At the Coffee Shop

[BoSoxGal]

It never ceases to amaze me how a mother of a small child can sit by and say nothing while said young child engages in very loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing while disturbing the peace of a coffee shop otherwise peopled with adults trying to read newspapers, books, tablets, etc. while enjoying their expensive coffees & pastries.

Coffee shops are not romper rooms. Why do parents today feel completely unashamed of allowing their children's behavior to disturb other peaceful, generally adult-oriented spaces?

[Gob]

Agreed. Same in the library here yesterday, I was going to drop a hefty tome on the brat.

[MajGenl.Meade]

My answer is because being rude is now enshrined as "normal" behavior. Manners are a foreign concept in today's society - and probably will be deported.

[Joe Guy]

The parents were probably on their cellphones and didn't notice.

[MajGenl.Meade]

... you forgot "talking loudly"

[Econoline]

Goes without saying. Of course they were "talking loudly"...they were trying to be heard over the screaming brats.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Oh yeah.... course!

[Crackpot]

it's not like any corrective attempted action won't earn just as many judgements and disapproving looks.

After all do you know what's more annoying than a

young child engaging in very loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing while disturbing the peace

?

A parent yelling at a

young child engaging in very loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing while disturbing the peace

.

Anything else is likely to get CPS called on them.

Things people who have never had small children don't get:
Parents need a break too.
Parents in a subconscious effort to save their own sanity learn how to tune our the everyday turmoil their spawn create.

Something everyone forgets:
You don't know everyones situation. Handle adversity with patience, charity and understanding.


P.S. bold=my edit

[Joe Guy]

Things people who have never had small children don't get:
Parents need a break too....

Do they need to take that break while their children are causing a disturbance in a restaurant?

[MajGenl.Meade]

Invisible fence dog collar and a remote....

[BoSoxGal]

The parents were probably on their cellphones and didn't notice.

She was, in fact, reading or playing on her smartphone while this little girl tired desperately to get her attention via said loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing communication. An older child sat next to her quietly, reading or playing on his own electronic device.

Perhaps the little girl just needs a digital babysitter?


Please don't get me wrong - I love children, they are the future and all deserve to be well-loved.

However, when I was a child, parents were much more likely to remove such a child from a public space, or to require the child to be quiet - or at least, to pay attention! It makes me crazy how mothers who have learned to 'tune out' their kids when behaving in such fashion expect the rest of us to, as well.

If I were a parent, I wouldn't choose a coffee shop as a place to sit and play on my smartphone while my kids were feeling too antsy to be quiet themselves - I'd get my coffee and bagel to go. That's something else people used to do in yesteryear - sacrifice for their children - and others - while the children were too young to conform their behavior to generally acceptable standards.

It only frustrates me because I don't go out myself much anymore - mostly for budgetary reasons, I've been saving to fund my law office launch - and I won't go 'to town' again until after the 1st of the new year, as I hate shopping during the holiday season. So, my last chance to sit in my favorite coffee shop and read the newspaper was blemished by this inconsiderate parent (NOT by her child; it's NOT the child's fault!).

[BoSoxGal]

it's not like any corrective attempted action won't earn just as many judgements and disapproving looks.

After all do you know what's more annoying than a

young child engaging in very loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing while disturbing the peace

?

A parent yelling at a

young child engaging in very loud, annoyingly repetitive screechy sing-songing while disturbing the peace

.

Anything else is likely to get CPS called on them.

Things people who have never had small children don't get:
Parents need a break too.
Parents in a subconscious effort to save their own sanity learn how to tune our the everyday turmoil their spawn create.

Something everyone forgets:
You don't know everyones situation. Handle adversity with patience, charity and understanding.


P.S. bold=my edit

There's no need whatsoever to 'yell' at such a child, ever. Effective discipline does not require yelling - she didn't bother saying a single word to the child, in any level of voice - I was sitting at the next table, I heard EVERYTHING that was going on.

I do handle adversity with patience, charity and understanding on a regular basis, Crackpot - but thanks for the judgmental assumption.

Letting your child disturb a public space for 45+ minutes while saying nothing isn't excusable - you need a break? Get a sitter, or take your mental break while your children are in school or sleeping, or take your break over McDonald's coffee while your kids scream and yell and work off their excess energy in the Play Place - or, don't take a break until they are old enough to behave.

Somehow, parents managed to do that in yesteryear. There is no excuse for this new trend of letting one's 'spawn' create 'everyday turmoil' in public, other than a total lack of consideration for others on the part of the parents, which they are instilling in their children by this very refusal to require their children to conform their behavior in a public space. This was not a toddler - this was an articulate 5/6/7 year old girl who is perfectly developmentally capable of keeping quiet when quiet behavior is demanded - had it been demanded.

eta: Your comments on kid-related issues as now somehow an 'expert' because you've finally had a child are very annoying. It is NOT true that people who haven't had kids - either because they can't biologically, or can't afford them, or have made the choice not to have children for some other reason - don't 'get' what parenting is about.

That is the stupidest myth perpetrated by the 'new' parents of today - we ALL understand what parenting is about, because unless you were raised by wolves, you HAD parents growing up, and you were a obviously once a kid. Duh.

Stupid ass comment that is very offensive toward the childless or childfree.

Not to mention that many of us have expended a great deal of time and effort toward helping to raise, or raising outright, other peoples' children. I've step-parented a 3-5 year old, a 6-8 year old, and a 13-15 year old - I've also babysat for extended periods of time children as young a 3 months old. I know about not getting sleep, being frayed, exhausted, etc. But somehow I managed to expect good behavior of the children I was raising, to discipline them appropriately when they didn't behave as they were developmentally able in a public setting, and to remove them from said public setting for the sake of other customers/patrons so my step-children or wards would learn to be considerate of others or there would be a negative consequence.

I guess we know that you don't expect your child to be considerate of others, considering your response. Don't feel compelled to beat me over the head with repeated declarations of your 'expert' parenting skills and repeated defenses of inconsiderate people who raise inconsiderate children - it will be a waste of your energy.

[Crackpot]

Someone has a fairytale view of what raising a child is like.

[wesw]

I raised my son alone for the first 10 years. I got lucky, he was a dream. slept every night thru from 6 mos on and never had a bedtime because he got sleepy about 8 30 until he was about 16. he s 24 soon and doing great.

some parents get difficult children. if that is combined with limited parenting skills, or just lifes stresses, parents can have problems.
sometimes they need help or at least empathy.

sure she should have engaged the child, but if no one taught her that she may not know how

[oldr_n_wsr]

Disciplining a child (especially in public) may hurt their self esteem.