend you my husband's biochemical makeup. Never seen him depressed. He farts rainbows on his worst days. It would be nice if it was something he could share.

[Guinevere]

Jarl -- I posted about this at the old place, but I've struggled with depression at various times in my life, and found counseling and yes, medication, was incredibly helpful. I resisted both, but finally realized I couldn't handle t on my own any more. And I never felt changed or different from either -- no craniotomy or deep personality changes. By getting some professional help, I learned how to manage it successfully on my own. I haven't needed either kind of intervention in over a decade.

Please reach out to Liz and your family, I'm sure they can help and support you. And feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Be well.

[Jarlaxle]

Also I'm thinking the ceiling fan installation may not have gone so well....

Hasn't gone at all, yet...need a day Liz is off, since it will be much easier with two people. It takes a lot more than having to glare at a now non-functional fan control on the wall to ruin my day.

[Crackpot]

Jarl -- I posted about this at the old place, but I've struggled with depression at various times in my life, and found counseling and yes, medication, was incredibly helpful. I resisted both, but finally realized I couldn't handle t on my own any more. And I never felt changed or different from either...

I did. I began to feel like myself again. Depression anxiety and irritability. First is controlled by meds. Second I learned coping mechanisms for. The third is work in progress. Got meds for when it gets bad (which rarely happens anymore) leading the early tells so I can head it off before I become a total asshole to those I care about.

[Jarlaxle]

Well...I'm home. The hellidays are almost over. My Dakota is repaired and undercoated. I have fled my mother's house, getting away from my hyper cousins, my moonbat sister, and my grieving stepfather. (His father died last week, age 91.)

Only worries now are fixing the fan tomorrow, having my suit dry-cleaned, and the fact I might get 6" of snow Thursday. (!) And it might hit -14 (!!!) Friday night!

I think I'll be parking the truck DOWNWIND of the house. The undercoating is oil-based and...let's say a bit pungent until it cures. (Wow, what a smell!)

[MajGenl.Meade]

Ah, the delights of a family Christmas. Let's hope you don't find the local kids outside later today, sniffing your bakkie. Happy New Year!

[Jarlaxle]

Err...can I have that in ENGLISH, please?

In other words: what the hell is a "bakkie"?

[oldr_n_wsr]

Yup, snow and cold to bring in the new year. I'll take tomorrow to put the plow on the tractor. Then keep the battery jumper/booster in the garage to get it started. Move the generator to the front of the shed and ready the extension cords (that plug into the house power box) in case the power goes off. Winter has arrived.

[TPFKA@W]

A bakkie is a pickup truck. South Africanese style according to Google.

[Rick]

Jar I think I see the problem here,

You have a baditude, maybe you should consider buying tagless underroos from here on out...

[Jarlaxle]

Yup, snow and cold to bring in the new year. I'll take tomorrow to put the plow on the tractor. Then keep the battery jumper/booster in the garage to get it started. Move the generator to the front of the shed and ready the extension cords (that plug into the house power box) in case the power goes off. Winter has arrived.

I think I need to run up my generator today. It will be cold enough I may put it in the garage; might even put a heater on it.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Did all I planned to (plow, generator, etc). Even winterized the motorcycles and moved them to the back of the shed. I'm ready.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.