stalker advice
stalker advice
What are some precautions you can take if you have a potential stalker?
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: stalker advice
First, get a restraining order against the person.
Then tell everyone you know about the situation.
Arm yourself with guns, knives, grenades, pepper spray and nuclear weapons and anything else you can think of.
Then tell everyone you know about the situation.
Arm yourself with guns, knives, grenades, pepper spray and nuclear weapons and anything else you can think of.
Re: stalker advice
I think it would be hard to get a restraining order against a potential as opposed to an actual stalker. I do agree that you need to tell as many people as possible about your concerns. That way if you do need to go to the police down the line you've got people to back you up.
I'm not sure that weapons are necessary as most stalkers seem to avoid threatening contact but pepper spray can't be a bad idea.
Finally, gather up your loved ones and take them to your houseboat down on the Cape.
Sorry... couldn't resist...
I'm not sure that weapons are necessary as most stalkers seem to avoid threatening contact but pepper spray can't be a bad idea.
Finally, gather up your loved ones and take them to your houseboat down on the Cape.
Sorry... couldn't resist...
Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's 'art' and 'edgy' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'banned from the hardware store'?
Re: stalker advice
At this time it's only unwanted contact via facebook and phone.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: stalker advice
Call the police & file a report...start the paper trail. Also, call your phone company and internet providor.
If it gets any worse...I suggest getting a gun & learning to use it.
If it gets any worse...I suggest getting a gun & learning to use it.
Treat Gaza like Carthage.
Re: stalker advice
Internet stalking is stalking, period. If you've made it clear you wish no contact, you can probably seek a restraining/protection/harassment order. Speak to your local police.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
Re: stalker advice
THat is sort of the point we're at (well my wife really) is how exactly to tell him to move his creepy ass along with out seting this guy off into full on stalker mode. (he didn't take the gentle way the last time though it did buy us a few years)
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: stalker advice
You should report this to the police as soon as possible.Crackpot wrote:At this time it's only unwanted contact via facebook and phone.
Re: stalker advice
Wait in a back lane with a baseball bat, pound seven shades of shit out of him.
Seriously though, get the ball rolling with the cops now.
Seriously though, get the ball rolling with the cops now.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: stalker advice
Right, in Cali, email and social network posts are admissible in court: save them.
If he's calling you; record the call and them him you're recording the call; then that's admissible.
If he leaves messages on the machine; he knows and is consenting to being recorded: admissible.
Telling him not to contact you in any way, leaving this on the phone machine, or writing him a Facebook message leaves a record; if he continues to contact you after that, that constitutes harassment. If he's doing this by land line you can inform your phone company of this and they check their records to see from where the call is originating, and either block his calls or provide further evidence for a restraining order.
All is admissible in a case of stalking, particularly if you can produce other evidence like net posts and recorded calls.
Stop him/it now. Allowing it too continue, encourages him to escalate. Ignoring him hasn't worked up to this point , has it? You have to act.
If he's calling you; record the call and them him you're recording the call; then that's admissible.
If he leaves messages on the machine; he knows and is consenting to being recorded: admissible.
Telling him not to contact you in any way, leaving this on the phone machine, or writing him a Facebook message leaves a record; if he continues to contact you after that, that constitutes harassment. If he's doing this by land line you can inform your phone company of this and they check their records to see from where the call is originating, and either block his calls or provide further evidence for a restraining order.
All is admissible in a case of stalking, particularly if you can produce other evidence like net posts and recorded calls.
Stop him/it now. Allowing it too continue, encourages him to escalate. Ignoring him hasn't worked up to this point , has it? You have to act.
Re: stalker advice
At this point all it's been is contact. Nothing really has been said. He got really creepy the last time they talked enough so that my ife doesn't want anything to do with him.
Again all thats really happened is a facebook friend request (along with a long drawn ot explination on how he found her by accident) and a bunch of calls from his work (apparently) of which she only answered one (she didn't know the previous were him until looking up the history) and gave him a quick blowoff.
