Fun police strike again

[BoSoxGal]

[Sue U]

I don t know about passive- aggressive, but you are right about it being a shot at sue, specifically. she thought the crack about me being " expelled(spewed) from my syphilitic mother s uterous", in " whatever hog holler I m from", was sooooo funny. I guess I m still holding a grudge, which is wrong.

In fact, Scooter did not say anything about your mother or the relative condition of her uterus. He suggested that your manner of argument might be acceptable to "the inbred morons expelled from their mothers' syphilitic utueruses" in your particular locale. My only comment, in an entirely different thread, and only because you were bringing it up as a "hate thing," was my opinion that "Scooter can be rather colorful and entertaining in turning a phrase, and I thought that one was particularly well-crafted both for comedic and abusive effect." If you're still holding a grudge against either me or Scooter over that exchange, you need to get some perspective. Also probably out more, and off the interwebs.

after all i love my dog, and she chases ambulances too.....

Yeah, hi-larious.

[wesw]

well I said that it was wrong to hold the grudge. at least I recognize my faults.

even a blind squirrel can find the occasional acorn tho....

[Sue U]

One of my favorite jokes:

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it.

When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

[Scooter]

No one tells or appreciates a good lawyer joke as well as a lawyer. My partner used to rattle them off one after the other until my sides were splitting. He had a friend who worked at his firm who would perform at amateur nights at a few comedy clubs around town; lawyers from every Bay St. firm would fill the seats to catch his latest routines, including impressions of prominent lawyers and judges who would often as not be in the audience laughing their faces off.

[Sue U]

Then there's my favorite line from a courtroom scene in the Coen Brothers' Intolerable Cruelty:

Attorney: Objection, Your Honor: strangling the witness.

Judge: I'm going to allow it.

[Guinevere]

Especially if its your own witness

[Sue U]

Especially if its your own witness

Yeah, I've had a few of those. Also, from My Cousin Vinny (every trial lawyer's favorite movie):

Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?

Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.

[Guinevere]

I *love* that line.

How many times have I said to my Swede upon his questioning "am I under oath here counselor?" I'll have to remember to use the "I'm not a hostile witness . . . . yet" line next time

(lawyers, we really are funny -- at least amongst ourselves)