Life's little essentials

[Gob]

It has long been considered the most upmarket of supermarkets, and now Waitrose has cemented its reputation with a range of ‘essential’ items so unnecessary that shoppers have taken to the internet to mock it.

Vermicelli nests, baby avocados, kelp soap and cotton flower ironing water are among the unusual products to find themselves branded as ‘essentials’.

Limoncello dessert, parmesan and pâté are on the list, too. So are dinner candles, cappuccino mousse, lardons, artichoke hearts and cardamom and black pepper soap. With many British households still feeling the effects of the recession, one critic posted a photo of the ‘essential Waitrose’ pasta product with the sarcastic observation: ‘How does one get through the day without some vermicelli nests?’

‘What sort of a ponce thinks blueberries are essential?’ asked another baffled commenter.

When the essential Waitrose range was first launched, the supermarket promised customers that though prices might be lower than some of its other offerings – such as the free-range goose eggs that sold for £6.99 each – the range would still offer ‘the reassurance of Waitrose values’.

Since then, it has expanded to 2,100 items, including many that might seem more at home in a delicatessen or a niche cosmetics store.
The attack on Waitrose is far from the first time the supermarket and its clientele have been mocked.

In July, the Overheard In Waitrose Facebook page attracted headlines by revealing shoppers’ exchanges including ‘Sebastian, supper is in the tagine’ and ‘Lucas, put that falafel down, you already chose olives with manchego as your treat’.

Last night a defiant Waitrose spokeswoman said that rather than removing products from the essential Waitrose range, the supermarket has plans ‘in the pipeline’ to add 500 items to it.

She said: ‘Put simply, if it’s essential to our customers, it’s essential to us.

‘Nearly eight out of ten baskets at our supermarket now contain at least one essential Waitrose item.’

[Sue U]

What sort of a ponce thinks blueberries are essential?’ asked another baffled commenter.

Well, maybe not essential, but I certainly would rather not be without. South Jersey is blueberry country but the season is short, so between Flag Day and 4th of July we pick and freeze enough blueberries to last us through the year, as well as eating all the fresh local product we can stuff down our gullets.

[Big RR]

BTW, I had to look it up:

ponce


/päns/

Britishinformal


noun

noun: ponce; plural noun: ponces

1. derogatory
an effeminate man.

2. a man who lives off a prostitute's earnings.

verb

verb: ponce; 3rd person present: ponces; past tense: ponced; past participle: ponced; gerund or present participle: poncing



1. live off a prostitute's earnings.

Defintion 2 appears to be similar to pimp in the US, but I would not think most pimps (at least in the movies) are effeminate--they're usually the ones who enforce payment when a john tries to run out without paying. Maybe a ponce is an effeminate pimp?

[MajGenl.Meade]

A ponce is not restricted to one who enforces payment or 'runs' a prostitute. It can be a boyfriend or husband who's too lazy, weak and/or vile enough to prefer 'poncing' to getting a real job. The verb can be extended to refer to any person who is parasitic upon another but is rarely (if ever) applied to females. So a son of working age lazing around the house while the parental units provide the readies can be said to be poncing off his parents.

[Long Run]

What sort of a ponce thinks blueberries are essential?’ asked another baffled commenter.

Well, maybe not essential, but I certainly would rather not be without. South Jersey is blueberry country but the season is short, so between Flag Day and 4th of July we pick and freeze enough blueberries to last us through the year, as well as eating all the fresh local product we can stuff down our gullets.

Yes, picking out the one highly nutritious food on the list misses the point.

[rubato]

"Free range goose eggs?"


yrs,
rubato

[oldr_n_wsr]

Bljueberries are the best. Pa season for wild blueberries is July 4 to about first week of August. We have tons of bushes on our land and many more around the lakes edge where they get really big regardless of how much rain. We pick and freeze also.
I like them frozen.

[BoSoxGal]

Sometimes it IS essential to indulge oneself a little.

[Lord Jim]

I agree....

I wouldn't call artichoke hearts or pâté "essentials" (unless that was all you had to eat, in which they would be "essential"...) but they're enjoyable to have...

[rubato]

"Free range goose eggs?"


yrs,
rubato

Zero, but with a difference.

yrs,
rubato