Again all thats really happened is a facebook friend request (along with a long drawn ot explination on how he found her by accident) and a bunch of calls from his work (apparently) of which she only answered one (she didn't know the previous were him until looking up the history) and gave him a quick blowoff.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: stalker advice
Just talked to your wife? You could play the angry, jealous husband and call him. (If you still have the number) Get angry,let it be known emphatically. "Don't call us, ya punlk! I've reported you!"
You can report cyberstalking here; Internet Crime Report Center
It may not be much now, but start the paper trail; better to be safe than sorry.
If you find out the number he left is from his work; contact that company. Even if he hasn't left is name, tell the co. that someone is using the business line for illegal activities. They may be able to check their records; find out who it is; and discipline him.
You can report cyberstalking here; Internet Crime Report Center
It may not be much now, but start the paper trail; better to be safe than sorry.
If you find out the number he left is from his work; contact that company. Even if he hasn't left is name, tell the co. that someone is using the business line for illegal activities. They may be able to check their records; find out who it is; and discipline him.
Re: stalker advice
Harassing phone calls are generally criminal. If they involve interstate transmission, they are federal crimes. If they do not, it depends on whether the single State involved has criminalized harassing phone calls, which most States have.
But this:
What have we got? One internet contact. Unless there is something specifically criminal in that contact -- e.g., a threat -- contacting someone once is hardly harassment, especially when the contact is made through a social-networking site. After all, it is a social-networking site: It's reason for existence is to facilitate contacts, and by putting oneself on it, one is inviting contact.
Then there are the phone calls. It appears that your wife answered only the most recent of those calls. (At least, that is what I understand from "she only answered one (she didn't know the previous were him until looking up the history)".) So the guy called several times, got the answering machine (or whatever) or got nothing at all, and then made a call which your wife answered.
Your wife apparently let him know in that most recent call that she does not wish to hear from him ("gave him a quick blowoff"). But it is hard to see how the phone calls, including the most recent one, are harassment. If I call someone and get no answer (or get sent to voice mail or whatever), I do not interpret that as meaning that the person does not wish to hear from me. I interpret that as meaning that the person is not home, or the person's cell phone is off, or the person is otherwise occupied, etc.
In a nutshell, I do not see from your description that this guy has made contact with your wife after being informed that she does not want any contact with him. How can a person be harassing someone via phone calls or facebooking or whatever until that person knows that that someone does not want the contact?
As bigskygal has observed: "If you've made it clear [that] you wish no contact, you can probably seek a restraining/protection/harassment order." Conversely, if he has not made contact after your wife has made it clear that she wishes no contact, I don't see the basis for any such order.
But then there is this:
All of that depends, however, on what went on "a few years" ago. And that I do not know.
I agree with what others have said about keeping track of the phone calls, facebook contact, etc. And I agree that reasonable measures of self-protection -- pepper spray, etc. -- are a good idea. (As to firearms, check your local laws carefully. The last thing you want is for your wife to be charged with unlawfully carrying a concealed weapon while the creepy guy is not charged with anything at all.) And even filing a police report may be a good idea.
But based on what you have told us about the situation, I don't think that you should expect to get any sort of restraining order. Again, where is the evidence that the creepy guy initiated contact with your wife after having been told by her that such contact was unwanted?
But also again, maybe such evidence can be found in whatever went on a few years ago. Without knowing what that was, I cannot say. But if you want a protective order, you should be prepared to produce evidence that the creepy guy continued to contact (or attempt to contact) her after she told him to go away.
But this:
suggests to me that proving any sort of harassment would be extremely difficult at this point.Crackpot wrote:Again all thats really happened is a facebook friend request (along with a long drawn ot explination on how he found her by accident) and a bunch of calls from his work (apparently) of which she only answered one (she didn't know the previous were him until looking up the history) and gave him a quick blowoff.
What have we got? One internet contact. Unless there is something specifically criminal in that contact -- e.g., a threat -- contacting someone once is hardly harassment, especially when the contact is made through a social-networking site. After all, it is a social-networking site: It's reason for existence is to facilitate contacts, and by putting oneself on it, one is inviting contact.
