I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO'S

[MajGenl.Meade]

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO'S
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco's store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

[Gob]

The worrying thing is I can imagine you saying that.

[MajGenl.Meade]

I'd be more worried if you did.

[TPFKA@W]

I took you to be a Walmart shopper Meade.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Only because they wouldn't give me a job as a greeter.... told me I wasn't allowed to sit down