Wait until the teen years, Jim.
We're going through that with Tati...
Or to be more precise, Kelly is going through it...
My attitude is this is a 16 year old girl who is
a lot better than we were at that age...
In this past summer when she didn't really have any responsibilities, and despite the fact that she has a boyfriend, she's been home every night by 11 o'clock...
In fact a number of times she's called us to pick her up at the beach (where she and her friends like to hang out) at
10 O'clock.....
I've made the point to Lady Kelly that when I was a teenager in the 70's, and she was teenager in the 80's, we would have stayed out till 2 in the morning...
Tati's a
much better kid than we were...
My attitude is:
Okay, she's 16 years old; maybe she drinks a beer every now and then, and maybe she takes a toke on some weed with her friends, (I really don't need to know anything about that) but she's a
good responsible kid who gets good grades and is basically serious minded, and knows what's important, and we should cut her some slack....
But this Alpha Female versus budding Alpha Female thing is
very painful for Kelly...
She feels really hurt by the fact she doesn't have the relationship with Tati that they had when she was little....
And my telling her, "don't worry about it, this will pass..."
Doesn't seem to help much....
Kelly's attitude is "she's playing you for a sucker, she can get away with anything with you"
and my response to that was, "well maybe, but so long as she's got a 3.8 GPA, I guess I'll be a sucker..."
But I've had to be the "peace maker" between the two of them and it's not right for Tati act so mean towards her mother...
And I've tried to explain that to her...
I did set my foot down
once...
I told Tati that if she slammed her bedroom door one more time, I would remove it...
And she thought that was funny and said, "Daddy, you don't know how to unbolt a door"....
And I said, "yeah you're right, but I'm going to have one of your cousins come over and get it done right now"
And I had them come over and start unscrewing the latches on her door, while she was there, and she said "okay I get it"...
And I said, "I'm not sure you do..."
I said, number one, if you
ever slam your bedroom door again, it's coming off; I'm not playing about that...
(She got the message on that one; even when she and her mother have had bad arguments, when she goes up to her room I remind her, "
don't slam that door" and she doesn't...)
And number two, you have to show some respect for your mother, even if you're mad at her...
I'm not sure that message has sunk in...
) and said "Daddy I like First Grade; it's not that hard" 
) I'm old enough to be my kid's grandfather, I don't regret a moment of it;