Then there are the phone calls. It appears that your wife answered only the most recent of those calls. (At least, that is what I understand from "she only answered one (she didn't know the previous were him until looking up the history)".) So the guy called several times, got the answering machine (or whatever) or got nothing at all, and then made a call which your wife answered.
Your wife apparently let him know in that most recent call that she does not wish to hear from him ("gave him a quick blowoff"). But it is hard to see how the phone calls, including the most recent one, are harassment. If I call someone and get no answer (or get sent to voice mail or whatever), I do not interpret that as meaning that the person does not wish to hear from me. I interpret that as meaning that the person is not home, or the person's cell phone is off, or the person is otherwise occupied, etc.
In a nutshell, I do not see from your description that this guy has made contact with your wife after being informed that she does not want any contact with him. How can a person be harassing someone via phone calls or facebooking or whatever until that person knows that that someone does not want the contact?
As bigskygal has observed: "If you've made it clear [that] you wish no contact, you can probably seek a restraining/protection/harassment order." Conversely, if he has not made contact after your wife has made it clear that she wishes no contact, I don't see the basis for any such order.
But then there is this:
A previous episode of stalking/harassment could change the whole equation. It could make the facebook contact an instance of harassment, it could make the phone calls which your wife did not know were from him instances of attempted harassment, and it could make the phone call which your wife did answer an instance of harassment.THat is sort of the point we're at (well my wife really) is how exactly to tell him to move his creepy ass along with out seting this guy off into full on stalker mode. (he didn't take the gentle way the last time though it did buy us a few years)
All of that depends, however, on what went on "a few years" ago. And that I do not know.
I agree with what others have said about keeping track of the phone calls, facebook contact, etc. And I agree that reasonable measures of self-protection -- pepper spray, etc. -- are a good idea. (As to firearms, check your local laws carefully. The last thing you want is for your wife to be charged with unlawfully carrying a concealed weapon while the creepy guy is not charged with anything at all.) And even filing a police report may be a good idea.
But based on what you have told us about the situation, I don't think that you should expect to get any sort of restraining order. Again, where is the evidence that the creepy guy initiated contact with your wife after having been told by her that such contact was unwanted?
But also again, maybe such evidence can be found in whatever went on a few years ago. Without knowing what that was, I cannot say. But if you want a protective order, you should be prepared to produce evidence that the creepy guy continued to contact (or attempt to contact) her after she told him to go away.
Reason is valuable only when it performs against the wordless physical background of the universe.
Re: stalker advice
I second everything Andrew has said. Keep records, and if he's doing something he has already been told he cannot do, call the police.
“I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks.” ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg, paraphrasing Sarah Moore Grimké
Re: stalker advice
In CA, a restraining order can only be placed on a known offender, for acts determined as harassment. Unless, it is the case of an automatic order attached to crimes of assault or domestic violence; this means, in filing for the order, you will need to provide documentation and/or testimony that the accused is engaged in harassing behavior. The is done at a small hearing where the suspected offender is present and is allowed to defend himself. This is why it's very important to start collecting evidence now, should it come to this.
Unfortunate thing about stalkers, they can come back sometimes years down the road. I checked all of the above because the Ex was sneaking around last year; '09 -The Year That Sucked' Without going into detail, I will here and now, take back anything negative I may have ever said about my crazy neighbors Cletus and Brandine Spuckler. They are quirky folk, but they do look out for me; and it was her quick eye that positively ID'ed him and got me witness testimony. ...so, he's not been around since.
Unfortunate thing about stalkers, they can come back sometimes years down the road. I checked all of the above because the Ex was sneaking around last year; '09 -The Year That Sucked' Without going into detail, I will here and now, take back anything negative I may have ever said about my crazy neighbors Cletus and Brandine Spuckler. They are quirky folk, but they do look out for me; and it was her quick eye that positively ID'ed him and got me witness testimony. ...so, he's not been around since.